How to get out of a menopause funk?!

[petitdonkey]

That’s the only way to describe it really.. I am 47 and on hrt patches. They have taken away the physical symptoms of hot flushes and dryness but I’m left feeling…. Empty I guess. Everything feels like a huge effort and I just can’t be bothered to do much- I used to be super sociable and in half term with the kids I’d pack things in but I can’t seem to be able to find the energy or inclination .

has anyone hit upon a magic supplement or solution? I don’t think I’ll be only one feeling like this.

Oh god, this is exactly it. A funk. Feeling empty. Nothing gives me any pleasure any more.

I have just got my HRT but haven't started taking it yet as I'm worried the oestrogen is going to cause my flooding to return so am delaying it until a trip abroad shortly. But I'm dismayed to hear that it might not have any affect on my mood.

I could have written your OP. It's absolutely - a complete funk. No physical or mental energy for anything, I just feel sort of detached from everything. I remember someone on another thread said she just wanted to sit and stare at things, and that's exactly how I feel. Sadly I don't have any remedies - I exercise, I have a lovely family and a dog I adore, I eat healthily, I keep the weight down, I rarely drink, don't smoke...all the things you're supposed to do. Summoning the energy to do anything or feel enthused about anything or even work out what I'm supposed to do in order to complete a task is almost impossible. It's awful.

Glad I’m not alone but my goodness is it depressing! (Although I’m not depressed)

wanting to sit and stare at things is exactly it… my dd is 16 and on half term- she’s so full of life and energy and it just makes me feel so dull in comparison! My youngest child just wants to lie in bed on her phone so I feel duty bound to drag her out. Dh keeps suggesting things and I irrationally want to tell them all to F off!!!

I used to be so fun 😩

I kinda swerved this pregnant at 44 having had two at 23 and 25. Friends didn't. You need to pander yourself, be more selfish, don't fight it. I found swimming pool, sauna steam room in a hotel helpful. Time alone to read TV or any noise irritated me at home. Go to the cinema alone, ditto anything else you fancy. STOP!!! pleasing everyone else all the time

@justasking111 - I totally get what you’re saying but it’s not that people are asking anything of me, rather that I’d like my old self back! I can do all those quiet things, I just wish I had the energy and motivation to do other things that I used to enjoy.

Honey you've evolved, it's normal. Get checked out, play around with HRT dosage and types. if it bothers you that your Joie de vrie is down to hormones

It might be hormones. It could also be that the world is pretty bleak currently.

I feel I've less energy too. I used to go for long walks at the weekend, but now I just lie on sofa with a lack motivation! But not "unhappy," just.... thinking ',ok, next werk maybe'

It could be that you need replacement testosterone to complement the rest of the hormones - unfortunately it's even harder to get than HRT!

How long have you been using it, OP?
I found my physical symptoms disappeared within a few weeks, the psychological stuff (mainly mood swings) took about 4 months, but probably close to a year before i really felt like my proper self again.
Sorry, that sounds quite depressing if you've only just started.
But menopause/HRT are different for every woman, maybe just need to give it a bit more time, or try a different regime.
Hang in there.
The old you is definitely still in there somewhere, and you will find her again.

@justasking11 sorry to sidetrack post - I'm interested, did u say you sweved perimenopause symptoms having had a late pregnancy? I'm interested as I am surrounded by peers feeling same as op and trying out hrt. I too had a baby at 44 and feel like my menopause symptoms aren't as bad as other people yet (I'm 50). Wondering if I will swerve or get a big fat dose further down the line!!

My periods stopped at 56 , yes I swerved some of peri but not all. It was easier though than many I read on here.

I think it's about 25% women get to menopause without any symptoms (other than periods stopping.) It's naturally going to be a higher percentage of women with symptoms posting, as they're the ones who need support and any hints on treatment. It seems somewhat pointless starting a thread saying, "I've not had symptoms and so I don't need any support for now."

But there can also be do much else going on by 50ish, it might not all be menopause - it might just be an entirely rational response to global and national politics, climate, work crap, family taking you for granted etc, etc...

@EBearhug - sorry if I wasn’t clear, I absolutely wasn’t saying I had no symptoms just that hrt seems to have sorted the major physical ones but this current mood seems harder to fix. I was hoping someone would suggest a magical supplement I guess!!

thanjs to those that said hang on in there or maybe I need to talk to my GP and change up my prescription.

@justcallmebozo - thank you so much for the lovely post!!

Sorry to hear you feel like this, petitdonkey, the menopause can really knock the stuffing out of you. It sounds obvious, but are you getting enough B vits? They can help with mood/motivation.

