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Menopause

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Original poster

Any menopausal secondary teachers out there?

63 replies

Biscuitsneeded · 12/09/2023 19:36

I would like women to empathise with over being menopausal and in the teaching profession! I'm finding I have just about enough patience for the kids, but none at all for all the rubbish. My mouth keeps opening and saying things it probably shouldn't.

OP posts:
BCBird · 12/09/2023 19:39

Ha ha
I hear u.

BCBird · 12/09/2023 19:41

Apparently my school are writing a menopause policy. Strange it taken till 2023 to think about this. We must just suddenly appeared. Fed up.of being moist🙄

Original poster
Biscuitsneeded · 12/09/2023 20:47

I can only imagine my Deputy Head's face if I asked if there was a menopause policy.

Realistically though, what can they do? I'd love to hear what others have had put in place. I would like no days with a full timetable (not going to happen) and also a staff loo nearer than a 3 minute walk away. There is one but the 6th form keep using it and I'm not going to be the one person that kicks up a fuss.

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BCBird · 12/09/2023 20:51

If it's a staff toilet inwould definitely say something. The 6th form have more time than u. I would not regard this as kicking up a fuss. Awaiting update re menopause policy

JanglyBeads · 12/09/2023 20:55

We suddenly had a menopause policy in July!
Days off not counted toward sickness absence Shock

Sortmylifeout52 · 12/09/2023 20:56

Not a teacher, but a menopausal TA. I've had enough and looking to leave.
All the irrelevant meetings I have to sit through. Listening to stuff that doesn't help me in my job Running from pillar to post and only inhaling my lunch.

No patience for any of it!
Yes I know, get a new job.
I will, once Ive had a Hysterectomy, due to bastard fibroids eating into my body. I live off painkillers daily.

Plus menopause, dreadful.

Original poster
Biscuitsneeded · 12/09/2023 21:04

@Sortmylifeout52 that sounds horrible, I'm sorry.

Re. the staff loo that the 6th form keep using, it's complicated. My building only has boys' loos in it. If I run down the stairs from my classroom and into the nearest building, that's the 6th form block. They have their own loos upstairs by the study room but there is one loo downstairs right by their common room - I can absolutely see why they pop in there rather than going up the stairs. I could indeed ask the Director of 6th form to read the riot act about it being a staff only loo, but in reality I am the only staff member that goes in there because other subjects do have better options nearby/in their own blocks, and my colleagues are younger and seem to manage with walking back to the staff room when needed.

OP posts:
Original poster
Biscuitsneeded · 12/09/2023 21:06

So if I start insisting on that one loo being staff only, it will be obvious it's coming from me, and given all the 6th form's mums are probably also menopausal it's all a bit too public and obvious.

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Original poster
Biscuitsneeded · 12/09/2023 21:07

Wow, days off not counted as sickness absence?? Some people would take the piss.

OP posts:
MrsHamlet · 12/09/2023 21:08

We have a menopause policy.

I cracked and cried on my (male) head last year and told him that I couldn't cope with the unplanned stuff that kept coming out (because my hod is chaotic and can't keep to the calendar) because my brain is soup.

I'm not a flapper in general.

It started a conversation which then went to the well-being group who took the two unions' menopause policies to the governors, and we now have one.

We now have fans in classrooms of staff who request one, they've made a former student loo in one building into a staff one (because the nearest one was more than a flooding pad away), and we have a means of summoning someone to take over a class if we need it. There's also talk of a staff shower.

Original poster
Biscuitsneeded · 12/09/2023 21:09

I had such bad sleep last night, sweating like a pig all night long, I really considered not going in today at about 4am when i had to get up at 5.30 anyway, but it's only Week 2! Didn't think I would be forgiven. I'm never off so probably nobody would mind at all but it didn't feel doable.

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Original poster
Biscuitsneeded · 12/09/2023 21:10

Mrs Hamlet that's interesting. Thank you. Summoning someone to take a class would be good, albeit slightly mortifying.

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JinglingSpringbells · 12/09/2023 21:11

Maybe not quite what you asked @Biscuitsneeded but are you suffering from urgency (ie needing the loo fast and more often?)

If so, you should see your GP and ask for topical vaginal estrogen which is amazing and will help, restoring the bladder lining and making it all easier to hold.

Likewise- and related- if you're suffering with other symptoms, would you consider HRT?

MrsHamlet · 12/09/2023 21:11

I'm very open about it.

I have the windows open in the depths of winter and I wear sleeveless dresses all year round because the flushes are grim.

We had a GP parent come in to speak to staff, which was useful too.

