attitudes to hrt - people desperate to avoid it?

[CharityShopChic]

I am 50 this year and so many of my friends are on HRT. I started using patches in January and have seen a huge improvement in my anxiety, sleeping and furious temper.

I am in another online group with people of all ages, although tending to the 40+. Comment made in the Facebook group yesterday about hot flushes and how if the national grid could harness menopausal flushes the energy prices would half. Lots of chat about how awful flushes and other symptoms are. I commented that they should give HRT a try and the patches for me have been life changing.

Nearly everyone in the menopausal age bracket was oooooh no, that's not for me, I'm trying to manage without it, i'm hoping to avoid it etc etc.

What is going on here? I haven't come across this attitude in real life, that succumbing to HRT is some sort of failure? And that it's best to power through without , even if you feel crap? Or are they all just menopause-bonkers?

Also, mum took it for 20 years and had a pretty rough time weaning off of it. The symptoms came straight back when she tried to stop.
That was 10 years ago plus now, I don’t know if things have moved on since.

@ineedsun

I don’t like the idea of it, I fall into the ‘don’t like taking paracetamol’ camp but also can’t get on with other hormone meds - mirena nearly drive me to suicide. So if I can avoid it I will. I hate the fact that some people seem to try and force it on you, very evangelical.

Not sure anyone can force it on you! You have to go to a GP for a start?!

@QuebecBagnet

I’m 46yo and interested in hrt but am most worried about weight gain. Is that a thing

Apparently not.

Some women lose weight on hrt because their sleep and mood improves

Heart health. Heart palpitations are a common sign of peri - hrt stops them. Palpitations can’t be good for us surely?

@latriciamcneal

It just makes sense, surely, that messing around with hormones is not a good idea. It's best avoided, just like all drugs are best avoided.

Have you read the whole thread? There’s quite a lot to explain some of the very important pros of being on HRT. Of course it’s not suitable for everyone but it’s in your best interests to ensure you know more about it before just following your intuition.

@MrsSkylerWhite

Also, mum took it for 20 years and had a pretty rough time weaning off of it. The symptoms came straight back when she tried to stop. That was 10 years ago plus now, I don’t know if things have moved on since.

I think that’s because the symptoms were there? I think this shows that symptoms for some last for years and are not a 1-3 year thing.

@mistermagpie

I'm nearly 42. I am constantly wondering how people know that they are peri menopausal? More recently I seem to have a really short temper and I have zero sex drive, but I also have three little kids so that could be a factor there! Still have regular periods.

What should I be looking out for?

Tracking your periods is a good start, using an app. Keeping an eye on mood, anxiety and brain fog.

Also skin and hair changes can be a sign.

I am happy for everyone to have a choice, but the evangelism of some people is more likely to make me say no to HRT, to be honest. The effects of getting older will happen to all of us, regardless of HRT, & I'm not prepared to medicate in pursuit of some sort of "eternal youth". (Especially if HRT might bring back periods - no thanks!). Perhaps I am lucky to have none of the symptoms some women describe & I'm rather hoping to drop off my perch sooner rather than later - nobody needs to keep going into their 70s, 80s or beyond!

I don’t think hrt can bring back periods?

Women can take hrt while still having periods. Is that what you mean?

@Hbh17

I am happy for everyone to have a choice, but the evangelism of some people is more likely to make me say no to HRT, to be honest. The effects of getting older will happen to all of us, regardless of HRT, & I'm not prepared to medicate in pursuit of some sort of "eternal youth". (Especially if HRT might bring back periods - no thanks!). Perhaps I am lucky to have none of the symptoms some women describe & I'm rather hoping to drop off my perch sooner rather than later - nobody needs to keep going into their 70s, 80s or beyond!

Isn’t it the same for diabetes, statins, asthma etc?

For those with family history of osteo I wish hrt was more discussed to be honest. It’s a miserable debilitating disease

I might be wrong, but I have heard that some women do start bleeding again once they are on HRT - not something I would want to risk, even if it is rare.

Having not had a doctor's appointment for a very, very long time then I would consider 1 or 2 a year to be excessive, and I'm sure a GP's time would be more useful for someone who is actually ill. It would be nice if we could all have our choices respected - that's all.

I had a chat to my GP about this, and she wouldn't even discuss HRT due to the fact I've had cervical cancer and I couldn't take the pill due to horrendous migraines.

I've got a Mirena coil in though, and at 51, touch wood, I still get the odd light period and no symptoms so I'm imagining that is helping.

Periods fluctuate during meno - also due to iron levels and weight. Not sure it’s hrt making that happen.

Each to their own but it’s good to know facts rather than half stories

I would choose not to take statins (altho I have family members who do - that's fine for them). We can get too hung up on our health & I prefer the "benign neglect" approach 🤣

@Hbh17

I would choose not to take statins (altho I have family members who do - that's fine for them). We can get too hung up on our health & I prefer the "benign neglect" approach 🤣

Totally respect that.

Some of us still have to hold down jobs etc but at some point I will enjoy my neglect!

To me, it seems a bit like the 'natural birth' obsession and how everything other than a vaginal birth is considered a failure and to be avoided at all costs.

If some women manage the menopause without needing HRT then that's great for them, but the 'holier than thou' "I sailed through it" smugness is nauseating.

I have a "I've sailed through the menopause" friend who strangely suffers from all manner of other problems such as insomnia, leg aches, mood swings but in her mind these ailments are unrelated.

I am on HRT and it has truly been a life-changer. I've tried to come off it several times and symptoms which severely affect my quality of life returned rapidly every time. It just seems my body absolutely needs a small estrogen top up to function normally.

