I am so miserable, feel so crap every day but no one is listening.

[RedorangeyellowBLACK]

I honestly don’t know if my issues are peri or something else but I can not get any gp to take me seriously.
I am 49 and since the age of around 45 I have been progressively feeling shittier and shittier. This is a list of my symptoms, I wonder if anyone can recognise them as symptoms they have or have had during periods! (Sorry, it’s long. Family say I am a hypochondriac!):-

Very heavy periods, (I have had recurring uterine polyps. These were removed in April and the heavy bleeding was supposed to be fixed with an ablation in but I am still getting fairly heavy periods since the procedure).
(Periods became so heavy that I needed an iron infusion in February).
Awful, awful gut issues (acid, indigestion, burping, burping, bloating, farting, grumbling guts, constipation and diarrhoea) - these symptoms are daily and they really are taking over my life right now.
Hot night sweats the week before period.
Often wake lots throughout the night - I am exhausted and tired.
Achy bones and joints, literally feel like I’ve slept on a cobbled street.
Through the roof, daily anxiety (this leaves me feeling truly awful).
Absolutely zero libido which is causing a few issues between dh and I (he feels rejected!)
Vaginal dryness (which obviously doesn’t help the above point!)
Can no longer tolerate any stress and feel overwhelmed (My mum has Alzheimer’s and I try and help dad as much as possible, he relies on my a lot. I find this absolutely overwhelming)
Moods up and down (I am very depressed and cry A LOT but put that down to the frustration of all the above).

Over the last 5 years I have been with 2 different GP surgeries and seen several GPs. When I have asked them if I could be perimenopausal they all say no, I am not quite there yet as I have regular periods and no regular hot sweats (although I do get them from time to time). They just offer antidepressants for the low mood and anxiety but they make the gut issues worse!
I have have had endless tests for the gynae and digestive issues. Nothing comes back for the digestive issues (even though the symptoms are daily) and only polyps were found as a possible cause for the very heavy periods.
I can only but think that maybe out of whack hormones are contributing to all of this?
I am truly at the end of my rope, feel no one is listening. I would love to see someone privately but just can not afford it.
When I look up peri symptoms my issues do point to peri but how do I get anyone to believe me? I’ve gone with printed off symptoms etc but obviously the last 2 years have been tricky as all my appointments have been via telephone.

I really just want to lay in bed all day, life is too much for me now. But I need to be there for my teen kids, husband and parents. And I work so bed isn’t an option!
I have changed surgeries yet again and have an appointment with the new GP but can not get to see her until the end of this month.

Ouch. Have you watched the Davina McCall programme about menopause? I'm a similar age to you and just waiting for my appt with GP to request HRT, I have very similar symptoms to you. Do not take no for an answer, being told 'you are not quite there yet' is absolute bollocks. If you can afford it there is always the option of the private menopause clinics. Wishing you luck, it completely baffles me why it is so difficult to get help with this issue.

You need to print out the NICE guidelines and go back to the GP with them in your hand.
You do not ask them if you’re peri menopausal, you tell them you are.
Work out what HRT you want before you go. I’d suggest a Mirena coil for your heavy periods for the progesterone part. This also helped my PMT massively.
Try taking cod liver oil for your joints, but give it a good few months before you decide if it’s working or not.
Think about taking magnesium or having Epsom salt baths to improve your sleep.
Giving up alcohol will help.

You're 49 and you're having classic peri-menopausal symptoms OP. If I were you, I would call your GP surgery and ask which GP is best to talk to about menopausal symptoms and HRT, because I'm pretty sure that if you were to go on HRT you would see an improvement in all the issues you list above (which are all symptoms of peri-menopause).

You've been given shit advice in the past by the GP you consulted, but sadly that's not atypical, as some GPs (particularly older ones), know nothing about peri/menopause and don't care to. Younger GPs tend to be more clued up and with all the recent focus on menopause in the media, thankfully there is finally a bit more understanding out there, but many of us have had to 'shop around' to find a GP who knows his/her stuff on this.

You should request a consultation to discuss your peri-menopausal symptoms and ask to be put on HRT, as long as you have no family or personal medical history that means it's unsuitable. You should NOT be put on anti-depressants, because you're suffering from the consequences of declining female hormones. The correct type/dosage of HRT will help you to feel much more normal again.

leopardprintlindt Thank you. Yes, I have watched the Davina show and follow her on IG, she is fantastic. I hope you get the help you need too, good luck.
KangarooKenny Thanks, I will print those off ready for my appointment. I will get some cod liver oil too, dh takes it and it helps him. I did try the Mirena but sadly it made me feel unwell which is why I ended up having the ablation. I am hoping to be able to try utrogestan if the GP agrees to it. Luckily I don’t drink, I’ve had about 10 alcoholic drinks since my 20’s! Unless you include last night, I had a gulp of Chardonnay and felt poorly for about 8 hours after and still have awful indigestion, alcohol and I do not mix lol!
Zefferana Thank you. I am truly ready for HRT.

