Any menopausal secondary teachers out there?

[Biscuitsneeded]

I would like women to empathise with over being menopausal and in the teaching profession! I'm finding I have just about enough patience for the kids, but none at all for all the rubbish. My mouth keeps opening and saying things it probably shouldn't.

@Biscuitsneeded yep... been there, done that!

It happens in class too. I couldn't remember "Shakespeare" one lesson. I did actually say to year 10 that I was sorry but it was menopause brain fog and could they please remind me who wrote Macbeth!

I've since spoken to my (younger, male) hod and explained that I need him to stick to the dates we've agreed and give me the things I've been promised because I don't have the mental agility to deal with that on top of the classroom stuff.

I think it helps that I'm quite well respected in school and that the things I was asking hod for were actually things that should have been happening anyway.

Haha PiggywasPushed, hence my question - what can they realistically do? I actually had a bug (unrelated) last term and had to leave a lesson as I suddenly realised I was going to throw up. I asked new HoD to come in and cover briefly which she was very nice about doing, and very solicitous, but as you say, how do you explain it? Mrs X is going to sit with you for a few minutes 8W, while I just chuck my guts up? I was vague about having to go and collect something but it's not ideal.

I think we are our own worst enemies saying people would 'take the piss'. You have to trust staff. I'd like to be able to take days off when I am in agony or haven't slept without fear of punitive attendance polices. Our shoal used to be very laid back over attendance but it's suddenly got all HR on us and now people get interviewed and fill in LOAs for leaving 5 minutes early , for example, or arriving 4 minutes after the morning bell.

Flexible working is also mentioned in our policy. No one knows what that means in practice for a classroom teacher.

I think we got our policy from one of the unions.

I also discovered today that there are now sanitary items in the ladies' staff loo. That's new.

Yes, no idea what flexible working could be.

Anyway after last night's no-sleep extravaganza I am off to bed. It can't be worse! Good luck tomorrow, everybody.

@Biscuitsneeded if it isn't better, take the day and call the doctor. In fact, take the day and do it anyway.

We only have those in the loo used by the Important Office Staff on a corridor otherwise occupied by 3 male SLT members.

So much empathy for this post.

Well done everyone for carrying on. I just left the profession with a sense of defeat.

@Biscuitsneeded You can buy vaginal estrogen now at Boots, Superdrug etc.

It's called GINA. From the GP it's called Vagifem.

It's a tiny pellet.

They evidently ask some Qs, like are you over 50 and post menopause.
No idea why they ask as neither is necessary- it's for women in peri too- and from a GP there aren't these 'constraints'.

You can also get Ovestin which is a cream (inserted) but that's not OTC.

Give it a whirl- it can take a few weeks and you need to keep using it (for life, sometimes.)

If you have a fridge or freezer nearby, get two of the gel pads that you can put into pillowcases in top of the pillows.
Chill them, and then use one to sit on (it really helps to cool you down, assuming you will have fairly thin clothes on anyway). Alternate as necessary.
If I desperately need a wee mid-lesson, I use the girls (having knocked and made sure there is no-one in there (shock, horror, THBT - teachers have bladders too)! I just style it out if someone comes in (looking downward so as to respect privacy, saying 'I'll be just a second' when I come out to give my hands a quick wash.
Brain fog - insist changes are minuted or emailed (only fair anyway) so you have something to refer to.
Luckily I've had a hysterectomy so don't have the horrible prospect of flooding to deal with.
I'm not perfect, BTW, just sharing some of the things that help me - and I've only recently gone on HRT as I'm so sick of dripping with sweat having tried to do the menopause the natural way. (I always said I wouldn't, having had lots of hormones for endometriosis and then fertility issues.)
With staff, I'm pretty blasé about it and just refer to myself as a woman of a certain age. With students I don't necessarily say what's going on but might say I'm really hot.
Sympathies to anyone suffering on this thread!

I’m allowed to teach sitting down if I need to (finding it impossible in practice with most groups) and I have a fan. No understanding about the brain fog or why suddenly telling me I have to do a whole new pointless thing that would take hours and makes no sense can see me snapping or crying.

The million emails saying don’t let x sit near y, can you move z to an end of row seat, a fainted on Sunday look out for her looking pale, so and so is allowed to leave early/have five minutes out of class/go to the toilet but hasn’t got a pass yet make me rage or weep. I just cannot hold all these bits of information in my head and feel overwhelmed, resentful or upset or all of the above.

estrogen has helped flushes a bit and aches and pains but done nothing for the chronic insomnia and feeling like I’ve developed dementia.

What have their mums got to do with it?

@HoliHormonalTigerLillyTheSecond their mums are relevant because they will be attuned to the signs. If they are told they must not use the staff loo because teachers need it, and then see Ms Biscuits going there every couple of hours, they will work out who requested this and why. I don't mind telling a class I need a fan because I'm too hot, but my bladder being unable to hold on is more info than I care to share with the 6th form!

@swallowedAfly you sound just like me. My sympathies!

No toilets should be shared by staff and students. It's safeguarding 101!

@Piggywaspushed it's just an individual toilet, not a room with cubicles. And it's 6th form. But yes I take your point, and actually that would be a good argument for me to make in reclaiming it!

I think it still shouldn't be shared - we have designated staff/visitor toilets in our theatre area - although they are single cubicles.

You shouldn't really care if the 6th form see you using a loo. Going to the loo every 2 hours is perfectly normal.

Are primary teachers allowed to join in or just secondary?! I’m struggling as well :(

I'm with you all.
This time last year I was sobbing in my lessons and really struggling. I would stand there with tears rolling down my face in front of my year 11 and tell them to carry on and not to worry. I mention the menopause all the time in lessons. Only yesterday I couldn't get the word out that I needed and I told my class that they will have to accept that I really do know what I'm doing most of the time and that my brain has been removed and screwed up and shoved back in my head by the menopause. I feel I have to be open about what it does to me.
One of the classrooms I use has windows for 2 sides. It was over 30⁰ in there last week. Windows are nailed shut ffs.

Hrt has really helped with the rage and the sobbing and I still haven't murdered anyone, so that's good.

@Shinyandnew1 Of course! Many of the frustrations and difficulties, such as not being able to leave the room, will be the same.

I am considering telling my head just how shit I am currently feeling. However she is new, ten years younger than me and a high achiever. I also want to tell her that that was me ten years ago but the past two years have completely kicked my arse.

I am on HRT. I am still a sweaty, achy, foggy mess.

@ArticSaviour I know nothing about HRT, having not yet managed to get that sorted out, but my more knowledgeable friends would say if it isn't at least sorting the hot flushes, you might not have the right dose...