Omg! 10 years of 'depression' that's actually been Menopause

[MabelsMam]

I just wanted to let folk know my story, I hope it helps someone.
In 2013 I had a full hysterectomy, and went into menopause the very next day I remember it as clear as day.
I was refused Hrt as I'd had a blood clot after pregnancy 21 years previously and I was told I probably wouldn't need it anyway.
Over the course of the next 3 years my mental health took a nose dive, I'd loose my shit with my partner, cry and scream like a banshee, get in the car and just drive ( often not being aware where) my memory was shocking, I'd have panic attacks, anxiety was through the roof and my entire body hurt like hell... it got so bad I had to leave my job in 2017. The doctor prescribed me anti depressants they didn't work, I was sent to a psychiatrist who worked his way through a long list of anti depressants ( 9) for me to try .. again non worked. I was sent to therapy where they dragged up past events and told me that was causing my depression .. therapy didn't work.
I was sent to a rheumatologist who said I had Fibromyalgia and there was no cure for it .
A became a hermit I didn't leave my house, get dressed go shopping nothing I barely existed.
Now fast forward to Sunday past where I came across Davina Mccalls Sex, myths and menopause programme on C4... Omfg !!! This entire programme was about Me ... my symptoms, mental health everything ... I sobbed and sobbed because I finally knew what the hell was wrong with me !!! ... I had over 20 of the 34 menopause symptoms on the show .... I wasn't mad I was menopausal !!
Women who have a surgical menopause can suffer more severe and much longer symptoms than someone who goes into natural menopause ... so why in God's name had not one of the 3 Gp's, 3 psychiatrists, x amount of therapists never asked me about menopause symptoms even though I was in my 50's ?
Why was I handed tablet after tablet instead of considering whether the symptoms I was having could be hormone related ?
10 years of my life I lost and can never get back.... after watching the TV programme, researching non stop I could and can be prescribed HRT .. in patch, gel or spray just not in tablet form .. I can be prescribed testosterone ( yes ladies produce it too infact 4x the amount compared to estrogen ) to help with muscle and bone pain, loss of libido, and energy.
On Thursday I go to see a menopause Specialist in my area - a doctor who specialises in perimenopause, menopause and post menopause to get the HRT I should have had 10 years ago.
I can't get those 10 years back but what I can do is share my story incase there are other ladies who are feeling as crappy as I've been, who can watch Davina and go to their doctors armed with information and not get palmed off with anti depressants that won't cure menopause symptoms!!

Thank you for reading x

I really hope so too, I'm so glad it's working for you, x

Make sure you push for the right HRT for you, and give it time to work. It's not an instant cure.

If this was a men's health problem there would be so much more awareness about it. Makes me angry how it's swept under the carpet and women are just expected to suck it up.

Wishing you luck.

@MabelsMam I hear you.

I had a hysterectomy six years ago in Nov 2016 when I was 44 but retained my ovaries. THe surgeon did warn that this would probably mean premature menopause.

Nov 2018 I suffered my first bout of depression so bad enough that I burst into tears all over the (lovely) GP and could barely function. Script for Prozac. Didn't do anything, apart from give me horrendous side effects.

Feb 2020 same story, was not functioning at all, the Covid thing was just taking off and I really couldn't cope with it at all, not sleeping, not eating. Another visit to the GP, script for Citalopram. More awful side effects.

Finally twigged that it was menopause after reading several other women's experiences and linking up the UTIs, itchiness, insomnia and depression with menopause. Started HRT in January 2022 and feel much more balanced.

Neither of the two (female) GPs I cried at when I thought I had "depression" joined the dots. Even leaving aside the hysterectomy, I was a woman in my late 40s. First male GP refused HRT, did bloods because I had had a hysterectomy, branded me "normal", sent me away with a script for folic acid. When I finally spoke to another GP and was much more assertive that I wanted patches he was so lovely, no issue giving me the prescription and said that in his opinion, if a woman in her 40s is having the symptoms, she gets the HRT.

