Went for smear test - AIBU to be upset?

[hellsBells246]

I've just turned fifty. Went for a smear test today. The nurse mentioned four times beforehand that it might be uncomfortable and was I sure I wanted to continue? I said yes, it's fine.

So she shoves the speculum in hard, and I jumped. She said to relax 🙄

So she tried again. It was uncomfortable - more than other smear tests I've had.

So she opened the speculum and collected the cells, then said to me, 'are you sure you're not taking HRT?' (She had asked me this before). I said no, why do you ask? She said, oh, no reason. 🙄

Then I said 'ouch' when she withdrew the speculum, and she said, 'ah, it's more uncomfortable this time than it has been because you're menopausal and dry.'

Now, this might be factual but she made me feel about 104. I was really quite upset.

AIBU to be upset?!

Yes if you’re on estrogen cream for vaginal dryness things will look different to if you’re not. She said you looked dry but if you’ve had no symptoms ie stinging, burning and frequent UTIs then she had no need to comment

@Morecatsarebetter - Yes if you’re on estrogen cream for vaginal dryness things will look different to if you’re not. She said you looked dry but if you’ve had no symptoms ie stinging, burning and frequent UTIs then she had no need to comment

But she didn't say that.

Her asking 'are you sure you're not on HRT?' would seem to suggest that my vagina looked like I was on HRT?

Then when I asked her what she meant, she said it didn't matter.

I think I'm done with smear tests at this point. I've been barked at to relax, told there is too much mucus (but the smear must be booked mid cycle), told off because my cervix is apparently tilted to the side...

Of course I'm not relaxed! When a total stranger in a freezing cold office is shoving a metal thing up my vagina, why would I be relaxed?! And there is no doubt some staff are better than others at doing it, and the ones who aren't great seem to blame the patient's vagina for their lack of skill.

Well that’s bizarre isn’t it. You’re at your most vulnerable laying there like that then the person doing the test has to comment on something. I was told (at two separate smear tests) “ooo that’s odd; maybe it’s just you” and “did you know you’ve got a collapsed vaginal wall?” No i didn’t because it wasn’t bothering me but it will now you’ve said that. F useless x

Real!

I'm not a fan of having my vagina blamed for being perfectly normal...

Hang on so she said you were dry then asked if you were on HRT?

It really bothers me that some women aren't having tests that could save their lives because of a random person making them feel rubbish. You have to get over it. Your life is too important.

@theveryhungrybum Are you 100% sure that vaginal estrogen is not any good?
It's used by many women who have had breast cancer.
There are some very weak types available. Is it worth talking to a specialist about this? Some are not up to date.

Most drs are not using metal speculums any more. I've not had a metal one for over 15 years. They use small plastic ones, single use.

Not being unreasonable at all. She could have used a smaller speculum and more lube on it. And just have been more gentle.

Well, if there is a difference depending on medication, then it seems to be a legitimate question. We need to just let medical professionals do their job efficiently, without needing our egos to be massaged as well! And I say this as a confirmed old bag myself 😂

But she could have said the same thing a lot more pleasantly/empathetically and it wouldn't have taken any longer.

I think YANBU OP, she was insensitive, and shouldn't have been so rough with the speculum.

"perhaps then you should take measures to ensure it is more comfortable for different body types and age groups then instead of using a "one size fits all" approach, for example, adequate lubrication and a kinder bedside manner"

Me too. My smear test last year was so awful - didnt even get completed. Due to a really bad experience 7 years ago.

Yanbu and you should complain. First, she tried to blame your age for the fact it was uncomfortable. It's her job to make it as comfortable as possible by using lube and being gentle, if she hurts you she should say "sorry that was uncomfortable", not blame it on you for ageing.

Second she should not have made a comment about the dryness or appearance of your vagina. Anyone doing these sorts of examinations should know that it's a sensitive subject, noone wants to be told that they've got a cunt like a bucket or a dry old boot. Just like you wouldn't tell a man his penis was small or comment on the size of someone's breasts, unless it was absolutely necessary.

I don't think you should have had to put up with the pain or her lack of kindness.

//

This.

How many surgery waiting rooms have that sign up saying "we will not tolerate abuse and unkindness towards staff ..." and quite rightly. This respect and courtesy should be reciprocated. It takes no longer to perform such an intimate procedure (during which the patient feels pretty vulnerable even without any discomfort/pain) with diplomacy and compassion as it would if you'd asked a random passer by to do it for you. This HCP needs to address her bedside manner and pronto.

She asked if I was sure I wasn't on HRT, then said afterwards the smear was uncomfortable because my vagina was dry. <curls up and dies>

Why couldn’t she just do the pissing test without commenting. No wonder the uptake on these tests is so low. I really feel for you. X

And fancy asking are you sure you’re not on HRT like you’d forget. Silly prat x

Honestly I’m genuinely shocked on this thread how awful peoples experiences are and the lack of lube!!!. I’ve only had about 3 or 4 now first one was horrible and they struggled as I think my cervix is tilted and I was in all sorts of positions and uncomfortable for a while after. Since then I must have lucked out by the sounds of it, the one now is so lovely both times I’ve been and not been a problem, lube is used and gives me a sanitary towel too in case of any spotting etc

It really bothers me that some women aren't having tests that could save their lives because of a random person making them feel rubbish. You have to get over it. Your life is too important.

It really bothers me that I've had CIN 1 & 2 removed before and yet have never had HPV, yet the NHS now still put you through the rigmarole of a smear test all to only test the sample for HPV and not bother with testing the cells unless you have HPV.

10% of cervical cancers occur without HPV but apparently that's not important any more.

OP, vaginal atrophy is a thing for many women in their 50's & can result in painful smears.

Would you consider taking vaginal oestrogen/HRT?

Feel free to ignore this if you don't want to answer, but how did you find out you had CIN 1 & 2 if you didn't test positive for HPV? I've just gone through a loop biopsy for my CIN 2 (twice) but as far as I know I had no symptoms and I only knew I had it because of my dodgy smear results.

Absolutely right to be upset.
I find these very uncomfortable. Sometimes nurses have smaller speculum - sometimes they don't.
I had mine done at 45 recently. Never had abnormal one and I think, from now on, also going to take my chances and skip this torture!

It really bothers me that I've had CIN 1 & 2 removed before and yet have never had HPV, yet the NHS now still put you through the rigmarole of a smear test all to only test the sample for HPV and not bother with testing the cells unless you have HPV.

The info online says that all cervical dysplasia is caused by HPV.

AFAIK HPV regresses and can clear itself so may not show up in screenings every 3 years.

Do say if I've got the wrong.