How to feel like me again?!

[LovelifeHa]

Because I don't, I feel like utter shit!

I'm 45 - diagnosed as Peri in December and was put on one pump of gel per day plus progesterone. No improvement so have just upped to two pumps and progesterone has been replaced with double dose of mini pill (which I was on anyway). I also take vit B12 complex and Magnesium (all 3 types).

But I still feel like crap. I really used to love my job but now I'm very 'meh' and doing the bare basics (which will bite me in the arse sooner or later, its not the kind of role that you can really 'coast' in for any length of time).

I don't seem to feel anything about anything anymore - no enthusiasm, no joy, no energy... Half the time I want to crawl under a rock and just hide - or cry at the shitshow it feels my life has become. No hot flushes as such but rarely sleep well and often wake up at 3am with my mind going like a whirlygig about things which I then get really anxious about.

Having worked really hard to lose weight, I'm now starting to put it back on (not sure its the HRT, more to do with chocolate/cheese/wine consumption!) which I'm really unhappy about but can't seem to summon the motivation to do anything about it. I used to love walking and running and was relatively fit. Now I'm really unfit and I can't be arsed to do anything about that either.

Life can be full on and there are other stress factors but its really difficult to separate out what is general stress and what is caused by the bloody meno. I feel like life is passing me by, like I'm looking at it through a lense and its somehow not really happening to me - does that make sense?

And I hate it, I really really hate it but I don't know what to do about it so posting here for advice really and to find out what has worked for others to help them push through because the thought of feeling like this for the next 5+ years is just too horrible to contemplate!!

First time I’ve joined support groups but hoping it will help understand how I’m feeling … lousy. Don’t recognise myself. Been on escitalopram 5mg 4wks but upped to 10mg 2wks ago, no improvement so added hrt last week, mixed patch oestrogen and progesterone. How long do I give to feel human again?

Help please with the anxiety

Thanks for all the responses. Might definitely see a Menopause specialist, its just the pits. I've been away for the weekend with DS and DP. Lovely weekend, really lovely and then yesterday I just copped the arse about nothing - a really, really tiny thing and I almost saw red over it! Afterwards, I was like 'who the f*ck am I?!' Poor DP was very understanding but looked a bit shellshocked and I was horrified - it was like some weird out of body experience where I knew I was being unreasonable but just couldn't stop it.

Then the worst hot flushes last night followed by what felt like an anxiety attack :-( I hate this so much and I'm terrified of the impact on DS and DP if I can't get it together

I understand. I often wonder who I’ve become.
Give those two pumps time to kick in. If it doesn’t work tell the GP you’ve got absolutely no libido and that it’s causing problems at home, then ask for testosterone.

Thanks @DustyLee123 - funnily enough, the one thing that hasn't suffered (yet!) is my libido but if things don't improve, I think I'll go down that road

Same here, I’m 5 months in with hrt, 46 years old. Started on 50 Evorel and ultrogestan, then increased to 75 Evorel when I wasn’t feeling better.

Now I’m constantly spotting so GP has lowered my oestrogen back down to 50 and I’m beginning to think my anxiety / low mood is during my 14 days of progesterone balls.

Been prescribed sertraline but I’ve haven’t started them because it just all feels hormonal and irrational. Starting a complete house refurb and extension as well which isn’t helping 😞.

Sorry I’m not helping, but you’re not alone and I hope sharing experiences might offer some ideas.

No advice but I'm feeling the same. 46 with a 4 year old with adhd. Serious brain fog and no enjoyment out of anything. Just want to be alone.

I'm only glad I found this thread as now I don't feel so alone

@Ikeepontrying , its a killer isn't it. I'm a single parent to DS 10 (shared care with ExP so I do get a break but the 'heavy lifting' still falls to me) who is going through a tough time at the moment - poss additional needs related. Glad this thread is helping in some small way - I think its just a relief to know that others feel like this too and that we're not alone

I found a multi print approach helped
(I’m 54 and think I through the worst of it).

Do you have any friends you can meet up with, like really found this helped. A good laugh with friends does wonders.

Exercise

hobbies, I like to swim and go to the cinema

alcohol definitely does not help

some of my friends found a low dose anti depressant helped.

For me something that really helped was giving up all caffeine and decaf drinks, I felt much calmer, it did wonders for my anxiety and I feel more on a even keel.

I’ve had the coil for close to 8 years and two pumps of Ostrogel for nearly 5 years.

I had to come of Ostrogel for 2 months last year due to an operation and the night sweats returned immediately. Luckily they went again a couple of days after I resumed the Ostrogel.

so basically thinking about all aspects of your life as well as taking the medication.

i hope this helps.

Multi prong approach.