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Menopause

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Original poster

Menopause stole my motivation

59 replies

Fififizz · 21/05/2022 09:02

Anyone else struggling with lack of motivation? I’ve just lost interest in doing anything other than the bare minimum to get by it seems. I used to be able to push myself through any feelings like this and now I just seem stuck in a ‘really can’t be bothered’ frame of mind. It doesn’t feel black and dark like depression but very flat. It’s like I’m disconnected from everything that makes life tick. I’m on HRT so the main menopausal physical symptoms are being managed largely. I just can’t seem to
push through this complete lack of motivation for life. Anyone have any thoughts or tips please on this? Thanks.

OP posts:
stilldumdedumming · 21/05/2022 09:11

I'm not on HRT and this is my main reason for wanting to try it. It's not even pushing through stuff. It's just being arsed to do anything more than work and study (that I love). I cook but even cleaning is too much now. And things you used to just...DO!

I did wonder if Covid lockdowns etc have also played a part - but it's taking a massive toll on my health. I used to run long distances! Now I am pushed to walk anywhere.

Dilbertian · 21/05/2022 09:41

My personal experience of HRT is that for several years I took the bare minimum needed to get the physical symptoms to a manageable level. Mistake. I can't remember why, but for some reason my dosage was increased after several years. That was when I realised that there's a heck of a lot more going on than just hot flushes etc. I'd got into such an emotional rut that I had lost sight of normal. Increasing my HRT also increased my emotional well-being. It's as if some of my passion for life has returned. Not all, but certainly enough to make a massive difference.

KangarooKenny · 21/05/2022 09:43

Yes, me too. But I wonder if it’s more to do with covid though. Being locked down, furloughed, not being able to go abroad. Now I’ve got no motivation to do those things.

WeAreTheHeroes · 21/05/2022 09:46

This is my main reason, well that and the awful sleep deprivation due to waking in the night, for wanting to get HRT. I am going to make a doctor's appointment. In 2020 I was fine and had lots of motivation. Now my periods are erratic - only two do far this year - and my motivation is on the floor.

Jadedandlost · 21/05/2022 09:48

I’m exactly the same. HRT is helping the physical symptoms, but I’m still too tired. Mentally I just can’t be bothered and feel flat. Lockdown has exacerbated this as at least before I was in a social life routine that didn’t need much effort. Really interested to read that increasing my HRT might help so I will try extra gel.

Runaround50 · 21/05/2022 09:55

Yes I feel the same.
Just about getting up for work at the moment!

SirChenjins · 21/05/2022 09:56

Same here. I’m not on HRT and beyond the insomnia and anxiety (I use Trazadone for both and it keeps it under control - although may need up up the dosage a bit) I have few physical symptoms. Periods are still every month and are v heavy which is a total pain.
I absolutely cannot be arsed with anything - that feeling of detachment is very familiar. It’s like everything is going on around me and I just go through the motions, but nothing more. I first noticed it about 3 or 4 years ago when - for the first time ever - I didn’t want to plan our family holiday. I used to love choosing our destination, booking everything, arranging the itinerary etc - it was the thing that I did. Now I have no interest and have handed everything over to DH. I just don’t really care about anything to the extent I once did.

Cotherstone · 21/05/2022 09:58

This is really interesting, I’m wondering if this is happening to me. I’m in my early forties and starting to see signs of peri, all the women in my family started early so it wouldn’t be a surprise.

Like a PP I can’t work out if it’s related to lockdown and COVID as well - we all know it’s not done much mentally for a lot of people. I’m lacking SO much motivation in life, which is an arse as I have two young DC, I DH who does shift work, and have been offered a promotion at work. I could do with a bit more ooomph sometimes.

I've been on a low dose of Citalopram for a long time and I’m comfortable that is right - my anxiety and snappiness is pretty ok, and I know from experience that going to a higher dose makes me feel very numb.

But my mum had breast cancer in her fifties so HRT isn’t something I’m willing to consider unless my symptoms are absolutely awful as I don’t feel the risk is worth it.

KangarooKenny · 21/05/2022 10:04

I used to go on holiday 3 or 4 times a year, now I can’t be bothered and have nothing booked for this summer. In fact I actually dread DH mentioning it.
I used to go out on my days off, for a coffee and a mooch around the shops, I don’t go to the shops any more . I get clothes delivered.
I had tickets for a gig recently, I was really excited when I booked them last year. I recently realised I couldn’t be arsed going so I sold them, and on the night it happened I smiled to myself when I got in bed and decided I’d made the right choice as I’d rather be in bed.
I really don’t know what has happened to me.