You are peri menopausal and it's shite, absolutely shite.

Print off the NICE guidelines, get a face to face GP appointment, tell them you're in peri, your quality of life is compromised and tell them you want HRT.

Research your options ( might be a case of you get what you are given right now) but tell them you want HRT, not anti depressants.

Best of luck 🤞

Runaround50 thanks, I’ve printed them off and hopefully the new GP will take me seriously.
*Battenbergdownthehatches I really feel ready for HRT now, can’t live like this anymore.

I didn't ask to discuss HRT, I told my GP I wanted to go on it.

Plus If you have vaginal dryness, it can quickly turn to atrophy which is hell. You want vagifem pessaries and Ovestin cream. It's one of the symptoms which simply worsens if left untreated.

Don't ask the GP, just tell GP.

I had most of that at 42. By the time I managed to prove (prove!) I was menopausal (I used my fit bit stats on sleep patterns) I had osteoporosis at 49. My FSH was 95. The GP put me on HRT and after the first patch went on I had 2 more hot flashes and started feeling better that day.

AlisonDonut that is my concern, my mum has had osteoporosis for years and is now doubled over.

I'm 48 and have most of the symptoms you've listed. I had yet another blood test this week but this will be the fourth all the others have come back normal. I'm also suffering with high blood pressure and drs have said this needs to be sorted before even discussing hrt. I'm sure my blood pressure would be better if I wasn't so tired, angry, anxious etc all the time. Hope you get a better response with your new gp.

Tell this to your doctor when you go.

Ginger raw made into to tea is your friend ( I teaspoon to boiling water) re gastro issue, ostrogen upsets the bile causing digestive issues ( been there) put fingers over tummy button and move in clockwork direction will ease stuff.
not allowed hrt due to other meds, good luck, my menopause full on at 45

Why are you being given blood tests for menopause? This is against NICE guidelines as levels of hormones in the blood fluctuate wildly throughout your cycle and will only ever give a snapshot of that precise day. Aged 48 it should be assumed that you are peri-menopausal and you should be offered HRT if you have no family/personal history of conditions that contraindicate its use. Print off the NICE guidelines and, if necessary, go and see a different GP.

Jesus your General Practice sounds worse than useless, worth an actual complaint I'd say.

I wrote a letter in the end , very polite but implying I would escalate to a complaint if they continued to ignore the guidelines. Got a very speedy phone call and prescription!

Summerhillsquare thankfully I’ve now left that surgery as they are still refusing to see patients face to face unless it’s an emergency or you have already had a telephone consult and they deem it necessary to actually see you!
The practice I have moved to gives you the option of face to face or telephone.
I need to actually see someone, I am not good getting my point across via the phone.
I just hope I get someone with the new gp!

I'm so sorry you've been failed so many times.
I'm 41 and stared with peri menopause symptoms at 38.
Whilst during my first appt I was told I was too young 18 months later I was proven right.
What I've found helps is doing lots of research and then telling my doctor what I want.
I truly hope you can get sorted and maybe send a letter to the practice manager stating all the issues you've had. Hopefully they will do some training for their staff.

Thanks @zafferana I'll print the guidelines out and go armed with more info.

You can trial hrt at 45 no tests - demand a trial!

Gut issues has been a v key peri symptom.

Hi Red. Found your thread. Yes at 49 you are definitely peri. I was 50 when I got HRT from the gp. I phoned up, listed all my symptoms told them my age and was given a prescription for HRT. It was that simple for me. I can't believe the hassle some people have to go through to get it.

@zafferana is right.

I found that being totally honest with the GPs receptionists helped in my practice; the ladies I've made my appointments via pointed out that all the reception and support staff at the practice are middle-aged women and many of them have experienced troublesome menopause symptoms.

So they know which doctors to make your appointment with.

How are you doing @redorangeyellowBLACK ?

I've started HRT recently at 61. A friend asked what I was GIVEN and advised her that I TOLD the Dr, very politely what I WANTED. Its very difficult when you are so poorly to fight your corner, but everyone on here will help you find your way and hold your hand. I've been through, and currently going through most of what you have described (including mother with dementia and it is exhausting).HRT is starting to give me back my resilience. I am not so overwhelmed and my word, it has helped with aches and pains. Make sure that appointment happens and have everything prepared as has been advised by the kind women above. This is the start of life becoming much better for you and ignore anyone who tells you that you are a hyperchrondriac. Although I remember beginning to feel that I was! Take care, good luck and come back with any HRT questions you have. Your Dr knows your medical history, but everyone here will be able to help alongside, through the HRT maze xxx

Wow this makes me so angry on your behalf @RedorangeyellowBLACK . It sounds like HRT will transform your life and I can't believe you're being fobbed off so badly. I really hope you've managed to get this sorted since your original post xx