Yes i can empathise greatly. I too have days when i just cannot get motivated.
It's my half term now and I'm stressing already about all the stuff myself and OH need to do to the house! Completely unachievable in a week of course!

Don't underestimate life in general being a contributing factor to that flat mood. I don't know about you, but I have two teens at home who cost a small fortune, who do very little housework wise and generally exhaust me at times. Then there's work, pets, the house, family who are far away etc etc. It all takes its toll, on top of menopause crap!

I think the consensus is, to make time for you and try to do nice things now and then.

I'm knackered to be honest!

Yes to this!

Thanks again all, I’ve started on vitamin D and iron but will add B to the mix!

I completely understand and can empathise with you. I started HRT a year ago, lots of improvement with physical symptoms

however I feel that I am feeling worse than ever. It’s causing a serious strain on my marriage. I feel tearful, hopeless, exhausted and so defeated all the time.

I don’t think I am on the right HRT (I’m not getting any progesterone atm) but it’s impossible to get any appointments or advice with the GP now. Our health service has almost collapsed.

I don’t know what will happen, I fear for my marriage. I literally do not recognise myself at all

i have no time to concentrate on myself, to plan healthy food or exercise as I am either at work, commuting and weekends are mostly getting kids to and from places. . That is it, my sole existence.

@checkedcloth - I’m so sorry you are feeling this awful. I totally understand the feeling defeated. I wish I could offer some magic advice but can only offer you my support and understanding xxxx

Thank you @petitdonkey for your kind words. I think it’s hugely important that women can share this stuff.
Going from confidence, and feeling comfortable with myself to feeling as if I am fading away has been the hardest transition of my life. X

I feel exactly like this. I'm on evorel 50 patches and utrogestan and ADs. No longer anxious, depressed or suffering physical symptoms of peri, but still completely lacking motivation to do even the simplest things (so unlike me). I can still work hard, but outside of that, I just want to lie on the sofa watching crap TV. I've become so lazy. I have to talk myself into a shower every day, nevermind eating properly or exercising - never gonna happen. And I know that I don't feel depressed. I actually feel upbeat. It's so confusing and annoying as I'm at last at a point in my life where I could be carefree - kids are up and we're all in a 'good place' I think; but the lack of get up and go is almost debilitating. Thinking of asking to increase doseage of hrt and reduce ADs. But from what I've read Testosterone might be the answer. I completely sympathise with everyone here. It's like coming off the rails of your life.

Wow, this is so familiar. I have been off work this week (term time only job) and apart from one day when I went out for lunch I have done NOTHING. Literally nothing, except a bit of housework. I have one kid at uni and the other doesn't want to go anywhere with me anymore, he is happy seeing or being online with friends. DH has had to work all week so I've been on my own. I literally have no motivation for anything but I can't say I feel depressed as such. I've had depression when I was in my 20s and know the difference - I remember not being able to derive joy from anything at all eg the lovely autumn colours on the trees at the moment, a nice meal out, and I cried a lot and was just sad. This is totally different. I'm still laughing and finding humour and joy in things. Still get on great with DH have lots to be thankful for, and I do genuinely feel thankful and appreciate what I have.

So I don't feel sad or depressed as such. I just feel I've lost my get up and go and wonder what's the point in things. I haven't even read a book or watched a box set or anything this week, just gone to bed too late and got up too late and then sat around really.

I can't take HRT so I guess I'm stuck with this feeling of flatness. I guess it could be described as low mood? But not actual depression. Maybe I miss having kids that need me? Or maybe it's a mid life crisis thing too. I'm nearly 50 and I've been thinking that I've probably had my most enjoyable years and now it's a downhill slope, and the country (and world) isn't in a great state at the moment so it's hard to think positively about the future.

Anyway.......I can empathise. Not sure what the answer is. Wondering if St John's Wort is worth a try.

So many of us feeling exactly the same…not depressed as such (I’ve had that too), but more a feeling of detachment and lack of interest/motivation. It’s really odd. I got a dog a year ago after wanting since childhood, so 5 decades, and he is the only thing I’m really interested in - I’ve made new friends and have got involved in dog related things, which has been great (and expensive! ). Everything else - nope. Nothing.

I turned 60 this year and find myself being 'in my head' a lot of the time, like I haven't really got that much to say any more, but I'm also finding that I don't have a lot of patience with a lot of stuff these days. It's weird and I'm just trying to go with the flow while also sort of running on automatic.

Caitlin Moran wrote a lovely piece about menopause and the 'happy hormones' running out and how it can turn us into who we really are. Caitlin Moran: me, drugs and the perimenopause