The "cost" of menopause

[Diversion]

I am 56 and officially post menopausal having had 2 years without a period. 12 months before this I experienced dreadful anxiety, auditory and olfactory hallucinations which made me feel like I was losing my mind. I took Mirtazipine for this but stopped taking it because of the side efects (weight gain).I have gained so much weight and have lost all of my confidence and self-esteem and feel like an old woman when before my outlook on life was pretty young. I have aged so much since. The whole experience has been absolutely shit, I feel like I have lost all of myself and cannot find my way back. I cannot take HRT for medical reasons, but take supplements and am doing stretches to help my joints (I have arthritis due to old injuries). I really hate how things have changed and really do not like myself very much.

I think it can be a difficult time. For me (early 50's still having periods so likely peri) tiredness and fatigue seem to be the worst. Also brain fog. Just seem to be a bit dense these days. Also some sore joints and losing my confidence. I'm not taking HRT but I do take vitamins and I'm overweight so I need to do something about that.

The thing I try to do (and maybe it's daft) is think of it like everyday over 50 that I am still here I am lucky. I say that because my first serious boyfriend died at 50 from cancer. I watched fatal attraction on tv last night and we went to see that at the cinema together. I couldn't help but think how I sat there with him at 15 (he would have been 18) and he is already dead (few years now). I guess that puts the aches and pains into 'perspective' a bit.

It is shocking though. To realise you are no longer young and a bit over the hill.

I've known several others who died in their twenties (blood clot lungs) and thirties (breast cancer) so I guess I am doing better than them even if I do feel exhausted/invisible/achy/dense.

Hugs to you.

@Angrymum22 that's a good way of looking at it, re the side effects caused by oestrogen inhibitors. I think you make a lot of sense about not going at the same pace and making peace with ageing, although I have some work to do with this. Think it is a time of adjustment in a similar way to puberty.

@Judystilldreamsofhorses I wanted to say than you for your suggestion of Get Fit with Rick from the diet thread ages ago, I've just started doing the work outs again.