Rooses · 21/05/2022 10:09

I can totally relate to feeling unmotivated and disconnected. I have been on HRT for 11 months now. I don’t feel depressed or anxious, sertraline has helped that but I’m feeling so tired and achy all the time. My periods are erratic now and I’ve gained a lot of weight. I have arranged to speak to my GP this week to try..maybe I need to increase my HRT patches 😚

Thighdentitycrisis · 21/05/2022 10:16

This is me
stopped periods 5 years ago
I’m on antidepressants anyway but serious thinking maybe HRT might boost my mood

Ginandcrispsarebliss · 21/05/2022 11:10

Hi OP. I have been really struggling with the memopause and decided I needed to go o HRT. I am on the patches and wished I went on them sooner. Mood swings have gone. Feel so much lighter and happier. Night sweats have disappeared, Anxiety has gone. Feel more positive with life and have my mojo back.

Dilbertian · 21/05/2022 11:27

That's it! HRT is not so much mood-boosting as mojo-restoring.

FelicityElectricity · 21/05/2022 13:22

Yes same here! I have recently started testosterone in addition to oestrogen patches and progesterone. I was told it will take three months to feel a difference with the testosterone and it should improve motivation and energy levels so I'm hoping my get up and go will return because it seems to have disappeared 😒. I hope you find something that helps. I also think we are still recovering from the prolonged stress of lockdowns and covid.

Theoldhouse · 26/05/2022 16:36

I can relate to much of what has been posted here. I need to create more of a structure to my week as I'm not currently working but don't want to commit to anything in terms of volunteering etc. which might actually help with this. The thought of work seems baffling as I've been inflicted with really heavy periods/mood swings etc. I'm not sure how I would cope to be honest. I feel tetchy and lacking energy and feel impatient with people which then feeds into a bit of a viscious circle of sometimes feeling isolated (and as someone mentioned a feeling of being disconnected). My social life is virtually non-existent in spite of a few attempts to improve it.

I have relatively young dc too who want to be on the go a lot and I'm feeling a lot of guilt in this direction as I often want to sit alone and can't as this is obviously unfair on them. I used to be the instigator for family trips and there would usually be something on the boil, whereas now, everything feels like too much hard work.

I have attempted to take HRT and found it little help (it seemed to cause other issues or perpetuated symptoms), there is also some family history of potential issues so I am reluctant to take it anyway.

ChaToilLeam · 26/05/2022 16:38

I’ve been on HRT for two weeks. Fucking hell, what a difference it has made. Sleeping properly again, more energy and motivation. Wish I’d asked for it earlier.

bizzey · 26/05/2022 16:49

Wow !
This is so me !
Just can't get motivated or excited about anything.

I am now 55 and past menopause,I think as in periods stopped 7/8ish years ago.

Am I too late for HRT now ?
I would need the patch as I can't even be arsed to take a menopace
Tablet that I have bought !

Runaround50 · 26/05/2022 20:27

ChaToi Leam , which HRT do you take? Sounds great!

ChaToilLeam · 27/05/2022 23:34

I have Gynokadin oestrogen gel to rub on in the morning and Famentia progesterone capsules to take at night. Doc started me on a low dose which seems to be working well. Had very tender bosoms for the first week, a bit like before a period, but that’s stopped now.

Shakeupandwakeup · 27/05/2022 23:39

I am seeing the GP in a fortnight's time to ask for HRT. Feeling exactly the same way. Zero motivation for anything. Just meh about life. I really hope they work.

Smileandactlikeitsfine · 31/05/2022 19:59

Yes this happened to me and I started seeing a slight improvement (only been on it just over 2 months) but that was with increasing my dose to 1mg a day. Now I'm back down to 0.5mg a day to eek out my supply waiting for the shortages of oestrogen to ease and I'm going backwards with my mood and motivation.

SpindleSheWrote · 31/05/2022 20:22

@bizzey no it's not too late. Go for it.

IStandWithMaya · 31/05/2022 20:36

@bizzey Definitely not too late at all!

BigButtons · 01/06/2022 17:57

I can so relate to this. I am on HRT but the awful Lenzetto since no more gel and everything is going tits up. Low mood, anxiety, palpitations, zero motivation for anything, horrible night sweats and exhaustion due to lack of sleep.
I am starting the patches I’m a couple of days.
will be having a blood test soon to check oestrogen and testosterone levels. I suspect I’m barely absorbing the Lenzetto. I was doing ok on the gel.
I’m hoping I need some testosterone too.

Nik2015 · 01/06/2022 23:59

KangarooKenny · 21/05/2022 10:04

I used to go on holiday 3 or 4 times a year, now I can’t be bothered and have nothing booked for this summer. In fact I actually dread DH mentioning it.
I used to go out on my days off, for a coffee and a mooch around the shops, I don’t go to the shops any more . I get clothes delivered.
I had tickets for a gig recently, I was really excited when I booked them last year. I recently realised I couldn’t be arsed going so I sold them, and on the night it happened I smiled to myself when I got in bed and decided I’d made the right choice as I’d rather be in bed.
I really don’t know what has happened to me.

This is me too.
Had a stone and a half weight gain too!