So confused, don't know my arse from my elbow!

[Misskittycat16]

Sorry, it long!

I've started a few threads on my mental health, not sure how to link them. Basically I had a breakdown October 21 and been breaking down ever since.
Crippling anxiety, palpitations ALL day no matter what I'm doing and insomnia, very close to suicide a few times. This past year and a half has been the worst of my life.

Seems like my experience is more common than I realised.

I am convinced it is peri, I tried the Oestrogel and the Utrogestan at the beginning of last year for 2 months and because I was still having regular as clockwork periods and I didn't think it was helping so I stopped.

Tried many, MANY Ad's, months and months of wanting to die and no improvement.
I have settled on one now and feel a bit brighter. Still have to take Amitriptyline and Zopiclone for any sort of sleep.
I also started back on the gel and the progesterone, I am on my third month. For the most part I feel better but the palpitations and insomnia are horrific. I have tried splitting the gel to 2 pumps am, 2 pm, tried 4 pumps am, I'm still getting palpitations all of the time. I have tried progesterone orally and vaginally.

I can't work out what to do next.

I am having therapy, walking the dog and generally tying to help myself but these palpitations are driving me insane.

Any help would be much appreciated.

Or maybe I should stop HRT altogether and see if that makes a difference? I am very over trying to get my meds right and going through the emotional rollercoaster.

I get the palpitations, mine is an ectopic beat, so it feels like your heart stops and starts again.

I've always had them before my period but they are non stop now I'm on HRT.

I know its easier said that done, but I just ignore them and breathe through it.

I had an EEG etc done years ago and all is normal. I did stop all caffeine 12 yrs ago and I find alcohol or anything sugary exacerbates it too.

Would patches be better for you? It would remove the anxiety of all the pumps and application of gel.

I love my patch. It goes on and I forget about it.

I started in Jan on 50 and went up to 75 in March and I'm considering asking to go up again at my next review to see if I can override the horrible exhaustion that I get from the utrogestan.

Have you tried beta blockers for the palpitations. if you're having lots of ectopic beats @Moredarkchocolateplease you should be on something for them. i was found to be having 18% ectopics after a 24hr ecg and put on carvedilol and am waiting for cardiology.

@urrrgh46 no I was offered them but as a long time asthmatic I didn't want any more medication. They don't stop me doing anything or keep me up or annoy me now so I just get on with it.

But when I first got them just after my second child was born, I was freaked out entirely so I can understand the OP being cross.

It's taken many years of meditation and yoga and exercising through it to come to terms with them.

I havé a benign arrhythmia which peri has made much worse. The gel wasn’t great with me as I was having peaks and troughs and it was affecting my sleep.

Currently I am on 75mg patches, odd pump as I need it, vaginal progesterone for 12 days a month plus vaginal oestrogen cream. This makes me feel ‘normal’, get a reasonable admit of sleep (5/6 hours), makes me just achey and just a bit fluttery of heart.

don’t be afraid of trying different types, it really is so personal. The difference in my mental health (and my poor DH) is astounding

Sorry you are having such a rough time.

Have you thought about any of these?

1 Mindfulness (apps like Headspace)
2 Meditation
3 Yoga
4 Tai Chi
5 CBT

It sounds as if your whole 'system' needs calming and relaxing and some of the above focus on your breathing.

Why are you on 4 pumps of gel?
Might it be worth trying 2 (even if you tried that before it may be worth reducing now.)

Thank you all for your replies. Sorry to hear you've all experienced something similar. It's not pleasant.
I do try to ignore them/ distract myself but it's very hard at night, one of the reasons I haven't fallen asleep without the aid of a cocktail of drugs for over a year, it's so debilitating.

I have propranolol but to be honest it doesn't really do very much. I don't drink alcohol and limit my caffeine to 2 cups a day but I am an absolutely bugger for sugar/carbs. That is definitely something I can work on.

I've had BP/ECG- all normal. I am type 2 Diabetic.

I have wondered about the patches, i think that would be my next step. I have an appointment early May but I'm not sure I will be able to wait that long. I tried 4 pumps of the gel this morning and I have been so jittery all day. I will try 2 tomorrow. My head is scrambled. So difficult to determine what is Mental health and what is ( if it even is!) peri.

I really appreciate everyone's replies.

I do meditate, have regular reiki. Sometimes find it hard to meditate when my eyes are pulsing along with the beat of my palpitations... it's ridiculous lol

I'm having therapy via a secondary psychiatric service.

