Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Menopause

Mumsnet doesn't verify the qualifications of users. If you have medical concerns, please consult a healthcare professional.

Original poster

How to get out of a menopause funk?!

67 replies

petitdonkey · 24/10/2022 12:55

That’s the only way to describe it really.. I am 47 and on hrt patches. They have taken away the physical symptoms of hot flushes and dryness but I’m left feeling…. Empty I guess. Everything feels like a huge effort and I just can’t be bothered to do much- I used to be super sociable and in half term with the kids I’d pack things in but I can’t seem to be able to find the energy or inclination .

has anyone hit upon a magic supplement or solution? I don’t think I’ll be only one feeling like this.

OP posts:
Fififizz · 29/10/2022 17:44

Yes, I can relate to this. HRT helped with many of my physical symptoms but this peculiar feeling of detachment, lack of spark and joy. It’s definitely not depression as I’ve been there before and am functioning ok. I’m wondering if testosterone is required but not wanting to quite admit it to myself. Maybe because of the apparent palaver involved to even attempt to obtain it! I’m kind of flatlining. Living, but in a peculiar state of being. I dunno 🤷‍♀️.

Bettybarklalot123 · 02/11/2022 07:05

I feel exactly the same! I have to talk myself into getting a shower, walking the dog. I hate being on my own or having to go out on my own. I’m not depressed because I find happiness in lots of things. I look forward to being with friends and family. Also feel heavy physically as if my joints have lead in them I also feel kind of spaced out sometimes too.
I’ve started hrt and am hoping it helps.

TheOGCCL · 02/11/2022 08:56

Testosterone has helped me a lot. More motivation, stamina, energy, like I’m invincible. I had a very low level, not sure how long for since I feel better than I did in my twenties. Testosterone can be tested via a blood test.

Watchthesunrise · 02/11/2022 09:06

More motivation, stamina, energy, like I’m invincible

How men feel all the time, I wonder?

CurlyhairedAssassin · 02/11/2022 19:08

Bettybarklalot123 · 02/11/2022 07:05

I feel exactly the same! I have to talk myself into getting a shower, walking the dog. I hate being on my own or having to go out on my own. I’m not depressed because I find happiness in lots of things. I look forward to being with friends and family. Also feel heavy physically as if my joints have lead in them I also feel kind of spaced out sometimes too.
I’ve started hrt and am hoping it helps.

Yes, it's a kind of inertia, isn't it? I put off doing the garden for days recently, and when I was finally forced to cut some shrubbery back (long story), once I was out there doing it I was totally fine! Even cursed the rain when it started because I wanted to carry on!

I wonder what the inertia is all about. Sometimes i think that when you're young and always wanting to go out and about and see new places and people, it's just biology pushing us to expand our horizons so that we can find a suitable mate. Maybe as fertility drops off, the need to actually go anywhere or meet people does too, and you become destined to want to just sit at home 😆

checkedcloth · 02/11/2022 20:31

Lots of inertia here too and procrastinating. I struggle to make decisions and often feel very defeated.
ive been taking testosterone for about 6 months. I initially felt better but feel likes it’s worn of now.

CatNut2017 · 03/11/2022 12:38

Hi OP, I am in the same boat too. What worked for me (other than being on HRT) was finding an online mindset coach + an online support group. I know that sounds weird.

I don't know if I am allowed to share but you can find her on Instagram/ Facebook (Janey Holliday). She does a program with 10 min every day audios & I find them so uplifting.

JuneFromBethesda · 14/11/2022 17:29

I’m reading this thread with tears in my eyes as you are all describing how I feel. I started HRT last December and it was great - I got my sleep back, the awful nagging anxiety disappeared. I thought that was it, I was sorted. But now I’m feeling utterly adrift and I don’t know what to do with myself. I’m starting to think about chucking my job and retraining - leaving the industry I’ve been in for 25 years - but I’m worried that I’m going to start making stupid impulsive decisions just to try and escape this feeling ☹️

@CatNut2017 I’ll take a look at Janey Holliday, I need some support!

travailtotravel · 14/11/2022 17:33

I felt like this on patches and switched up the HRT dose and now take tablets. I feel way more like my old self, general good balance of energy with bouts of can't be arsed-ness which is about right. Also menopause vits to cover off the B12,/VitD/Magnesium potential shortages.

Sadkins · 20/11/2022 17:07

How do you get your energy and motivation back during menopause? During the week I work part-time and come home feeling exhausted and on the weekends I never make it off the couch, last year I was hiking and walking 5 miles or more a day, I am watching my diet but I still, I 50 pounds overweight, ai am extremely depressed, anyone else going through this?

Oblomov22 · 20/11/2022 17:18

Talk to Gp again. Just because you are on a patch, it may not be enough. Ask for higher patch, patch and gel.

