How to feel like me again?!

[LovelifeHa]

Because I don't, I feel like utter shit!

I'm 45 - diagnosed as Peri in December and was put on one pump of gel per day plus progesterone. No improvement so have just upped to two pumps and progesterone has been replaced with double dose of mini pill (which I was on anyway). I also take vit B12 complex and Magnesium (all 3 types).

But I still feel like crap. I really used to love my job but now I'm very 'meh' and doing the bare basics (which will bite me in the arse sooner or later, its not the kind of role that you can really 'coast' in for any length of time).

I don't seem to feel anything about anything anymore - no enthusiasm, no joy, no energy... Half the time I want to crawl under a rock and just hide - or cry at the shitshow it feels my life has become. No hot flushes as such but rarely sleep well and often wake up at 3am with my mind going like a whirlygig about things which I then get really anxious about.

Having worked really hard to lose weight, I'm now starting to put it back on (not sure its the HRT, more to do with chocolate/cheese/wine consumption!) which I'm really unhappy about but can't seem to summon the motivation to do anything about it. I used to love walking and running and was relatively fit. Now I'm really unfit and I can't be arsed to do anything about that either.

Life can be full on and there are other stress factors but its really difficult to separate out what is general stress and what is caused by the bloody meno. I feel like life is passing me by, like I'm looking at it through a lense and its somehow not really happening to me - does that make sense?

And I hate it, I really really hate it but I don't know what to do about it so posting here for advice really and to find out what has worked for others to help them push through because the thought of feeling like this for the next 5+ years is just too horrible to contemplate!!

Just saying OP you are not alone. This could be me exactly. I’m on HRT and GP is thinking about whether I should try testosterone too. Has that helped any other posters ? It’s not libido that is a problem for me -it is the brain fog and lack of motivation and lack of pleasure in anything I used to enjoy that I would love to solve.

I’m through the menopause now, but if I could go back I would pay to see a menopause specialist. I had many unhelpful visits to GP where it was left up to me to decide what I wanted to try, so in the end never tried anything and spent a long few years feeling crap.

I feel exactly the same, I’m 53 and so sick of feeling meh about everything, I’ve got zero energy and just want to run off. Got 2 hormonal teenagers in the mix which isn’t helping either. No advice I’m afraid but you aren’t alone!

I also feel meh.
Im beginning to wonder what the point is, not in a suicidal way, but what’s the point in anything now my kids are adults who I rarely see. Why did I choose this life when I could have gone in a different direction.

Taking my vitamins in the morning reduced the wide awake with thoughts spinning, as did quitting alcohol and having a regular bedtime routine.

Once your estrogen levels have improved you should maybe add testosterone (my GP prescribed it following a blood test showing low levels) .
It’s only been a week since adding it to my patch (100mg) and mirena coil but I am beginning to feel better.

I felt exactly like this cdnt be bothered with anything even my lovely horse I went to dr got blood test and I was borderline diabetic so now I do a class a day plus swimming 40 lengths ride my horse eat low carb most of the time I’ve lost 10lbs in 5 weeks and I’m feeling better more me. I have no bloody interest in anything HRT dudbt work for me I gained weight felt even worse

Thanks all, such a relief to know I'm not alone!

@Parsley1234 I try and eat low carb most of the time too which definitely helps.

Has anyone found any particular vitamins to be helpful? I've read lots about vit d, different 'wellwoman' combinations etc but to be honest, I find it all a bit confusing!!

I had this when I was menopausal. I found out it is called Anhedonia.

Even the nice things that before I had always enjoyed, left me just meh.

It’s a hard time to get through and it’s scary that the menopause can alter you so fundamentally. I seem to be out the other side and can take pleasure in the small things. But I am a changed person. That’s why I’m now divorcing.

I second the advice to see a menopause specialist. I didn’t and just kept going back and forth to the GP, trying different things with little success. Time has been the only thing that worked for me.

I would also remind you that what works for someone else won’t always work for you. Our biochemistry is so individual, not everyone finds the thing that works.

I take magnesium hylochoric acid iron B12 and I just started using this drink 10pm which sends you to sleep fair to say I was cynical but it does work x

I’m on vit B complex for energy.
Vit D with K2 for energy too, and due to lack of sunlight.
A good quality omega 3 for joint pain.
And magnesium L-Threonate for meno brain.
I have found these helped, but I’m now trying HRT to see if that will give me the enjoyment back 🤞🏻

Stopping alcohol completely massively helped me - it's life changing at 50. Sleep well, much less anxiety, found my joy again - alcohol numbs the bad and also the good! Also able to deal with stress much better, more productive at work and have got my excitement about life back.

