Fighting for hrt

[Jaymar139]

Hello..I've had some lovely replies from people over the past few weeks who have helped me at a time when I don't know what to do or where to go next ..I'm 47 and have been having menopause symptoms for a few years but the last 6 months it has affected my life so bad it's scaring me ..I first saw my doctor 3 weeks ago and I walked into the appointment a mess ..I cried to her and told her my symptoms ..I'm waking up at 3 in the morning drenched in sweat so I sit in my garden to try and escape the horrible anxious episode I'm waking up with,my anxiety is so bad I'm shaking throughout the day with hit flushes , palpitations,my sex drive has completely gone and I've got vaginal dryness ..she said hrt will help and she said I needed a blood test ..I had had a blood test 3 weeks before for something different so she asked the lab to take some hormone results from that and she would see me again in a week..she even sent me home with a leaflet all about hrt ..she called me a week later and said your bloods are normal but you can still go on hrt and she asked if she could call me back while she looked into which hrt to give me ..2 days later still no call back and by this time I just wanted my nightmare to end ..I chased her up crying down the phone telling her I'm worried about how I'm feeling and my state of mind ..she then said I've spoken to my gyno friend who has said your not going through menopause it's pms ..I was so shocked I couldn't breath ..it made me feel like I was being dramatic .I said I've had pms all my life I know it's not that ..she wouldn't listen to me and didn't even talk to after that about any of my symptoms..I said I need help and she gave me the mini pill ..the ones you can buy from the chemist ..ive been bounced backwards and forwards since then each time hitting a brick wall ..I was referred to what was supposed to be a menopause clinic ..I got there yesterday to be told by the doctor she can't help me because they only deal with gyno not menopause that's my GPS job..she also said if my periids are not as heavy at my age I should be having biopsy and scans ..all these doctors I am seeing are older women..my hair is also now falling out ..stress or menopause I don't know ..I'm very very scared that this is life for me now ..I don't know what to do ..I feel numb .if it wasn't for having this forum I don't know what I would do ..

There's a good Facebook group called Totes Merry Peri that has a section on how to talk to your GP about HRT/menopause.

This has clearly been very upsetting and disorienting; do you have anyone you can talk to about this in real life who can help you step back and approach it in a very straightforward and calm manner - for example, it may help to go back to your GP stating the NICE guidelines on HRT which basically say if someone is over 45 and symptomatic then that's enough for diagnosis, no blood tests are necessary, and hot flushes, anxiety and loss of libido are all symptoms.

Good luck.

Good god this is distressing to read. Poor you. How awful.

Can you afford to go to a private menopause clinic/practitioner? I believe they can prescribe for you if appropriate.

Also I understand the blood tests to see if you are peri are unreliable. As your levels fluctuate during the day. I read that from a menopause expert but can't remember who.

Just keep fighting it will get better. Can't believe the battle your having though!

I’m so sorry this is happening to you. It’s a disgrace that there hasn’t been more research done - and an even bigger disgrace that so many GPs are blissfully unaware of their own ignorance.

I felt so utterly let down by my gp, after she prescribed a bloody podcast to help me relax when I declined her anxiety pills.

When I finally managed to get myself in front of a menopause specialist I was so nervous reading the exact same list of symptoms that my gp had airily dismissed, but she told me it was a classic cluster of symptoms pointing to oestrogen deficiency. Hrt has been brilliant.

I wish I could recommend her but I’m not in the UK.

Are you on Facebook? There are some wonderful menopause groups with great tips, facts and support.

Gardeningidiot told me about the nice guidelines and I was sent a link so I printed it out..I spoke to the gyno doctor about it and sdhe just smiled at me and said that's my gps job.. I've been speaking to the manager of the surgery who is a lovely woman..she said the doctors had a meeting about my complaint yesterday and it was decided that my doctor did everything right and they would have diagnosed me the same.. I told her about the nice guidelines and sge said tbh I haven't read them.. She has booked me another appointment with another doctor for next Monday but I don't have much hope.. My mom went through the menopause in her early 40s and her bleeding had stopped my the time she was 50.. I. Lost her last November and there's no other women in my circle who is going through it..

