Who decided NOT to take HRT? What is your experience?

[Agree]

Please can menopausal / post-menopausal women share their experience of deciding not to take HRT and how it's worked out for you?

I'm not sure it's for me and am dithering.

My main reason for leaning towards HRT is vanity and not wanting to age quickly

I have a patch, mainly for osteoporosis & heart protection as my poor Gran was crumbling mess with her bones in her late 60’s. I haven’t aged badly but I think that’s genes rather than HRT.

@Ragged

I guess because I don't know anything at all about menopause or hormones except mainstream media that's ever so slightly permeated my consciousness without me even looking - ie Davina type stuff - I was under the impression that HRT could prevent a person feeling the emotional side of old age (throwing in the towel type thinking) and also keep fit and energetic and 'glowing' etc.

No idea if any of that's true or realistic!

My mother never took HRT and barely wobbled around her menopause, she used herbal treatments. She seemed healthy but she did rapidly and visibly age around that time.

I'm in sudden surgical menopause aged nearly 54 and am taking the suggested oestrogen only HRT given by hospital, simply on instruction with no discussion and no thoughtfulness on my part. I'm now thinking around the whole subject and contemplating pros / cons, on a rapid learning curve!

Thanks so much to everyone contributing and especially the shared links... I should have thought about all this sooner but was in some kind of denial / distraction, I'm so un-informed and need to gen up.

reading PP,
feeling fit: equal number of anecdotes about being fit with and without HRT
being energetic, having more energy: 3/4 anecdotes were more energetic with HRT
giving up on life, throwing in the towel: only one mention, someone saying they will quit trying to proceed without HRT

I don't think thread did a lot to answer OP's questions.

We're all different, so I guess there's that.

My garndmother died at 95 without a single wrinkle. My mother in her 70s hasn't got a single wrinkle. Neither do I. I do suspect there is an underlying undiagnosed issue we share that causes some other issues not related to menopause, but aging is down to luck in many ways.

Can anyone describe what happens when you've been on it for a few years then decide to come off it? How does your body cope without it? Or once started do you just stay on it forever?

I'm 56 and haven't taken HRT. I have thought about it so many times, but I can't seem to decide which of the symptoms I have might be menopause related or simply an exaggeration of the ones I already had. I haven't had hot flushes or night sweats or aching joints etc. In fact no physical symptoms I can think of. Heightened anxiety and general low mood definitely. But I always had a tendency to these traits. I am much more volatile than I used to be. My sleep is a bit more shit than it was. - and it was pretty shit before!

I find your post sad.

Your association with older years and becoming a grandparent is dribbling and decrepit is not something I recognise. I am not sure if you are being deliberately ageist and inflammatory or you genuinely believe that… You have swallowed the media image of older women hook, line and sinker if you feel making life style choices - yoga, Pilates, weight lifting, travelling, herbal supplements, warm baths and massage is the same thing as dribbling on a sofa 🤷🏼‍♀️

If you choose to be on HRT - great - but that’s very different from having to because your life doesn’t allow you to take proper care of yourself.

Some women are worked to the bone, have no time for themselves, living at the bottom of the priority line in society - when their bodies finally protest they are shut down with drugs and expected to carry on regardless. That is my view and I see it over and over again in my profession. Holistic care with or without HRT is really powerful.

I'm in sudden surgical menopause aged nearly 54 and am taking the suggested oestrogen only HRT given by hospital, simply on instruction with no discussion and no thoughtfulness on my part. I'm now thinking around the whole subject and contemplating pros / cons, on a rapid learning curve!

@Agree The majority of the posts here aren't relevant for you.

Having had a hysterectomy changes all the 'risks', so that they aren't there.

It's disappointing that you were not given proper, and full, information before your operation.

I think the best thing for you to do is to read as much as you can on the benefits of HRT. There are no cons, really.

This actually lowers your risk of breast cancer compared to all other women (using or not using HRT.)