I have been in flight or fight mode for a year and a half, I have fought so hard to recover, I am feeling better on Duloxetine and Amitriptyline but these physical symptoms and the insomnia are literally doing my head in. I think I would cope better if my sleep was better but it's a bit of a chicken and egg situation

I know you have said you have diabetes which must present another issue too.
Just throwing this out there- there is a lot of new research into gut health and how poor gut health can impact on sleep.

[[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC6290721/

[[https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2018/mar/19/is-your-gut-keeping-you-awake-at-night

Thank you for taking the time to reply I will take a look at those articles.

@Matchingcollarandcuffs are you able to say more about peaks and troughs. I'm allergic to the patch glue but I was ok on patches. I'm having a rubbish and confusing time on the gel and progesterone. Sleep is terrible and everything hurts!

The sad fact is that not much is known about the menopause in general and how it affects women. And everyone is a special case. Doctors are just going to hurl medications at you until one helps, and they might, but they might not either.
I would recommend doing some research on a more holistic approach, that includes diet and fasting. Take a look at Mindy Pelz on Youtube, she can be a bit full on, but has some good advice for menopause and perimenopause.

How old are you OP?
I did read your other posts and you have a young child.

I know you say you are having therapy- what kind and what is it for?
Do you work?

I'm not sure about reiki- there's no evidence is works.
You might be better off putting the money towards some yoga, 1:1 if you need it to get started, to work on your breathing, which is known to help stress and menopause symptoms.

@Cheesedoffandgrumpy this is what I'm in denial about/don't have the energy for. My diet is dreadful and it's something I need to address.
Thank you, I will take a look at Mindy Pelz.
I completely agree about nobody really knowing for sure what is going on with women's hormones in general! It's up to the individual to sort themselves out.

@JinglingSpringbells I am 46 in August. I have a 5 year old and being a mum has triggered so much in me. It's really sad.

I am a reiki healer so I do believe in its benefits but I can 100%appreciate it's not for everyone. I don't really pay for my sessions so that's a bonus lol. I am very happy to combine a medical and holistic approach to things.

Yoga is something I've thought about, I haven't been in a place to even attempt it but maybe it's something I could try.

Thank you for your suggestions, they are much appreciated.

@Moredarkchocolateplease I hated Utrogestan too - it made me feel like a zombie so I went on Evorel Conti patches which provides both hormones in one go. Maybe try a switch?

I did link to the research on gut health/ diet and sleep.

Is your diabetes linked to being overweight? There's a huge amount of info on these sites. And it's real science - not 'alternative practitioners.' It's been done at King's College, London University.
If your diet is bad, all the pills in the world aren't going to sort out your health issues.
There are podcasts here on sleep, as well.

[[https://joinzoe.com/learn/category/healthy-living

@JinglingSpringbells yep I read the articles, very interesting and to be honest not surprised. I need to source a good but affordable probiotic, I will have to make some changes to my diet slowly because I will be overwhelmed otherwise but I hear you.

Yes I am overweight, as 1 consultant put it "im like an organe on a stick!" All my weight is round the middle, classic type 2 diabetic

@JinglingSpringbells gosh I'm so sorry I didn't mean to offend you, I'm guessing you are a medical professional. I shouldn't make sweeping generalisations about the medical profession.

@Misskittycat16 I just wanted to say that I agree it's individual and appears to almost be up to each of us to keep trying and tweaking u til something works- but honestly it comes at a time when you are least likely to be able to do that!

I am part of a menopause in person group. We meet with a nutritionist and a yoga teacher monthly and we make small sustainable changes from a range of whatever we've been discussing. We encourage each other - even if it's just I'm thinking of making this change type of space'. It's definitely the way to go for me.

Goodness, no, you didn't offend me at all! It was just a 'nudge' to the articles in case you'd missed them.

Just re patches and gel, I am also allergic to elastoplast but find the transparent patches fine.

With the gel I just found I got palpitations and felt sick almost straight away but the achiness, brain fog, low mood and bad sleep weren't any better at all. The patches make them much better.

I have always had awful hormones though - but the vaginal progesterone has been ok. I could never take the mini pill due to migraines.

Do keep trying, it's amazing how much better I now feel on the patches

@stilldumdedumming, yep I think that's what I was trying to get at, it's such a muddle to untangle by yourself. The group sounds amazing. I might look and see if there is one in my area. Other people may be able to throw a different perspective my way and maybe my experience may help others. I am a talker, everyone knows everything about me ha!

@Matchingcollarandcuffs thank you. I am definitely going to speak to my dr about trying the patches, I'm still in the fence about which way to take the progesterone atm, it's trial and error isn't it.
Funnily enough my hormones have always been a bit crazy when I think about it. I'm pleased to hear the patches have helped you.