Unfortunately I don't have the money to go private or I would. I don't do Facebook either.. I'm holding out for the appointment on Monday and then I'll just have to take it from there I suppose.. I'm yet to show my actual gp the nice guidelines and see the reaction.. That's another thing I don't understand I was offered antidepressants..I've got to stay strong for my 7 year old which is hard with how low I feel.. My bloke is worried about me because he can see the drastic change in me but he's good to talk to and he's there for me..

@Jaymar139 the surgery manager may not be medically trained at all.
Is she really claiming that none of the doctors at your practice are aware of the nice guidelines?
You need to research and decide exactly what prescription you want BEFORE you go on to see them again

The NICE guideline is pretty clear that over 45 they should prescribe HRT based on symptoms only. T’s not acceptable for a GP to be unaware or unable to look them up (different for manager)
Insist you want to try HRT for 3-6 months then review and go with a clear idea what you want - oestrogen as patches or gel and progesterone tablets unless you already have mirena coil.

When i first went to the gp with my symptoms I didn't realy know much about hrt..it was only when I came on here 3 weeks ago and spoke about my situation that I fully understood about everything...so when I go into my appointment Monday I am more prepared.. But when I told my first doctor about blood tests for my age not being reliable she didn't want to know.. She put me on the mini pill saying I had pms.. When I asked her what to do about my vaginal dryness and lack of sex drive she still said its pms..it was only when I cam on here that I was advised about nice guidelines and different types of hrt..i just hope I get sdome help Monday..

This was me, went on for years, but the beginning of last year I was at a point of driving into a tree I was so low. Someone recommended to my husband Louise newson clinic, it took a while to get an appointment, but within weeks of taking the things I was prescribed I felt so much better, within 3 months I was back to feeling happy and much more me. It does cost, but I've cut back on other things, as I just can't face being back to how low I got to. I could try again with my doctor to save money, but I honestly don't want too, several practitioners at my surgery just let me down time and time again, and I can't forgive them.

Have you read the davina book? It's really good. I had a similar experience with the first gp I saw who just watched me cry and was totallly unsympathetic and fobbed me off with Prozac. I then asked for a gp who is good with the menopause and had a completely different experience. She explained it all and gave me options and even took the time to write it all down. I'm on the waiting list for a mirena coil and once those levels are ok I'll get tested for what else I need. I appreciate this is not an option for you with your gp practice sounds shitey. Can you move gp's? The guidelines are once you are over 45 you should get HRT. I'm so sorry this is happening to you when you will be feeling low anyway. It's despicable.

It makes you feel so alone doesn't it..if it wasn't for me finding this thread I don't know what I would do.. I'm angry because of how I've been let down but the worst part of it for me is all the professionals are women.. Ive been struggling with my symptoms gor a few years but they wasn't as bad as they have been the past 6 months.. It took a lot for me to sit in front of a gp which I had never seen before as my male gp was on holiday and break down like I did.. I always though I was a strong woman and I've had to deal with some horrible things in my life but I've always fought and got through it but this has made me poorly.. I was a happy person.. Me and my partner cycle every day we laugh and we do things as a family but the past 6 months I've lost myself.. I don't laugh anymore, I don't look forward to anything anymore, I don't feel sexual anymore.. I feel like I've lost my feelings.. I'm a nan to 3 grandchildren and I've also got a 7 year old daughter and I just haven't got the patience with them at the mkment and it's breaking my heart.. The thought that I've explained all this to a female gp and been told I've got pms because she got her gyno friend to diagnose me is realy scary.. I'm not suicidal but I don't want to live the way I'm living..nit sleeping is not helping.. I just can't afford to go private.. I'm so glad you got the help.. ❤️

I haven't read the davina book but I will now you've mentioned it.. I used to speak to my mom who want through menopause in her early 40s.. It nearly destroyed her marriage and her periods had completely stopped at 50.. She passed away last year so I miss talking to her about it.. She was my best friend. I won't even talk to the receptionists at my doctors because when I cried to them about how wrong my doctor was and told them how I wanted to see someone else she told me your blood results are fine your not going through the menopause.. This was a receptionist..its disgusting.. I'm going to go to this appointment on Monday with all the knowledge and advice I've had from you all and if I can't get anywhere I'm going to change doctors tho that coukd take a while I've been told by my surgery.. I have to fill out paperwork and it has to go back and fourth before I can change..

Gird your loins.

