I am so miserable, feel so crap every day but no one is listening.

[RedorangeyellowBLACK]

I honestly don’t know if my issues are peri or something else but I can not get any gp to take me seriously.
I am 49 and since the age of around 45 I have been progressively feeling shittier and shittier. This is a list of my symptoms, I wonder if anyone can recognise them as symptoms they have or have had during periods! (Sorry, it’s long. Family say I am a hypochondriac!):-

Very heavy periods, (I have had recurring uterine polyps. These were removed in April and the heavy bleeding was supposed to be fixed with an ablation in but I am still getting fairly heavy periods since the procedure).
(Periods became so heavy that I needed an iron infusion in February).
Awful, awful gut issues (acid, indigestion, burping, burping, bloating, farting, grumbling guts, constipation and diarrhoea) - these symptoms are daily and they really are taking over my life right now.
Hot night sweats the week before period.
Often wake lots throughout the night - I am exhausted and tired.
Achy bones and joints, literally feel like I’ve slept on a cobbled street.
Through the roof, daily anxiety (this leaves me feeling truly awful).
Absolutely zero libido which is causing a few issues between dh and I (he feels rejected!)
Vaginal dryness (which obviously doesn’t help the above point!)
Can no longer tolerate any stress and feel overwhelmed (My mum has Alzheimer’s and I try and help dad as much as possible, he relies on my a lot. I find this absolutely overwhelming)
Moods up and down (I am very depressed and cry A LOT but put that down to the frustration of all the above).

Over the last 5 years I have been with 2 different GP surgeries and seen several GPs. When I have asked them if I could be perimenopausal they all say no, I am not quite there yet as I have regular periods and no regular hot sweats (although I do get them from time to time). They just offer antidepressants for the low mood and anxiety but they make the gut issues worse!
I have have had endless tests for the gynae and digestive issues. Nothing comes back for the digestive issues (even though the symptoms are daily) and only polyps were found as a possible cause for the very heavy periods.
I can only but think that maybe out of whack hormones are contributing to all of this?
I am truly at the end of my rope, feel no one is listening. I would love to see someone privately but just can not afford it.
When I look up peri symptoms my issues do point to peri but how do I get anyone to believe me? I’ve gone with printed off symptoms etc but obviously the last 2 years have been tricky as all my appointments have been via telephone.

I really just want to lay in bed all day, life is too much for me now. But I need to be there for my teen kids, husband and parents. And I work so bed isn’t an option!
I have changed surgeries yet again and have an appointment with the new GP but can not get to see her until the end of this month.

You need HRT. I’ve just been given my prescription and didn’t have to push for it at all.

They did talk on the documentary about HRT being a bit of a postcode lottery. I wonder if you’re in an area of the country where they are reticent to prescribe.

Get your vitamin D levels checked as you probably need a D and calcium supplement if you osteoporosis in your family.
also worth checking B 12 and folate as all can cause fatigue and aches if low.

these should be checked at least once a hear

Year, not hear

You've just described my peri-menopause. Some of us have far worse symptoms before meno than afterwards. Honestly, the bliss when you stop having long, agonising, heavy bleeds with cramps and bone aches and sweats and diarrhoea is unbeliveably. Menopause is bliss in comparison with perimenopause.

I took daily herbal iron supplements and Vit D spray both of which helped with fatigue and bone aches. The herbal iron is way kinder to the stomach and doesn't give you gut issues like the NHS crappo iron tablets do. Try Floradix capsules.

It sounds a bit cheesy but take up morning meditation and try some CBT techniques for the anxiety. Ask for 6 weeks free CBT for anxiety online on NHS. They will give you some good coping strategies.

Can't advise on HRT as I never had the guts or guidance/GP support to take it.

I am still feeling crap and had Covid last week so that’s not helped matters.
I had a telephone appointment last week with my new surgery.
As I had Covid obviously I couldn’t go face to face so I emailed a long list of my symptoms as well as a tick list of peri symptoms which I had downloaded from Louise Newsons site.
But STILL the new GP is offering antidepressants (they make my digestive issues so much worse but that falls on deaf ears). She said we could ‘maybe’ discuss HRT but it would have to be at another time as I will need to see her face to face for that (no idea why).
I am just fed up with feeling so low, anxious, moods up and down all day, no energy, dragging through my day with these awful mental health symptoms, awful digestive issues, no zest for life at all, total exhaustion…….
And to add to the pile of crap, it has become obvious the uterine ablation I had in April has failed, I have had 3 periods since which are getting heavier and now, instead of my normal 7 day period these new post-ablation ones are lasting 10+ days ffs!
I just want to give up, I really do.

Contact the gp again. My practice has the online form to fill in. DEMAND hrt on it. Threaten to escalate. You don't need a face to face appt. I'm outraged on your behalf. I have actually found that the women gp's are generally useless the male gp's were much better to deal with.

As a last resort you could pay for an appt with a menopause specialist as a friend did with BUPA. She had a prescription within a few days. Think it was less than £200.