I would never suggest to my friends that their thyroxine or insulin top -ups were unnecessary, so why do it with Estrogen?

@Jng1

To me, it seems a bit like the 'natural birth' obsession and how everything other than a vaginal birth is considered a failure and to be avoided at all costs.

If some women manage the menopause without needing HRT then that's great for them, but the 'holier than thou' "I sailed through it" smugness is nauseating.

I have a "I've sailed through the menopause" friend who strangely suffers from all manner of other problems such as insomnia, leg aches, mood swings but in her mind these ailments are unrelated.

I am on HRT and it has truly been a life-changer. I've tried to come off it several times and symptoms which severely affect my quality of life returned rapidly every time. It just seems my body absolutely needs a small estrogen top up to function normally.

I would never suggest to my friends that their thyroxine or insulin top -ups were unnecessary, so why do it with Estrogen?

Exactly.

I know some ‘sailors’ and one can’t remember what she’s saying and another has anxiety and poor sleep.

More women need to know it’s not just hot flushes

@Hbh17

I might be wrong, but I have heard that some women do start bleeding again once they are on HRT - not something I would want to risk, even if it is rare.

Having not had a doctor's appointment for a very, very long time then I would consider 1 or 2 a year to be excessive, and I'm sure a GP's time would be more useful for someone who is actually ill. It would be nice if we could all have our choices respected - that's all.

I can't see anyone disrespecting anyone's choice.

Pointing out the benefits and dispelling myths and lack of knowledge is not forcing anyone to do anything.

The OP asked why so many women would not consider HRT.

You don't just see a dr when you are ILL. You can see a dr to ^prevent' illness and maintain health.

As for not wanting to live much beyond 70, worlds fail me. My mother is not many years short of 100 and I am sure she wouldn't have wanted to ditch the last 30 years, enjoying life and her grandchildren.

Having dealt with the horrible side effects from taking the pill and experienced even worse side effects from hormones prescribed to treat a medical problem, there is no chance I would risk taking HRT no matter how bad my symptoms get.

Honestly, I’m skeptical it’s not just being foisted on women to get us to shut up about a naturally difficult time in our life.

I also have itchy sore ears!! Have a ton of other weird symptoms that are leading me towards HRT but hadn't thought the ear issue would be related at all. How much fun this stage of life is.....

I think this is just another way women judge rather than support each other. We are all individual and have different experiences/make up and we should be free to choose the path that is right for us without women not going down the HRT route warning others off it and those doing it thinking the other group are missing a trick.

What I do think is problematic is the level of misinformation circling, eg that it's just a fixed period of time, or how to be 'diagnosed' as perimenopausal, to the risks of HRT, to what menopause actually even is. It's awful and I don't think it would be the same if this involved men. We all deserve to have accurate information on which to base the decision and we seem very far from that.

HRT is worth it for me just for sleep - the insomnia and intrinsically linked the hot flushes waking me at night (the problem wasn't falling asleep in the first place but staying asleep and sleeping again once a hot flush had woken me) were really impacting my quality of life. I had also developed mild bladder weakness following a spate of UTI s. Not awful but needing to go within a few minutes of feeling the urge, and this happening every 90 minutes to 2 hours absolute maximum. This was on my mind at work, impacting my exercise habits (I usually do a decent hike on non work days and could no longer do the same distances unless I planned in areas I'd be able to be sure I could pee unobserved 😳)... and my bladder was waking me up at night obviously...

My teen DD is a sweetheart and I've been deliberately open without details about menopause and the fact that you don't have to just accept the symptoms. She jokingly refers to it as the "metamorphosis" and is very concerned that I need to go through menopause eventually and am just putting it off. I think she sees it like puberty - nobody wants the acne and mood swings but you need to go through it to come out the other side. I have told her why it's not directly comparable but she teases me that I need to metamorphosise into an old lady one day - I suspect that's a common view.

@SpinningTheSeedsOfLove

My GP still pushes the 'HRT causes breast cancer' line. She's in her (maybe) early 30s, so can't be that long out of her GP training. When I asked to discuss the NICE guidelines on HRT she claimed to not know what they were.

Very strange.

But anyway, I do think the over-exaggeration of breast cancer risks remains a factor, as pp said.

During their training, GPs spend next to no time at all studying the menopause. They know diddly squat about it.

Although I think it's great that HRT can help protect women who take it from osteoporosis I think it's worth pointing out for those who can't or choose not to that there are other ways to improve and maintain bone health. Weight-bearing exercise, making sure there's enough calcium in your diet and taking vitamin d supplements can all help.

'To me, it seems a bit like the 'natural birth' obsession and how everything other than a vaginal birth is considered a failure and to be avoided at all costs.'

It isn't that. It is more the evidence is conflicting and for every study stating its benefits you'll find another contradicting it or stating risk factors.

Women aren't stupid, I don't agree with this it must be down to education/ knowledge thing. If they have a dm in her 70s/80s in good health, without osteoporosis or dementia who hasn't taken hrt then there is every chance the same will apply to them.

We could do with balanced info. For example if Davina does another doc or when This Morning feature Louise Newson (a Dr with a private clinic so obviously a vested interest) they also need to feature HCPs who don't advocate hrt and explain why.

I have friends and family in peri/post some of us on hrt some of us not. We all support each other, there isn't any judging. Some people seem to tolerate depleted oestrogen better than others.

Women need more definitive, current, conclusive info regarding the risks and benefits particularly the alleged dementia protection.