Start with:

Good morning GP.
I'm here to request a prescription for HRT. I'd like oestrogen patches at 50 and utrogestan tablets 100.
I would also like a tube of Ovestin for my vaginal dryness and soreness.

I have the nice guidelines with me, if you are not sure that I am entitled to this HRT.

And if necessary:

Your gynae colleague hasn't seen me
I am 47 and I am entitled to non test based HRT

Good luck OP. I have amazing GPs who suggested HRT to me when I went in with urinary incontinence.

Your so right.. Maybe try and get through the appointment without crying woukd help as well. I haven't seemed to do that yet but I think your approach is one I think I'm going to use..ill let you know how I get on Monday.. Thankyou..

Good luck OP put your foot down and don’t leave without a prescription. Would it be possible for you to take your husband with you for some moral support.

Thankyou.. He has been with me to every appointment bless him.. He can't believe what's happening either.. He said at my gyno appointment yesterday you are offering her antidepressants but you won't give her something her body naturally produces or is not producing properly now.. He Actualy said to her as a man I can't believe women are having to feel like they are lowering themselves asking for hrt.. Your making them feel worse than the situation they are already in. You should be ashamed.. He's seen me crying, waking up sweating and not sleeping and worse of all screaming and wanting to smash my kitchen up.. He's defiantly seen me at my worst this past few months.. He's still here though I don't know if I would be if I had to put up with me at the moment..

I've cried on my GP this year twice too so don't worry about that, so long as you get your message across. 💐

@Jaymar139 pleased to see your new thread - but not to learn that you are still fighting !

You will get plenty of support on here - we are all behind you its absolutely awful to hear how you are being treated.

I agree with PP that you may as well just go in next week and state what you want !
Nothing to lose .

Also be sure to mention that your mum's menopause started early.

And definitely ask for the Ovestin cream to sort out the vaginal dryness, in addition to taking HRT. You're allowed both.

And when it comes to paying for your HRT prescription (because you WILL get your prescription this time, with all the knowledge you now have and all the positive thoughts we're sending you) be sure to set up the annual pre-payment certificate so you only pay £19.30, no matter how many HRT medications you need.
Look up HRTPPC for more info.

And good luck

As much as having to do so annoys the shit out of me I was going to suggest this too.

Oh sorry should have read your more recent update. I don't understand the Doctor at all here. You're symptoms are clearly pointing towards perimenopause and if they think it's something else why aren't they testing you for other things.

That's terrible OP I'm so sorry to hear you're going through all of this.
7 years ago, I went through exactly the same process and I was feeling suicidal.
After 3 GP appointments where I had failed to get HRT, my lowest point was 3am drenched in sweat again, standing on the patio barefoot in January. On that occasion I was literally thinking which motorway bridge to jump from 😪. I really had lost the will to live.

My 4th appointment was finally successful and since then, I have been on HRT patches. What a difference that made.
I think it's disgusting that it is made so difficult to get this treatment 😡.

I really hope you're successful with getting HRT eventually.💐 Unfortunately for some of us, it's a lot harder than it really should be.

Can I suggest that you use the phrase peri menopause rather than menopause when you speak to the doctor. Or peri for short if it feels like too much of a mouthful.

Menopause refers to the point when you’ve had no periods for a full year.

Peri menopause is the time before that, and it is a much more ambiguous time frame, with clusters of symptoms and no clear behavioural definition.

Doctors don’t get much training on this (a bit on periods, a lot on pregnancy, but that’s about it for hormones) but unfortunately they do seem to get trained to dismiss and disregard patients.

Arm yourself with a list of awkward questions. Doctors need to get you in and out in a timely manner. But instead of picking up on the go now signals, ask another question and write the answer in a notebook.

What’s the difference between pms and peri menopause?
So why has my pms suddenly got dramatically worse? Is that related to my age?
Will these anti depressants affect my hormones?
Have these been tested on women who are peri menopausal?
How can a blood test be reliable if hormone levels fluctuate?
mIf my mother had an early menopause does that increase the chances that I will? So could I be peri menopausal now?
How long before menopause do the symptoms of peri menopause begin?
So how do you diagnose peri menopause?
etc

@Begonne thats brilliant! I can see the GPs face now 🙄😩😖

In your shoes I would change GP practice. Look for one that has at least one GP with a special interest in women’s health. Your current practice is stuck in the dark ages. Good luck OP