I will leave a link to a table showing the figures.https://www.menopausematters.co.uk/pdf/Understanding%20Risk%20of%20Breast%20Cancer.pdf

I really wish I'd had a hysterectomy like most other women in my family. It would make everything so much easier now. I'd just do the estrogen only HRT.

@Newchapterbeckons I completely agree with everything you say.

I had a total hysterectomy at 51 with a surgical meopause. I didnt take hrt as hormones seemed to cause ore issues than they solved for me previously. Suffered from sweats/flushes for a while but manageable. I'm now 58 and fine
My mother was different again and still on hrt at age 83, so I would say that your mothers experience will not necessarily be yours.

I didn't have any particular symptoms during the menopause so I didn't even think of taking HRT ... nothing to do with what I looked like. I only ever had one hot flush .. periods stopped... that was it. I haven't slept well for years and years so I just don't think it's linked to menopause. And as a PP mentioned, maybe because my DM had a really straightforward menopause I was genetically programmed the same. Never had the need to discuss it with any medical professional or anyone for that matter.

That's a strange way of putting it.

I went on it and it helped enormously but I didn't want to take it for the sake of it so, at the GPs suggestion, I stopped taking it after a few years to see how things were. Well, all the symptoms returned with a flourish and I couldn't wait to go back on it.

I really think for SOME people it's a miracle drug (it is for me) but obviously if you don't need it or are happy with your symptoms then don't take it.

There are increased risks of breast cancer with the one I take so I made sure I really understood the numbers beforehand. I'm healthy otherwise and not overweight and don't drink etc which are all factors which would increase the risk of breast cancer far more than the HRT

I don't get why HRT can be so polarising, you see it on this thread. I think it is just a personal choice, no right or wrong just what feels best for the individual.

I am late 40s, have regular periods but take HRT. My symptoms were mainly mood (big mood swings that frightened me), dry eyes and just a general constant feeling of being achey, tired and under the weather. It has really helped me.

I get why people choose not to take it. I understand the view that we don't take medication to handle puberty so why would we medicate essentially the reverse of puberty - a natural part of a woman's life.

For me I just wanted to feel better and I do feel better. So I take it, come what may.

I have a question for those on the other side of Menopause though - at some point do the symptoms just stop and you feel 'normal' again? Or do we feel menopausal for the rest of our lives?

@JinglingSpringbells Not actuallly correct as @Agree is almost 54 and the need to take HRT after the surgical removal of ovaries for prevention of health complications is only paramount up to age 51. I have been under the care historically of the Prof. who authored the NICE guidelines at her NHS Complex Menopause Clinic (I'm sure you can discover who she is if you research, so you'll see that she is an international expert of many years standing in her field) and this was 100% what she explained to me.

If a woman wants to take HRT who has had a BSO after the age of 51 for symptoms, then the choice is hers but it's not mandatory for disease prevention. (See also the BMS toolkit for care of women in surgical menopause). This is the same decision that any woman would make regarding whether to chose to take HRT or not at the natural age of menopause.

This isn't true for me at all, HRT makes an amazing difference to my skin, I've seen lines I thought were there to stay vanish from my face. However I agree with you that your decision about taking HRT should be made holistically and not just to avoid wrinkles although it is a nice bonus!

@RedBilledOxpecker I think it varies from woman to woman, my own mum still has awful menopausal symptoms at 71, 25 years after her menopause. My DMIL never had a single hot flush and is fine at 76. My Aunt is 75 and now only has hot flushes at night but it greatly disturbs her sleep and that makes her feel awful.

@JinglingSpringbells I agree that NewChapter is being insulting and seems to have something against women who do use HRT. I do yoga, go to the Gym, I'm vegetarian cook all my food from scratch, I have never drank alcohol or used drugs, or smoked. I do look after myself and my health and using HRT is part of that, not a way to avoid having to look after yourself properly. I do suspect that some women feel that using HRT is somehow "cheating".

I really think it’s a matter of individual choice and weighing up how much any symptoms affect your life and well- being.
I am now mid 60s and have never wanted to take HRT and have managed fine without it. HOWEVER, I was very lucky in that I had a late menopause with barely any symptoms.
I may well have reconsidered if the situation had been different.
Looks wise, I agree with others that genetics play a huge role. However, ultimately my view is that having a ‘young’ outlook is the most important factor of all.

@Newchapterbeckons For pity's sake, I was being slightly hyperbolic which I think was pretty obvious. But as @JinglingSpringbells says, you clearly think that if woman just took better care of themselves, and didn't stick to society's expectations, they wouldn't need HRT and THAT is patronising.

You said: Other women around the world that don’t have access to HRT manage by reducing what they do, nor are they expected to have the energy of a 20year old!! They are grandmothers and are treated as such. You also said, I have accepted the natural course of menopause and made life style changes instead. I trust my body to work with my age and I follow its cues. I am happy that all the generations before just simply slowed down a little at this point, but we live in a frenetic society and insist our bodies perform rather than question why we have accepted such high demands on us.

I may have slightly overplayed what a "grandmother" is in my post but the point is that I am NOT a grandmother, nor anywhere near a grandmother, and I don't want to be treated as such. I am still very much in the active, busy part of my life. Actively parenting two pre-teens, building my career etc. I am not slowing down and I don't want to slow down.

Your disdain for HRT was also in the following, I have not taken it and never will, because I don’t believe in meddling with the hormones/natural chemicals in my body and I haven’t struggled so much I have needed to take HRT.

You then subsequently posted a bunch of outdated research on HRT to highlight what you believe to be the risks, demonstrating that you don't actually have a clue about HRT today, or how it helps and supports many women who need it.

I have zero problem with women who choose not to take it for whatever reason, but I am certainly uninterested in snooty, "well, if you just listened to your body you wouldn't need it" responses, and when I made the decision I looked at current benefits and risks for current versions of the medication, not outdated info.

It's weird how often, when talking about medicine or medical processes for women, there's a suggestion that we are "weak" or "unnatural" for taking advantage of it. Whether that's contraception, childbirth or menopause related.

No one suggests that we should just let our teeth fall out and move to a more "natural" part of our life where we eat only soft food. I don't see anyone complaining about men wanting to take viagra to stay sexually active. We fight to help premature babies stay alive and certainly no one is saying, "well, if you got cancer it's just nature's way of keeping the population down so really, you should not seek treatment but accept death at age 62...."

But god forbid a woman wants pain relief for childbirth or chooses to take HRT for menopause....

...or thyroxine etc

@SebastianFlytesTrousers Where in my post to @Agree did I say that she had to take HRT at 54?

she wasn't told why the decision was made.

The whole point of her post was that she hasn't been given information about the pros and cons.

She's not given much info here at all, which makes it hard to comment.

The crucial part of what happened is missing- ie what age her periods stopped.
I fully understand the cut-off ages for early menopause and the use of HRT- (either surgical or natural) .

If she was still in peri, which is possible at 54, then I'd assume she was given HRT to avoid a hormonal 'crash' after surgery. If her periods stopped years ago, and she wasn't having any meno symptoms then it raises the question why it was prescribed.

None of us know her medical history.

I was just thinking the same. Birth, feeding baby, working/stay at home mum, menopause, it becomes a competition when it's women's lives. Many people can share their experience while having empathy for other experiences and view points but many others will cast judgement on other approaches. HRT was life changing for me. I was fascinated to learn so much about peri menopause and menopause that I had no idea about. I've enjoyed that learning as I've been able to make choices that help me feel so much better and be healthier.
I completely respect others who do the research and decide not to take HRT. However throw away comments that are not informed and are in fact judgemental don't help. I think I might start saying that I am also doing it naturally with my body identical yam extract supplements 😁