Very low mood, paranoia TRIGGER WARNING

[Catsfrontbum]

I have been on Utogesan pills (2wks on/off) and then oestrogel (one pump) for 3 months. 47 with peri symptoms.

i have been feeling lower and lower recently and very paranoid worried about friendships and feeling unliked unwanted. A pain. Scared to talk to friends as worried they might stop being friends with me. Feeling nervous and unnatural in social situations. Lots of unhelpful self talk/chatter in my brain. Suicidal ideation. I won’t do it. But can’t stop thinking that I should.

I am terrified. I have a fantastic husband and kids. A lovely life. I don’t know what’s happening and I feel very alone.

I forgot to ask for help-

i am going to talk to the doctor tomorrow if I can. And ask for help. Anti depressants?

I'm sorry you feel so low.

To be honest, it's probably a waste of time asking for ADs. Your GP would be remiss to offer those without a full diagnosis of depression, and the NICE meno guidance is to get your HRT right.

It is most likely the side effects from Utrogestan.
It doesn't suit everyone.

Change your HRT to something else. You might get on well with a patch (which has a different type of progestogen) or tablets like Femoston.

You also, as you are young and still in peri, have the option to use a 3-month cycle of HRT where you use progestogen once ( for 14 days) every 12 weeks.
You could carry on with gel and Utrogestan, using it for 14 days only every 84 days, or swap to something different. This is in the NICE guidance too.

If you still have feelings about being unliked etc, would you think of CBT or counselling?

TBH GPs are supposed to offer those before drugs for low mood.

But try changing your HRT first.

good luck.

That’s really useful information thank you. I think it is the Utrogesan as the bulls up to coming off is quite full on and then into this mega downwards spiral.

Go see your GP. I felt like this. Had an overwhelming sense of doom I could not shake. I use sandrena gel (no uterus so no need for progesterone) and Venlafaxine for mood. I’m almost myself again.

Thank you. I will have a look at venlafaxine.

@Catsfrontbum I've been on HRT for 15 years. When I started it, practically no one was using gel or Utrogestan. (I see a private meno consultant.) I've gained a lot of knowledge in all of this time, about HRT, from my dr.

Utrogestan is a love/ hate drug.

The advice is after 3 months and feeling rotten, you work on the HRT.
Using anti ds is against NICE guidance and they too have side effects.

You can read about it here- medical site https://www.balance-menopause.com/menopause-library/antidepressants-and-menopause-factsheet/

The first step is to work on your HRT and get that right. You may need more estrogen, so not just 2 pumps but 3 or 4.

What I did, was use estrogen-only for 10 weeks, to get the dose right to control peri symptoms, before adding in progesterone.

Talk to your GP and maybe suggest other options?

I feel for you as I'm exactly the same. I started on patches last Monday and hope they help me. I'm 59, lovely life, no worries etc. I find quite weekends very helpful and don't say yes to everything anymore. I've totally changed. I have a close circle of trusted friends and keep my social interactions minimal. I find i functure better on my own terms and talk to my friends about things. X

I'm 50 not 59!

I just wanted to say, you are not on your own. There are many of us that have been through or are going through this. I had massive paranoia, convinced my husband was cheating on me. I felt worthless & had no confidence. I can’t say it was utrogestan, but I stopped it & had a mirena instead. My mood has been up & down, but I feel it’s situational as I’ve had work stress & a bereavement. What I have found that has helped, I took 3 weeks off work, i exercise enough to make me tired. I walk everyday, rain or shine. I eat better food & have had no alcohol. I also had talking therapy through work, which made me feel much worse to start, but allowed me to realise i was on a hamster wheel & it’s ok to say no.

Thank you for the replies. They are helping me. it is rwally interesting to hear other people’s perspectives and experiences. I’m sat here crying and I don’t know why. I feel so overwhelmed and sad.

Good to know I need to think about the HRT rather than ADs. I just want it to stop.

I am a social animal and feel better when I see my friends but at the moment I don’t have the confidence to do or say anything to people I have been mates with for 20
years. I’m so worried they will say something like I’m being pathetic and need to pull myself together. I’m scared to be alone.

It's the utro OP.

I was in such a state on utro, I threw out half my wardrobe in tears, telling myself I was fat and too old and ugly and no one would like me anyway. Suicidal ideation too.

Had the coil fitted and my life is back to normal.

Good luck.

That’s really reassuring about the coil- I have been really reluctant to have that as I didn’t fancy having it fit!