Education and awareness is rubbish. Davina McCall and the rest of the women who have spoken up are AMAZING but it is a scandal that it's left to TV personalities to educate. I asked the (middle aged, female) receptionist at the GP whether there was a menopause clinic at the practice, she looked at me as if I had two heads and said "What would we need one of those for?".

Glad you're feeling better now OP and keep talking about what you went through.

It really was I broke my heart I had finally found what was causing my issues, I still have at least 20-30 hot flushes a day, wake up in a pool of sweat at night, have migraines 2 or 3 times a week ( which doc gave me another anti depressant for 🙄) I move like I'm 90, the exhaustion and no motivation kill me, I've 3 grandchildren who I struggle to play with but am desperate to, I want to be the fun Nana who takes them places and plays in the garden with them... it breaks my heart knowing I can't do that just now. This hasn't been a life for the past 10 years I'm just a hollow shell of the person I was and I'm only 55 ... I've been driven to the absolute brink only to be helped back my fabulous husband or I'd be gone by now ... it's horrific that women are left like this with no understanding or help.
Prior to this I was a full time working Mum with 3 kids, I went out for meals, went on holidays 3 times a year, had lots of friends and was life and soul of the party 😪

Just to correct a misinformation here, gynae is most definitely compulsory at medical school.

Wishing you well with your treatment.

I think what the OP meant is that menopause is an optional part of the compulsory gynae education. Bit like breastfeeding.

Sorry its how I wrote it ... yes gynae is taught at medical school but menopause is a module that can be taken but isn't compulsory it's an additional module.

Yes it was late and I was quite emotional writing it, I worded it badly 😢

I'm so sorry you have suffered too, at one point I was put on anti psychotic meds along with anti depressants, which i refused to take I knew I was ill but I wasn't psychotic, I felt like a guinea pig where he just threw meds and hoped for the best !

A friend of our family, for sure. She had very poor mental health in a time when that wasn't really as well recognised as it is today, and I know retro-diagnosing is poor form, but it was pretty much in control till she hit 50. Then she took her own life. It hit me like a proper thunderbolt when I went into menopause myself that this was probably what triggered it.

I am so sorry to hear your story and agree meno-care is shocking anyway, but meno-care for people who have a surgical menopause seems to be non-existent. I had another friend who wasn't even told that it would be a side effect of her treatment!

I really hope your appointment goes well for you. What a time you've had.

I am 61 and when I started the menopause 10 years ago, the GP’s I saw really couldn’t give good advice at all. Basically they would prescribe HRT, but unlike other medicines, they really don’t push it, so I ended up going away saying I’d think about it. Then I’d put up with symptoms go and see another GP, same thing happens, yes they say you may benefit from HRT so go away and think about it. The next time I did see the surgeries menopause doctor. She thought it would be good to start HRT but put doubts in my mind as I was taking blood pressure medication. I would recommend to anyone go and see a menopause specialist as early as you can, even if you have to go private first, they really know everything, I wish I had.

thank you for sharing your story, wishing you so much luck for your appointment.

I ended up resigning from a senior role as I couldn’t cope, I thought I was losing my mind or had dementia. I finally figured out it was probably peri meno, I did so much research I could have written a thesis on the subject! Went to the GP and asked for a specific patch, which she gave me. I did ask her why she hadn’t joined up the dots when I had seen her previously with various symptoms, she just looked a bit embarrassed.

This was 5 years ago and I have seen a private meno gp which I’ve paid for via Bupa, worth every penny.

Life is so good now.

I have Bupa I didn't think they covered menopause, I'm off to call them now thank you xx

@MabelsMam Im sorry, I worded that part of my post badly. I paid £250 for the Bupa Menopause Plan, it’s not covered under my insurance.
Best money I’ve spent in a long time, the doctor was superb.

