Very low mood, paranoia TRIGGER WARNING

[Catsfrontbum]

I have been on Utogesan pills (2wks on/off) and then oestrogel (one pump) for 3 months. 47 with peri symptoms.

i have been feeling lower and lower recently and very paranoid worried about friendships and feeling unliked unwanted. A pain. Scared to talk to friends as worried they might stop being friends with me. Feeling nervous and unnatural in social situations. Lots of unhelpful self talk/chatter in my brain. Suicidal ideation. I won’t do it. But can’t stop thinking that I should.

I am terrified. I have a fantastic husband and kids. A lovely life. I don’t know what’s happening and I feel very alone.

Thank you for the messages- I am back to feeling terrible again today and really feeling quite lost and overwhelmed.

I think I’m gonna stop HRT for a a bit and review and in the meantime to get a specialist appt

it’s so fucked isn’t

@Annasgirl I'm in Ireland also, would you mind sharing where yoour specialist is (if it's in Leinster). I've just moved back to Ireland and am starting fresh with everything.

Definitely stop! This isn't something we need to "plough through". I hope you feel better soon.

Thank you. I feel
quite relieved that I will stop.

I had something of a near panic attack today in traffic in the car. (Not like me) the only thing that helped was my DD was with me so I kept it together just about.

@Anyfeckinusername I’ve pm ed you the name

How are you today @Catsfrontbum? - hope you're feeling better. Thinking of you, I am also on a rollercoaster of emotions x

Oh Gods. I've been feeling on the brink of this for the past few months but this week I feel completely put of control. Anxiety. Stress balls in my stomach. Wanting to cry. I've never had any issues before and am pretty well balanced. Work is slowly taking a nose dive and it's been noticed. Senior, and passing up on an opportunity because I now think I can't even do the role I am doing and everyone thinks I am rubbish.

Male dominated.

Trying to rationalise it's simply hormone changes.

My blood pressure is high too and I am healthy and fit.