Hi. Im new on here. Im so sorry to hear what a horrible time you're going through. But at the same time, kind of relieved im not the only one struggling. I am crying uncontrollably, have severe stress knots in my stomach which are so painful, im constantly doubled over. Severe irrational rage, and the most awful fatigue. I started HRT on Thursday so obviously, this will take some time to get into my system, but how to cope in the meantime? Any suggestions gratefully received.

Sorry to hear you are feeling so awful. It’s terrible.

exercise and getting out of the house helps me. I like a class at the gym because that gets me out and gets the endorphins pumping. I did it this eve and feel a lot better.

I am going to make myself get out for a walk this morning. Unfortunately, I cant do much exercise as I have many spinal injuries. Thankyou so much for your reply. x

Sorry you're feeling this way, the Utrogestan can have severe effects! My first month on it I didn't think I would cope with another month. I was also on one pump oestrogel.

Now I've completed three cycles and the last one somehow was amazing - my specialist increased my oestrogel to 3 pumps and it's made a huge huge difference. One pump might be too low to offset the ustrogestan, it made me feel horrible until I increased it.

Please take care of yourself and keep us updated.

Utrogestan also made me feel like this. I switched to cyclogest pessaries and feel so much better.

So I spoke to the meno specialist GP at my surgery and she has advised to-

finish the 12 day cycle of 2 tablets (200mg) again in 2 days which is the schedule. Then after 12 days reduce down 1 tablet a day and keep up with the oestrogen gel. She said that I had to do that as I had been using the gel over the last few days while on the break so needed the dose to make sure my womb lining sheds effectively.

Then I keep taking utrogestan at the lower dose for one month and track how I feel
on it.

It’s 2/3 days before I break that the low mood really hits and then tapers off after 4 days. So today o feel more like me but also quite nervous and scared what will happen in a few days. I feel awkward and shy with my friends. Not really me.

Thankyou for all your replies. I have started with 2 pumps of the gel and am taking 2 of the tablets. I only started a week ago so need to give it a bit longer to see how it all affects me. Keep posting ladies. So good to hear all your experiences. x

I'm sorry to hear how you're feeling OP (and everyone else). I'm in the same boat. I am seeing my GP on Tuesday. I have been on parched about 18 months, in 49 and peri. I have been feeling so so low, flatlining, no joy at life or towards anything. And migraines. Woeful migraines. And angry. St anything and nothing. I can't get a grip on this new "me" and I want it to stop.

I can align my migraines to my cycle which is now 22 days!

I have moved house so this is a new GP. I am hoping she's sympathetic and will help me.

Good luck. I'm reading this thread with interest. X

@Anyfeckinusername

You mentioned you have migraines, my hrt specialist told me to stop patches immediately if they brought on migraines and swap to gel/spray and ultrogestan, something about the patch is dangerous if they bring on migraines.

Just thought I should mention it x

@Catsfrontbum your mood will definitely be the ultrogestan, I could have written your post. Have you tried using it vaginally? Makes a big difference only taking one a day consistently and taking this way as opposed to orally.

Give it a week, bet you feel a lot better x

You mentioned you have migraines, my hrt specialist told me to stop patches immediately if they brought on migraines and swap to gel/spray and ultrogestan, something about the patch is dangerous if they bring on migraines.

@Bringonthesunforthewashing That seems an odd instruction from the specialist.

It's tablet form of HRT that carries a very slight risk of blood clots so women with migraine are advised to use transdermal HRT (that's patches , gel or spray.)

Are you sure? I'd be questioning that as it goes against the advice of the Migraine Trust who say that it's tablets that are the risk, not patches.

@Bringonthesunforthewashing
@JinglingSpringbells

Thanks both, appreciate the flag. I actually thought similar just after I posted and will check the sheet tonight. I'm in with the GP tired at morning so I'll go over all this with her.

Thanks again, appreciated!

One pump of gel isn't much. I would up that too, to 2 or 3 pumps. Give it three months before thinking about antidepressants. It's taken me a couple of years to get things right but 3 pumps of gel, 1 utrogestan daily plus 50mcg sertraline and I think I'm getting there.

Hi OP, you sound like you are having a reaction to Utogestan. I think I you need to change specialist. It is irresponsible to keep someone in something that is causing suicidal
ideation. I say this as someone who cannot tolerate Utogestan. I go to a specialist here in Ireland and she said you stop immediately if there are negative impacts like severe anxiety or depression.

I have now switched to Duphaston and take it daily in a low dose. I can tolerate it much better. My dr also told me that a daily low dose is better than 2 weeks on 2 weeks off as your body does not have to deal with changing levels of hormones constantly. I hope this helps.