DD off to university tomorrow

[Sortmylifeout52]

DD is off to uni tomorrow.
I thought I had my emotional self under control. Wrong! I'm a blubbering wreck! Her room is all packed, teddies in bags, baked beans and spaghetti all packed and I feel so sad.

Don't know how I'm going to say goodbye on Sunday, but I will have to.

Hormones feel really shifted and unsettled and I'm on HRT!

The first night my DD went I waved her off smiling and spent the night crying myself to sleep in her bed! I was fine not long after. Hang in there it is a difficult time.

Thanks @peppermintcrisp trying so hard to hold it together, but It's so hard.

Okay, I can do this!

God it's tougher than I expected! 😢😢

It's really, really tough, and so untalked about. Whoever planned women's menopause and kids leaving home at the same time definitely wasn't female!

Sending an unmumsnetty hug @Sortmylifeout52 I dropped my DD off at uni yesterday and have barely stopped crying. She's my second to go - DS went last year, and it took me about a week to stop welling up every time I laid a table for one fewer child...!
It does get easier - and then before you know it, they are home for Christmas.

I'm not at all the emotional type, but even I have been up and down over this. I welled up a little bit while walking round Aldi the other day when I realised I only needed to buy three portions of things and not 4!

Deep breath! How far away is she going?

(Mine has just left for third year... abroad. Aaargghh)

She's gone to Bath; 3.5 hours away.
Bloody awful. It's like a bereavement ( hormones are just brutal !!) 😢😢

I warned mine I would probably be briefly tearful at the “goodbye” (I was) but not to be too concerned. They should be excited about university and I would be fine. I’ve tried to keep myself busy and one week in it’s been fine so far, although I was upset on drop off day (although mainly had myself in hand). Be brave and look forward.

I tried at leaving time, but I couldn't stop a few tears. I am
genuinely excited for DD, Bath is beautiful and she's doing the course she wanted to do. She's independent and smart.

Just got to keep busy.
I thought I had my hormones in check with HRT, but clearly not!

I've got a load of decorating to do, a that hysterectomy needs doing, new job needs acquiring , my two indoor bunnies, a 15 year old DS, but still..

I went to a uni 3 hours away but I went home every two weeks cuz I missed my mum 😁 it must be so tough, I never really thought about how hard it must have been for her but I know she wanted me to live my life and achieve everything I wanted.

No uni experience but my dd left home at 19 to move 3 1/2 hours away,ds moved out a year ago and I still miss him.
Made worse by me not driving due to menopause anxiety and social anxiety so buses and trains are too crowded for me.
It is difficult and life feels empty for a long while.

@whatisforteamum yes.. I moved hours away from my parents aged 36! DD was just 3. They must have been heartbroken but I thought I was doing the right thing at the time.

I now have menopause anxiety and have to take a train to see my parents every few weeks.

It's tough.

Mine are both away in a different country for uni. It’s actually ok - so much less to do sort of makes up for it. Plus the fact that they are having such fun. It will be fine after a week or so.

I would say this has nothing to do with hormones or hrt. Your dd leaving home effectively is a big thing and it is ok and normal to be upset.

@Mumof1andacat yes you are right.
Struggling alot today.

I'm still a year away and keep crying at the thought of it, now we've been at all the open days 🥴

My twins are 5 and I dread this day 🙈 normal.

Oh I remember that time well. 13 years ago I drove the 3 hours (from just outside Bath ironically), to drop DD off. I kept it together and as soon as I got back home and stepped through the front door I cried the most snotty ugliest cry. I allowed myself a week to wallow then started to put a more positive spin on it. Although when she arrived back at Christmas with a suitcase full of washing and a huge appetite I may have shed a tear or 2 again😀

Going through the same thing OP, saw my youngest DS off last week and feeling very weepy! Can’t get used to him not being around the house, it feels very quiet and strange.

On the plus side, I did the same thing with my other DS 4 years ago and it really does get easier with time, it’s a joy to see them start their adult lives and the time we do get together is lovely. What you’re feeling just now though is absolutely normal- allow yourself a good few months to grieve the loss and adjust.

My dd moved into halls 2 weeks ago. I have been very emotional about the prospect for the last year.

What has helped is that it is genuinely so exciting. She's at a great uni in a vibrant city doing an amazing course.

Also, my job is so stressful and I still have my ds to dote on at home. He misses her so much so has been quite snuggly with me. 😊

I'm not sure you can blame this one on menopause 😉. It's an emotional time - perfectly normal to be a blubbering wreck when your kids are flying the nest. It will be easier come January when they have driven you mad over Xmas!

Dropped DD2 off last week.
Not gonna lie, the first few days were horrific.
She's my second and last to go.
Have to say that today I've only cried twice so it does get better, bit by bit 💐

DS1 just went back to Notts as a third year. DS1 we dropped at York last week for the first year. We are officially empty nesters. We went round Tesco in half the time and spent half as much today, and switched off the spare freezer in the garage as we don't need as much food.
It's very strange and very quiet. They're doing great but I miss them.

Dropped DD off last weekend and thought I was doing remarkably well, until I burst into tears in Lidl because avocados were on special offer and I put three in the trolley for her and then realised I might not see her until Christmas. Did the same all the way round every time I walked past something we always bought for her. DH thought I had gone completely bonkers.