Is this perimenopause, and can I hope to regain my working life after it?

[WanderleyWagon]

I suppose I'm hoping for some reassurance here from the MN hive mind...!

I am 50 and several years in to worsening brain fog, forgetfulness, anxiety, aches and pains, fluctuating mood, weight gain, and a real worry that I am actually not going to be able to maintain my professional working life.

I feel as though I have aged a decade in the last couple of years.

I do a fairly challenging job and I've generally been able to do tasks well, juggle several things at once and be competent across the range of things I needed to do, though I've always been quite a last-minute person (have recently been diagnosed with ADHD).

Now it feels like everything is falling apart. I used to get hyperfocused the nearer a deadline got, so if I had a hard deadline I could be confident of getting the task finished. Now the routines I used to depend on for getting things done despite my ADHD are failing me. I'm forgetting tasks, missing deadlines and rapidly losing confidence in my professional competence.

Can I actually hope for this to get better? I've requested a temporary adjustment of duties at work, but that comes to an end this summer. I'm wondering whether I should go part-time. Have other mumsnetters found that (peri)menopause caused chaos at work, and did it ever get better? Did you get your 'work identity' back afterwards?

I have found that a lot of women have retired early due to the effects of peri menopause. It’s a shame that they weren’t supported better.
‘Could you afford to go part time ?
Are you considering HRT ?

I was in a very similar position with the combo of ADHD and peri.

I've found HRT has made a huge difference. Have you tried it?

For the aches and pains I’d suggest you take something like cod liver oil.
For the brain fog I’d suggest you try the magnesium L-Threonate, taken at night, you need to be taking 500mg.

HRT solved this for me.

Recently diagnosed with adhd and peri. Started HET, complete game changer!

It sounds very typical of the affect lack of hormones have on many women, i got to a point where i was forgetting simole words. The worst of my symptoms came post menopause, but HRT started approx 6 yrs post has my brain back.

The only thing which helped me was HRT.
Also writing everything down.
I was lucky in that my work place allowed me to attend several menopause meetings where I learnt a lot about the subject. I learnt that many, many women had given up careers and that was extremely sad and worrying.
I had to fight to get HRT and suffered for over 12 months before a different doctor prescribed it. After speaking to a friend she also went on HRT after being at her wits end.
There are many symptoms of peri menopause most of which are not talked about. The sessions I attended were a real eye opener and explained lots of things to me.
If it wasn’t for the fact I have to work, I’d have probably left my job too before I was put on HRT.

I had all of this. Plus being incredibly tired but unable to sleep.

HRT sorted it all to the extent I went for (and doing well at) a promotion.

Another vote for HRT.

i do have a friend who has had to give up work post-cancer while she is on oestrogen-stripping medication which has left her with mega menopause brain fog and muscle aches.

Have you asked about HRT?

Well it's worth giving HRT a try, isn't it? A lot of women do find that it helps considerably although for some you have to give it 8-12 weeks. Personally I felt better within 3 days of using my first patch.

Please go to your doctor and discuss. How progressive is your employer, some are now cottoning on to the fact that they need policies and procedures to support women employees at this stage of their life.

I think it's worth considering your options.

My peri coincided with my dad being placed on end of life pathway right at the outset of the pandemic. I ended up taking a sabbatical to look after my parents and when I went back to work (particularly inflexible environment) I pretty much had a breakdown inside a month.

Took some time out and am now in the early stages of self-employment, which means I can work in a way that suits me without having to deal with BS office politics and the like which I found exhausting (undiagnosed but strongly suspect I also have ADD).

I felt like I was losing my professional grip when peri kicked in. I quite quickly went on HRT and within 4/5 months I felt huge improvements. After 9 months I was positively flying at work again.

1000000% need to speak to got GP about some HRT. It makes the world of difference.

The thing is it’s not necessarily just about loss of current cognitive ability. The loss of your hormones may have a long term effect on your brain. I see the sort of symptoms you are having as a warning to get treatment (HRT) to ward off even bigger problems in old age. I think in time studies will show loss of hormones (if it can have such an effect now, what else does that do) is a factor in dementia and is partly why so many more women than men get dementia than men.

My brain fog was the first symptom to disappear when I started taking HRT. Like you I had started to wonder if I could continue in my demanding job.

HRT helps a lot!
And judging by your username, I wonder if you, like me, used to be terrified of Sneaky Snake.

HRT. Don't fear it. Don't suffer for too long from the symptoms. And it is suffering.

The symptoms of menopause I mean. It's not a competition to see how tough you are. You have enough shit to deal w

I turned down a big promotion because of the brain fog, concentration issues, not as quick to learn things as I used to be. Went on to HRT, and a few months down the track actually felt confident enough to approach boss about the promotion as it was still open. I've been doing the job a year and loving it.

Give HRT a try, the likelihood is that it will help you immensely.

You need HRT, ASAP. You should have started it a few years ago.

Also: get your thyroid tested! Properly with all 3 levels, not just TSH

I had all the same symptoms but turns out to be underactive thyroid, the medication for that completely sorted me out

Thank you so much to everybody who has responded. I can see there is consensus!! :) I feel amazingly comforted by you listening to my woes. Thank you really.

I have spoken to my GP about HRT. She has been reluctant to prescribe partly because I was still menstruating and partly because I had just started ADHD medication. I've heard from a couple of friends that NHS definition of menopause is fairly strict and that they don't want to prescribe HRT when someone is still peri?
But if it's made such a difference to so many of you, I will definitely press her on this again.
Financially, it would be difficult to go down further than about .75 of full time, and in my field that would still mean I'd basically be working a full-time job - I don't think it would give me enough headroom :(

@WanderleyWagon no completely wrong. HRT is prescribed during peri menopause to help the transition through. Most women start HRT while they are still having periods.

@WanderleyWagon I went to my GP with insomnia, anxiety, brain fog, panic attacks, hot flushes and night sweats....still menstruating but irregular (sometimes 10 weeks without a period, sometimes 2 bleeds in less than a month).

I had a Mirena coil fitted for progesterone having previously got on with it well as a contraceptive. Started on Lenzetto spray and now on Oestrogel.

I also take a lot of supplements.