My experience is that I got symptoms at 42 and the female doctor refused to test for, or believe, my symptoms and sent me away. It took 7 years of complaining about the symptoms and I was sent off for all sorts of tests, nothing ever resolved, to get HRT and I was only able to when I proved to a male doctor that I was getting no sleep and was unable to climb the stairs at night. Thanks to my Fitbit.

He sent me for tests and the FSH read 97 when over 20 could be menopause. Then sent me for a dexa scan which showed osteoporosis.

And when I asked what the doctor had put on the notes for my original request she had lied and said something completely different.

I'm now another 5 years on, and my last dexa scan showed the osteoporosis had reduced and I was now out of the danger zone.

Women need to realise that doctors just do not keep up to date on the medical information and you need to do your own research. It is a travesty they they have failed so many women for so long.

I could have written your exact post @MabelsMam. Apart from instead of a hysterectomy, I had my Mirena coil of 10 years removed and was plunged into deep depression, anxiety, sadness, insomnia, unstable mood etc. I went to counselling for year, didn't take ADs on the advice of my counsellor though, who thought i would get through it quicker if i didn't. My husband used to have to take me to her in the car and sit outside and wait for me for an hour as i couldn't be trusted not to drive head on into a lorry 😥 (I feel that counselling did sweet FA for me, apart from an issue I have with my mum got straightened out in my head, but irrelevant to this post).

After a time when i literally got in the car and drove all the way up to the Lake District (I am near London) for no reason than my head was a massive fog of sadness and confusion, someone finally suggested menopause. I went privately for the consultation (www.newsonhealth.co.uk/) and got Oestrogen patches and Progesterone capsules and honestly i felt to much better within the first week. Hot flushes stopped within days, no more night sweats, I don;t hobble like a 90 year old when i get out of bed anymore, and I'm not having mad random mood swings, alternately crying / angry. The full results were felt within a month i would say and I am now my old self again.

Best of luck tomorrow! xx

Ah yes I've just discovered that I think I might sign up to that after tomorrow x

Just to counter all the comments about crap NHS service my friends and I have chatted about this and we've all had good service. Maybe it's the area we live. My male GP suggested I see the menopause nurse at the surgery when I was complaining of generalised aches and pains. He was very sympathetic to my wishy washy and relatively mild symptoms.

Oh my love I cried reading your comment, and I had another light bulb moment i had forgotten this .. I too had a mirena coil removed prior to my hysterectomy and my anger and crying episodes began then, I also drove for miles to the edge of nowhere and just sat in the dark wondering if I just stayed there noone would miss me, I think at that point I was peri and removing the coil was the start of these issues.. then bam head long into menopause with full hysterectomy.. I honestly can't wait for tomorrow - all this crap for 10 years plus , I'm only grateful my hubby has stayed by my side ❤️

I'm so glad you had a better response I wouldn't wish this on my worst enemy xxx

Download an app called Balance (from the Newson clinic). Its pretty good if you like that sort of thing. www.balance-menopause.com/balance-app/

I use it to log my erratic periods (I still get them, but randomly).

I'm so sorry about all the time you've lost and the terrible service you've had.

Women's health just isn't a priority. We shouldn't accept this.

It shouldn't take a tv show for any change to happen!

I sometimes feel peri menopausal so take the menopause multi vitamins from the supermarket. Not sure if they work or not!!

I'm so so glad that I came across the programme or I'd be like this forever, if you feel like you may be peri speak to your doctor about options I wouldn't want anyone to suffer how some of us have here xx

I'm sorry you've had to deal with this. I hope you can get back to full health sharpish. I really sympathise as I'm suffering terribly right now but as a former breast cancer patient, HRT is not an option for me (I have asked). I've just recently followed a doctor who specialises in menopause on Insta as she has advice for people like me as a former BC patient herself. I need to sit and go through it.

If I can find a way to deal with the horrific anxiety and racing heart, that alone would be life changing. It's utterly shit.

Hopefully the HRT will help you.