Fear of driving

[Hatenewyear]

I've driven all of my adult life. Living in a different part of the country to my family, long drives were a big part of my life. I whizzed around the country without giving it a second thought.

The last couple of years I've noticed I've become more fearful of traffic. It started with not really liking the fast lane on a motorway, then not liking bridges, and it's getting worse.

I now actively avoid the dual carriageway if I can. I struggle to drive across the bridge to see friends. DH drove to see my family at Christmas and I had to close my eyes when he was driving in the fast lane on the M5 near Bristol where there's a huge drop on the other side of the crash barrier. It's getting ridiculous and very debilitating.

I am menopausal and this fear started around the same time as my symptoms started to appear. I'm on HRT but it's made no difference to this fear.

Does anyone have any experience of the same thing? Any solutions?

Thank you.

Yes, this was my first menopause symptom, back in 2019. It was horrendous. I live semi rural, so driving is a must. Most of the lanes are fast and bendy, with no lights at night.

One day, I suddenly woke up, in absolute fear and panic; i couldn't drive my son to school. It just worsened. I tried EVERYTHING; singing, sucking sweets, rescue remedy, deep breathing, propranolol, you name it, I tried it.

Oestrogen did calm things a bit.
Now I've had to come off HRT and my anxiety is back. I am a nervous wreck on a motor way ( partner driving!!) my eyes are closed and I'm clutching the seat: awful!!

I think this is very common in menopause, but I don't know why.

Hopefully things will calm for you, but I absolutely empathise:

This thread was really helpful
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4923767-to-ask-if-anyone-has-advice-for-sudden-crippling-driving-anxiety?page=4&reply=130210986

Thank you, that's very helpful and good to know it is a common symptom.

My mother in law had CBT to help with her fear of driving. Might help?

I can't drive now either, well I can pootle along, but am terrified I'm going to crash and kill someone. Relieved to see it's not just me though.
I have a prescription for testosterone as part of my HRT and that makes me feel a lot better, more powerful and invincible, but it doesn't last for long, or have the same effect every day.

Interesting. I have recently developed some mild anxieties about driving - i'm always worried the car will break down (it is old and knackered) and definitely don't often choose to go fast. Also driving at night I struggle with my astigmatism so the lights are blinding so I tend to avoid doing long distances at night now, which was never an issue before. Now wondering if these are linked to other menopause symptoms...

Same here Op i had to stop driving 6 yrs ago.
I also felt dizzy on buses and a little travel sickness feeling.
Tbh i think it can be a vestibular thing and anxiety.
Roundabouts became my fear.!!
Shame really as i loved driving and my independence.
I can get on a bus now and my anxiety has almost gone.

Yes! I have always been very adventurous and have driven anywhere. My husband is a very good driver, but I feel so anxious any time I drive with him.
I’m glad I’m not the only one.

Piggybacking onto this thread - I have developed a serious aversion to my DH's driving. It terrifies me - I feel like I am on a roller coaster and want to be sick. When he remembers he increases space between vehicles and this helps me but it is so frightening. I know it's down to peri and I'm on HRT but is there anything I can do to help myself?

dont look at the road in front, look to the left perhaps

I passed my test when I was older 50 plus - then very soon after was in a collision where I was a passenger and my husband was driving- then became very anxious about driving and put it down to that. I feel reading this that it may have been menopause related - as I had a fear of driving and being driven
I had hypnotherapy which did help the symptoms but I’ll never know what The actual cause was as I’d never had time to find out what kind of driver I would have been

I am suffering from driving anxiety and when anxious I feel like I am being pulled to the right. I've been feeling panicky and my worst experience was today. I want to slow down and hold the gear stick. It has been getting worse. I am now reading that this could be linked to the menopause. Any suggestions? I have been avoiding roads but I can't avoid driving as I live in a rural area.

@Aberleigh
I wonder if it would help to have a session with a (female) driving instructor?

I started experiencing anxiety driving two years. It first happened in Santorini. I couldn't drive up the cliff edge and back in the UK I got so anxious on an A road and can't go on the motorway r A roads anymore.

I'd driven on the motorway in at least three continents, six lanes in the US, a high shaky pot holed bridge several times in Africa, sometimes with no street lights. I don't understand what happened. I'm not menopausal. I came on this section cos couple of months ago I used medication that puts one in a menopausal state.

I'm sure I remember a similar thread a while ago. Or maybe that was about losing the ability to park in perimenopause.
I've always been an anxious driver and haven't really felt a change in peri but then my symptoms are currently (thankfully) under control. I guess before I started HRT my general anxiety was through the roof which probably made me a more anxious driver too.
I do feel my travel sickness has got worse. Buses are the worst. I've had to get off buses before my stop on more than one occasion because I thought I was going to throw up. The sense of nausea then stays with me for hours. Horrible.

Yup. Driven since my 17th birthday on all sort of roads and distances almost daily. Now hate it and even worse is when my kids are driving- cold fear all the time (esp when I’m not with them).

Yes this has happened to me since I started perimenopause. Have previously driven abroad, on motorways and busy cities. Now I completely avoid motorway driving and when my DH is driving I find myself gripping the seat and getting very anxious- I never did before. Totally baffled as to why peri would cause this but it seems very common!

Me too!

I can absolutely vouch for this. I haven't driven after my surgical menopause at all and it's been years. I freak out if vehicles try to overtake even as a passenger and feel like my whole spatial awareness has changed. I'm on HRT and it does nothing for this no matter what type or combination I've been on.

I honestly think that the only way to deal with this is to keep driving and maybe even take some revision lessons on a motorway. I drive 5-6 hours on my own to see family. I don't enjoy it, but have no choice. I've been doing the trip for over 40 years. The difference now is there is a lot more traffic. And even with hrt my bladder isn't like a 20 year olds so I worry about getting stuck in a hold up.
I'm fine driving on motorways but my spatial awareness isn't as good as DHs when it comes to navigating complex junctions, moving from one motorway to the next. I do it, but feel a bit anxious.

Yep, same!
I'm on hormone blockers as well as having had a full hysterectomy. My spacial awareness is hideous; my anxiety is heightened; it's all dreadful!

One of my friends has only been able to drive again after starting HRT, but she still avoids night driving. Other friends say they're a lot more anxious about night driving these days. I am single, so it would be very inconvenient if this happens to me.

It's only nighttime I have issues with, but I think that's down to wearing stronger glasses and developing an astigmatism as I'm well into peri, possibly menopause (not been a year yet so not technically but around about). Lights do my head in now.

Daytime I cope but I mostly drive roads I know well and occasionally motorways to places I've been before, I've not driven with the sat nav needed for a while

It's even more inconvenient if you live semi rural and you HAVE. To drive.

But yes, all in all, if it happens, it's crap.

Yes, I grew up rurally, so my parents were very keen I pass my test.