BrewandBiscuit · 20/11/2022 17:37

I too am in this fog. Had a childfree night last night and day today. I was in bed by 8:45 last night and spent the day laying around on the sofa and I even fell asleep at one point. Such a waste of my free time but just no energy or inclination for anything else

Busylizzy123 · 20/11/2022 23:57

I hear you - exactly the same. Seem to have enough energy for work and that's it. Rest of day/wknd is a right off. And at work, I feel kinda nervous and lacking confidence. Every day I feel I'm having to prove to myself I can still do it - it all seems a bit precarious. Really I just want to pack it all in and do something mindless and non challenging like knitting or something. I see folk out running and think how are they doing that when I ran a half marathon two years ago. Recently, I have been feeling a bit better mind you, I halved my anti-ds, stayed on HRT obviously, and had a couple of sessions with an NHS councillor (funny enough we didn't really talk about peri-m, just some other challenges in my life). I also watched Stutz on Netflix recently which I have to say was pretty amazing - the bit on the 'string of pearls' made such sense to me. That's all I've got at the moment. It's ups and downs I know. This thread definitely helps. Remember you're not alone on this particularly annoying journey 💐

HeraldicBlazoning · 21/11/2022 08:31

I can relate to a lot of this. It's shit. I am going to force myself out for a walk later and hope that helps.

megletthesecond · 21/11/2022 08:40

sad to force me to keep ticking over I've re-taken up martial arts and take my DC with me. I hate going out after dark but I think that one night a week is doing me good in the long term.

uggmum · 21/11/2022 08:41

I am feeling the same. I have the patches.
I have no motivation and feel really flat.
I'm just not bothered about socialising or engaging with anything.
I am finding people to be really irritating.

My joints are killing me. Really stiff. It takes me ages to get going. I do Pilates twice a week which is helping and I'm taking a ton of supplements.

allnewname · 21/11/2022 08:43

Yes all v familiar, sadly. Can't even be bothered to get into a routine of taking regular vitamins which is ridiculous. GP appointment coming up to discuss HRT options ...

Dontsayyouloveme · 21/11/2022 08:46

I’m also on testosterone for lack of energy and libido. It really sorted both things out 💪🏼

Dontsayyouloveme · 21/11/2022 08:51

when your energy comes back so does your motivation then you become less fed up.

LovelifeHa · 21/11/2022 09:07

OMG, I'm so pleased I found this thread! I've started my own in Women's health but this is so helpful. I'm 45 and recently went to the Dr as I feel completely burnt out - no energy, no enthusiasm, achy joints, sleep patterns up and down, feel completely detached one minute but super emotional the next & can dry at the drop of a hat. Blood test hasn't shown any abnormalities but Dr has suggested it could be early onset Menopause or depression and asked me to think about which it could be. My question is, how do you figure it out? Because I definitely do feel depressed (been a hard two years) but if its the meno will AD's help that or will HRT help the depressive feelings? I hate feeling like this, I really do but I don't seem to be able to dig myself out of it either

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 21/11/2022 13:05

Not sure if this is the right place to be but I feel very similar.

I totally get you re the huge effort, emptiness and not bothering and I'm not even on the HRT patches - though doctor prescribed them.

I've been muddling along taking Menopace Max, Sage tablets etc which have helped to some degree.

The worst thing for me is also the brain fog - which comes and goes and has actually affected my work. So much so that I got notice on my contract job and now I'm without work!

I didn't want to tell work about menopause but have been getting anxious too.

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 21/11/2022 13:08

Busylizzy123 · 20/11/2022 23:57

I hear you - exactly the same. Seem to have enough energy for work and that's it. Rest of day/wknd is a right off. And at work, I feel kinda nervous and lacking confidence. Every day I feel I'm having to prove to myself I can still do it - it all seems a bit precarious. Really I just want to pack it all in and do something mindless and non challenging like knitting or something. I see folk out running and think how are they doing that when I ran a half marathon two years ago. Recently, I have been feeling a bit better mind you, I halved my anti-ds, stayed on HRT obviously, and had a couple of sessions with an NHS councillor (funny enough we didn't really talk about peri-m, just some other challenges in my life). I also watched Stutz on Netflix recently which I have to say was pretty amazing - the bit on the 'string of pearls' made such sense to me. That's all I've got at the moment. It's ups and downs I know. This thread definitely helps. Remember you're not alone on this particularly annoying journey 💐

Oh gawd - the work re feeling kinda nervous and lacking confidence has really kicked in over the past few months - started a new contract in May this year which went swimmingly up to September/October and then I had a few missed bits of work (brain fog!) and now my nerves and lacking confidence has kicked in.

I organise things etc for a living (PA) and I used to be a bloody good one too! I was a good legal secretary/PA for 7 years FFS! Now I don't seem able to do anything... Sad

GonnaGetGoingReturns · 21/11/2022 13:11

travailtotravel · 14/11/2022 17:33

I felt like this on patches and switched up the HRT dose and now take tablets. I feel way more like my old self, general good balance of energy with bouts of can't be arsed-ness which is about right. Also menopause vits to cover off the B12,/VitD/Magnesium potential shortages.

That's really good advice and thanks for this!

I had a good chat with my female doctor the other week about HRT and also underactive thyroid (I'm on a fairly high dose of that which I don't think helps much). Of course, they're both linked... but I wish women knew more about this... still so much in the dark and especially talking about it at work etc - which still seems taboo.

foxlover47 · 21/11/2022 13:15

It's the not wanting to do anything and feeling completely lethargic that gets to me the most !
Everything is such a huge effort now literally everything

Original poster
petitdonkey · 21/11/2022 20:30

Sorry I’ve been awol/ have read all of your messages and it’s so lovely not to feel so alone.

those of you who gave testosterone/ did you get that on the nhs? I really should sort myself out and make an appointment but…. I really can’t be bothered 😂

OP posts: