Menopause stole my motivation

[Fififizz]

Anyone else struggling with lack of motivation? I’ve just lost interest in doing anything other than the bare minimum to get by it seems. I used to be able to push myself through any feelings like this and now I just seem stuck in a ‘really can’t be bothered’ frame of mind. It doesn’t feel black and dark like depression but very flat. It’s like I’m disconnected from everything that makes life tick. I’m on HRT so the main menopausal physical symptoms are being managed largely. I just can’t seem to
push through this complete lack of motivation for life. Anyone have any thoughts or tips please on this? Thanks.

Spoke to GP yesterday, suggested topping up my Everol Sequi 50 patch with Everol 25. Praying this is the answer 🙏🏻

Hello, what a great thread. So many different experiences.

I'm 50 and periods stopped about 4 years ago. No real physical symptoms apart from a few flushes, and sleepless nights ... but the weight struggle, emotional stuff, lack of confidence and brain fog has been horrendous.... and only now am I realising the cause was the Big M.

Started anti depressants in January and had some counselling through work as it was having such an impact on my motivation, but have recently had to stop ADs due to physical side effects. The 2 female GPs I have spoken to were both very knowledgeable and offered me HRT straight away. I declined the first time, (opted for the ADs) but have just started on evoril conti patches. Its early days but I'm feeling pretty hopeful that this will help me get my mojo back.

On my 4th day of new patch. Feeling quite on edge/anxious. Do vaguely remember feeling like this when I 1st went on HRT. Guess I have got to just let it settle down 😬
sleeping better though which is such a relief 😅

Hi ladies I'm only 43 and have struggled with heavy periods - had a scan a few months that showed thick uterine lining but nothing else. I have felt emotionally flat for several years now. Not down, just not bothered about anything. I feel dull and fat but can't be bothered to do anything about it. Bare minimum I can get away with at home and work. Just can't wait to get home, bra off and watch netflix😩 have this really awful thoughts that I'll coast now for the rest of my life and I've had the best part of it.
Loads of women look fab and are successful long after my age and after loosing a friend of the same age to cancer recently I think about how much she would value the years I've got left, and I should too.
The GP was lovely and sent me for hormone bloods which all showed normal levels, I do keep slipping back into anaemia and needing iron. Reading all your posts makes me wonder if HRT would help me but surely I can't be menopausal with normal bloods and regular cycle?

Honestly can't believe the difference HRT has made for me. I'm on gel,progesterone and testosterone. I was convinced I had long covid. I was wiped out every day, no motivation, horrendous headaches, no energy, struggling to get out of bed every single day. Periods regular, no hot flushes so it didn't occur to me that it could be menopause. Then I read Menopausing by Davina McCall and it was so bloody obvious! Definitely do all the blood tests you can and get checked and hopefully some HRT - you will be glad you did.

Thanks - is it just about catching the right moment where hormones dip or surge? I suppose no HRT until they have some proof wour blood results? They said bloods unlikely to show abnormal until periods irregular but that obviously wasn't the case for you

Mine only tested for testosterone, which was low end of normal, for the others blood tests aren't reliable due to fluctuations so they go by your symptoms.

@TaffyandTeenyTaffy do you mind if I ask which AD and what side effects were a problem?

or maybe you have just realised you just want to take life a bit more easily, and have the opportunity to do this

Do you mind me asking what your testosterone level was? Mine was 0.7 and said normal- I have an online facility where I can view the results. I never made contact with the GP again as they all appeared normal

@Hi246 I'm not sure of the actual figures, but dr said it was only within normal range by one, so definitely at the lower end of normal. They said they would retest in 3 months, then if within the 'low range' they could refer me to a specialist (probably months on a waiting list, etc) and I felt dreadful so decided to use private online clinic and received prescription within a couple of days. I believe you can use Superdrug online for this too.

Of course 'normal' for one person may be really low for someone else and given that I was feeling absolutely dreadful, to have had to wait for months and months would have been horrendous. It's early days but I already feel so much better.

@Hi246 0.7 is also really low, I follow lifestyleandsmiles on TikTok and apparently hers was 0.8 and she's been on testosterone a while now, it's been amazing for her. Here's a post which may be helpful in the comments she says hers was 0.8 vm.tiktok.com/ZGJuEGTaG/

Sometimes GP’s other insist hormones are maximised before they’ll add anything else like testosterone. I’m on HRT but my
mood and motivation has always been the issue. I’m in another slump currently and it’s awful. I just cba to engage with anything. I’m wondering if it’s depression. It’s worth getting whatever checks done you can to help you understand what might be happening.

Thanks ladies you've all made me feel more like pushing it. I haven't been myself for so long and I have this sad acceptance, its a mindset I need to get out of. Its not depression, I'm hugely affected by my cycle and only feel a bit more motivated and positive for a really short time. Horrible heavy periods and very little sex drive. Can't be bothered with anything, which affects everything
I need to go back to have iron levels done so I'm going to ring this week and see if gp will also let me have the others.
She was lovely and supportive last time and said she totally believed women in their 40s should be treated.

Thank you ninetieseyebrows. You've really helped me want to push for this again, its 10 months since my last bloods potentially all that time I could have felt better. I'm so pleased you feel as good as you do

Thanks fififizz for starting such a great thread. Its made me want to tackle what I'd just accepted. We all deserve the best life we can have and not to be written off halfway through! I didn't start my periods till I was 14 so didn't imagine I'd be dealing with this at 42.
I really hope you get sorted soon, an anti depressant must be worth try.

Sorry forgot to ask, do you have to prove blood results for online prescription or will they just prescribe? 😒

@Hi246 I didn't have to show mine! My results from my doctor didn't have any numbers on it anyway - just said 'normal' (all very cloak and dagger!), but my clinician told me on the phone it was at the lowest end of 'normal'.
When doing the Superdrug questionnaire I think you have to -say you- have been on reg HRT for at least 3 months, you also have to -say you- have low libido (although tbh that's the last of my problems!) but that the only reason they'll prescribe testosterone for women currently (which is ridiculous, and they are working on changing this but for now you have to play the game). Try Superdrug, if you don't have any joy with them let me know and I'll have a rethink for you.
@Fififizz I'm so sorry you are feeling like this - it's truly horrible. Have you tried testosterone? Would you want to? It might be the missing piece? Don't be fobbed off, take it in to your own hands if necessary. I did lots of research. Davina's programs on C4 and her audio/book are really really informative to help you make a decision. Best of luck to you, and I really hope you feel better soon

I can relate to this 100% - on HRT for nearly 2 years which has helped with physical symptoms but suffering from can't-be-arsedness, and motivation for so many things has just evaporated. Try and exercise but found it hard to fit in recently with work as it's been so busy. Brain fog and poor memory/concentration exacerbate things with result that at work I seem to take so much longer to do everything which in turn affects my confidence.

Been back and forth to dr (well, phone appointments) to try and get testosterone for past 6 months, but she's mega cautious and has wanted several blood tests before starting, only to stop me taking it after 2 weeks as testosterone levels were too high, so I'm back in the cycle of blood tests again. So fed up with lack of progress and feeling like this, but don't know if there's an easy answer.

@stringbean that's not good at all. I'd be changing doctors if I was you or consider the Superdrug route if you can spare £50 for test (if you can't get copy of your NHS blood results) and then £18 a month for the meds.

Just wanted to say thanks for this thread, I found it at 3am when I was lying awake fretting about everything. I have been feeling exactly like this for so long, no motivation to do anything at all, just putting one foot in front of the other is too much some days. It's made such a difference to know I'm not alone in this, and it's given me the push to admit I'm not going to get through the menopause this way, and to book a doctors appointment (well an online consultation but its a start) this morning.

Yes, ‘just putting one foot in front of the other’ is something I can relate with. Good luck with the GP appointment.

This thread started almost 1 year ago.
@Fififizz, did you go on a higher dose of HRT, did it make a difference to your motivation levels?

Most the others who mentioned 11 months ago that they might start or increase HRT dose ( @stilldumdedumming , @WeAreTheHeroes , @Jadedandlost , @Thighdentitycrisis , @FelicityElectricity ) never updated what happened; @Rooses only gave an ambiguous update 4 days in to her changed dose.

There is a thing happens as we age, our Serotonin threshold goes down; it basically means we're happier doing less exciting things (like toddlers, and unlike thrill- seeking teenagers). Happens to men too; could explain losing interest in what we cared about before. Planning a foreign holiday is a lot of faff if you would enjoy a week in your garden tending the roses just as much.

I don’t know how to pick up your name to reply, hence the massive quote thing.

To try and answer. Yes my HRT has been tweaked. I’m on private treatment which is compounded for me (the kind BMA doesn’t endorse) I’ve been up and down on this treatment tbh but scared to switch during Covid/due to unavailability of supplies. When I feel ok I feel ok but when I don’t feel ok the thought of switching and feeling even worse is scary. 🙈

I’m just prone to feeling depression when things get difficult I think. It’s like my default but normally I sink and rise now I’m just stuck. Life feels like plodding along a well worn rut and I just cba with engagement and effort it takes.

I’m not sure if I need different HRT, anti d’s, a kick up the backside. I have to keep going as I have a teenager with ASC but currently keeping going is ‘just keep putting one foot in front of the other’. It’s the most I can manage/be bothered to do and it feels relentless and so boring.