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 12/09/2023 21:11

I'm a perimenopausal secondary school teacher. I'm pretty sure we don't have a menopause policy, but it's a girls' school and a massively female-heavy staff. We do now have our first male Head in the school's history though. I wonder what his view on having a menopause policy would be...

MrsHamlet · 12/09/2023 21:14

Biscuitsneeded · 12/09/2023 21:09

I had such bad sleep last night, sweating like a pig all night long, I really considered not going in today at about 4am when i had to get up at 5.30 anyway, but it's only Week 2! Didn't think I would be forgiven. I'm never off so probably nobody would mind at all but it didn't feel doable.

My crying on the head was the week after I took 4 days off (I'm never off) because the insomnia was killing me. I called in sick at 3am on the second night of not sleeping.

I ended up at the GP, who wanted to sign me off. I took sleeping pills instead. And then started HRT, which has really helped.

Sortmylifeout52 · 12/09/2023 21:15

Biscuitsneeded · 12/09/2023 21:07

Wow, days off not counted as sickness absence?? Some people would take the piss.

Yes, sounds too good to be true!
I mean, I could be off every other day ( the way things are going!)
The making of a definite piss take!!

Shite sleep is brutal.
Total empathy and solidarity on that one.

JinglingSpringbells · 12/09/2023 21:15

@MrsHamlet Would you not consider HRT?

JinglingSpringbells · 12/09/2023 21:16

Ah, missed your post - xd @MrsHamlet

MrsHamlet · 12/09/2023 21:17

Biscuitsneeded · 12/09/2023 21:10

Mrs Hamlet that's interesting. Thank you. Summoning someone to take a class would be good, albeit slightly mortifying.

It's at the behest of the staff who - as a pp has said - suffer from flooding and urinary urge, but anyone can use it.

A pregnant colleague had to use it last term when she needed to throw up. Someone senior just comes and takes over. There's no "shame" to it.

Sortmylifeout52 · 12/09/2023 21:18

MrsHamlet · 12/09/2023 21:08

We have a menopause policy.

I cracked and cried on my (male) head last year and told him that I couldn't cope with the unplanned stuff that kept coming out (because my hod is chaotic and can't keep to the calendar) because my brain is soup.

I'm not a flapper in general.

It started a conversation which then went to the well-being group who took the two unions' menopause policies to the governors, and we now have one.

We now have fans in classrooms of staff who request one, they've made a former student loo in one building into a staff one (because the nearest one was more than a flooding pad away), and we have a means of summoning someone to take over a class if we need it. There's also talk of a staff shower.

The summoning of a person to take over the class, in my school, would be the bloody TA! 🙈

Original poster
Biscuitsneeded · 12/09/2023 21:19

And Mrs Hamlet that's exactly how I feel. Newish (nice) young HoD wants to change everything overnight. I just can't process it all and feel overwhelmed and panicky. That's just not me. My brain fog comes out as intransigeance and complete resistance to change, and I must be driving her mad, but I can only cope with one change at a time. My whiteboard has been swapped for a TV which you can't freeze without some complicated manoeuvre that never seems to be the same twice, so I can't send any messages as the kids need my screen to be on to work from. I have asked for help several times and been shown what to do but it doesn't behave when IT are not there! I feel dismissed and ignored when I say things because I am old and grey and unfashionable. But ironically my classroom relationships have never been better, I have more empathy for kids who are struggling/naughty/rude and I feel I am winning battles in terms of getting through to them, and kids like my teaching even if my HoD thinks it's old-fashioned. But none of that counts because I can't suddenly switch overnight to doing things I know to be pointless, and even if the will were there, the bandwidth isn't.

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MrsHamlet · 12/09/2023 21:20

@JinglingSpringbells it's better than it was but still not great. I need to try different HRT, I think.

We've also put up some info on menopause symptoms in the staff loos (male and female) and I feel like people are more open to talking about it.

I know that would horrify some people but I knew nothing and really thought I was losing my mind. It was frightening.

Original poster
Biscuitsneeded · 12/09/2023 21:26

@JinglingSpringbells I'm in the process of getting some HRT. Slow progress due to not being able to phone a doctor and sit on hold at 8.30am on a weekday, or take a phone call 'some time between 10 and 12 or 3 and 6'! Tried in the holidays but had a catalogue of errors with blood tests etc.
Yes, I need a wee many many times a day! Never been great, but worse than ever! I didn't know the vaginal gel would help with that, thank you for the tip.

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Piggywaspushed · 12/09/2023 21:26

We have a menopause policy which involves waiting patiently while we flood through our clothes, back to the wall until some colleague in the department who is miraculously not teaching arrives to cover us totally not grumpily and then we slide out the door telling quizzical children we'll be right back .

Oh and opening windows, and fans. Just like Covid, it zaps the fucker away.