You are definitely not alone, it's so frustrating. I'm same age as you and on 1.5 sachets of sandrena 0.5mg - I think similar to 3 pumps of oestrogel plus the dreaded sequential utrogestan which I personally hate.
I'm alright some weeks/months, others not. This month was a shitter and I've just come on after the whole month feeling PMS.
The only thing that I will say is that I've had alot of external stress come along when I started HRT so cannot entirely blame peri or HRT - I'm pretty sure if that external stress would just fuck off, I would feel a million times better.

that should read 3 sachets of 0.5mg...brain farts today!

Vitamins are nearly always a lot of expensive nonsense. Eating healthy and including nuts might be helpful. Might need to cut out caffeine after the morning and minimise alcohol. Exercising and being outside is good. Having podcasts to listen to when waking in the night can be distracting from worrying about not sleeping

Cold water swimming is my lifesaver but I did just nod along to everything you said. I cut alcohol out, reduced caffeine, recently gone Gluten free which has made huge difference to my gut health. Eating nuts & seeds as breakfast snacks, intermittent fasting, exercise daily and very very slowly losing 1-2lbs a month! But it’s hard to find joy in stuff and I’m so tired a lot, that could be mix of month post covid and hot night sweats. HRT did help when I was 45-48 but not so much now hmmm.

I can offer no answers, only more solidarity. I'm 47 and feel the same. I get no joy in anything any more. I just want to be left alone to read in peace.

when I am feeling like this, especially the sleep thing I increase my oestrogen.

I am now on 2 pumps of gel, 2mg of tablet and daily progesterone.

This is after everything came crashing down again without warming a couple of weeks ago.

I seem to be on an even keel now and the doc is monitoring my oestrogen levels every few months to check they are not too high.

Thanks for all your lovely responses, definitely given me some food for thought although I'm not sure I could face cold swimming @Summer76swimmer

Definitely need more of a dietary/alcohol/exercise overhaul. I'm not so bad on the caffeine front, just a few cups of tea in the morning - exercise is the killer - I KNOW that I need to do it and I know I'll feel better for it, I just need to find the motivation to actually get on with it in the first place. @eurochick gosh yes, being left alone to read in peace currently sounds like my idea of heaven!

For exercise just find something you enjoy? Even walking listening to an audio book half hour a day is a start plus tops up your VitD. I’ve successfully got a few women the same age hooked into cold water swimming or dipping it’s a fab dopamine hit, and I reckon 90% of the people I see are doing it are women over 45 😂that has to tell you something.

Oh I know exactly how you feel and it’s awful, I’m so sorry. However, please do persist with trying HRT and other solutions as you can feel better, I promise, it’s just trying the combination of things that work for you.

For me it’s daily 4 pumps of Oestrogel (seems like a lot maybe, but 2 pumps worked initially then symptoms came flooding back), regular exercise (2-3 times a week gym or running) and less alcohol. I used to drink most days (not excessively, often only a glass, sometimes two) but now I generally don’t drink in the week and drink less at weekends. I haven’t tried testosterone but wouldn’t rule it out if things start going downhill.

I wouldn’t say I’m completely back to my pre-peri self - I still have days where I wonder what the point of it all is, and still struggle much more than I used to with focus and motivation, but things are much, much better than they were a year or two ago when I wondered what on earth had happened to me. Good luck - it’s a minefield for sure, but there are ways through it.

No advice sadly, just a bit more solidarity.

I'm 52 and feel pretty much the same. Just want to be left alone in peace.
I'm on Hrt and have been for a while. I'm just worried this is as good as it gets!

Re exercise I found it hard going tried this and that but then I joined a really lovely spa with fab classes lovely pool not over run and I go every day it’s my sanctuary yes it’s pricey but the well being feeling is second to none

Solidarity. I'm 43 with a 5 year old. All I want to do is be left in peace to read 😆 Symptoms started about a year ago and I went to see a private menopause specialist (luckily my mum
paid) who put me on progesterone only for now and is monitoring. The year before symptoms started I'd got into the best shape of my life - running, Pilates, lots of energy and motivation. Then within the space of a few months I gained three stone and lost all motivation. I have very slowly managed to lose a stone over the last 9 months and have recently forced myself to get up early and do some strength training and yoga on alternate days during the week. It does help me to feel better but it's a slog. I feel I have no purpose and can barely be bothered to leave the house most of the time. In the past I've always been good at setting and reaching goals. Now everything feels like an effort.

My life went downhill fast in my forties. I had no idea why. I've suffered with mental health most of my life so put it down to that. I had no idea I was peri.
I felt suicidal as all the joy was sucked away. I put my night sweats down to the tablets I was taking and my erratic heartbeat due to stress.
I was then told that it might be due to menopause so I was given HRT.
Nothing really changed for a good six mths. I put this down to really low hormone levels. I also started testosterone 6 mths in.
It's taken a year for my moods to get better. Not all of my symptoms have disappeared but HRT has taken the edge off and I no longer feel completely joyless every day.
Hang on in there. This period of our lives is so damn hard both mentally and physically.