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Menopause

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Original poster

Menopause and work

74 replies

fruckkkit · 06/10/2021 13:28

I'm in peri - it's affecting my sleep, my moods (PMT lasting weeks instead of days), my ability to concentrate or rationalise some (a lot of) days, and I do a job that is quite demanding and requires me to be calm, polite and unfailingly helpful.

There are several days a month where tbh I no longer feel capable of actually doing my job now - and today is one of them! I slept like shit last night, I have bad period pains, I can't think straight to get some complex spreadsheet stuff finished, I have emails and queries coming out of my ears, and right now I just want to tell everyone to fuck off and go and cry in bed whilst mainlining the box of cream slices I have in the fridge.

My line manager is great, but I can't imagine he wants to hear about my 'lady problems', he's pretty old school and I think he would be mortified. Plus how does he deal with me saying 'ya know about half the month now I'm probably going to be a bit shit at my job, sorrrreeeeee'?!

How do you actually go about a conversation at work about these kinds of issues? I feel like it's just expected we buck up and get on with it - our office has a lot of women in it but other than a bit of general moaning about hot flushes I've never ever heard anyone talk about the menopause seriously or recognise the impact it can have when you're trying to do your job (and failing in my case!)

OP posts:
HardStaringBearFromDarkestPeru · 07/10/2021 07:05

If you can try talking to your GP & get a blood test to see where your hormones are at then discuss further options.

However this depends on whether you can actually contact your GP, they will have enough test tubes to do bloods then the practice has a GP that knows anything about the menopause... all of which are massive hurdles to cross.

If you can get on HRT then it can help things but as a PP says, it might be difficult to get the right type. Do your own research - I've found the menopausematters.co.uk & menopauseandme.co..uk can be helpful

  • as it can help if you are talking to your GP about this.

But please do something.
I wasn't persistent enough with my GP who assured me that at 41-42, I was way to young to be perimenopausal.
I've been on HRT 2.5 years thanks to a young locum GP that actually paid attention to what I was saying.

Sadly it's been too late in two areas for me.
I have vaginal atrophy & all the HRT, Vagifem, Ovestin, dilators, vaginal moisturises, etc in the world are not making it possible to have PiV sex.
Plus my bone density scans over the past few years have confirmed that I do have the beginnings of osteoporosis - first scan at 46 & second scan a few weeks ago at 49.

oneglassandpuzzled · 07/10/2021 07:34

You don’t need blood test for HRT if you’re over 45. GP should prescribe on symptoms.

thedevilinablackdress · 07/10/2021 08:01

I read about ASOS' approach today:

www.theguardian.com/business/2021/oct/07/asos-offers-staff-flexible-work-and-paid-leave-during-menopause

Level75 · 07/10/2021 09:27

From a legal perspective we have protection on the grounds of sex, age and probably disability. So if anyone here is genuinely at risk of being fired, it's worth pointing that out to HR.

ilovebrie8 · 07/10/2021 11:52

I had a terrible time I was 42 when symptoms started and only got HRT when I was on the brink of a breakdown...doctors no help I was in a bad place. HRT has stopped the night sweats which were awful but I’ve still got symptoms ...I feel my life has been destroyed ...

Darkchocolateandcoffee · 07/10/2021 11:56

@Level75

HRT anyone? You don't have to suffer. And 45 isn't too young despite what you may have heard.
100pc this
whatisforteamum · 07/10/2021 14:43

I felt your pain

12 hour days in a boiling hot kitchen with sharp knives.🤣
I'm on hrt and much better but the brain fog being surround by young men just waiting for me to f.ck up.Hideous.

Runaround50 · 07/10/2021 16:01

Ilovebrie8, I’m the same.
Hrt has stopped my flushes but that’s it. It doesn’t matter what I take or how much, the anxiety, forgetfulness, heart palpitations remain. Insomnia is awful too.

Life feels over for me.

ilovebrie8 · 07/10/2021 20:03

@Runaround50 that is me to a t! Heart palpitations and insomnia are killing me at moment ...I’m at my wits end ...

Runaround50 · 07/10/2021 20:23

@ilovebrie8 what HRT are you on?
How do we sort this?

BooseysMom · 08/10/2021 01:44

*Hrt has stopped my flushes but that’s it. It doesn’t matter what I take or how much, the anxiety, forgetfulness, heart palpitations remain. Insomnia is awful too.

Life feels over for me*

Absolutely feeling the same. I stopped my hrt as i felt it wasn't cutting through the symptoms. I'm 49. I was going to get a coil but decided against that and now I'm back to square one with the added joy of high bp which the male doctors say isn't hormone related but is always far higher when the period is about to start.
I'm making awful decisions at work, acting on knee jerk reactions and know I'll never get promoted as I've been told I can't take time off at the drop of a hat. I care for my 7 yo son and 84 yo father and it's just impossible to go on like this. I'm just drowning atm.

Darkchocolateandcoffee · 08/10/2021 06:40

@BooseysMom I don't know what your reasons for deciding against the Mirena are, but I swear by mine.

That plus Oestrogel and I am a new woman.

Aphrodite31 · 08/10/2021 06:44

Swimming. Body scrub. Walking. Sunshine. Tomatoes. Olive oil. Playing the piano. And going easy on yourself.

The brain fog is a bit of a bugger, though. Just catch the thoughts when you can.

BooseysMom · 08/10/2021 06:48

@Darkchocolateandcoffee.. I was just a big wuss when it came to fitting it as I had one years ago and my god the pain was like contractions!! I will need to go back and get it done I expect but in the meantime I have a whole load of hrt I still haven't used.

Darkchocolateandcoffee · 08/10/2021 07:01

Oh no! I do get that. I'm on my second Mirena and both were fine going in but I do know that I'm lucky.

Hattie765 · 08/10/2021 07:05

Does your company have a menopause policy? Our HR just introduced one after a number of women asked for it, can you approach them? You can also sign up to the following which has ideas how you can involve employers. www.wellbeingofwomen.org.uk/campaigns/menopausepledge

milcal · 08/10/2021 07:12

I take magnesium for the insomnia. It seems to work and now sleeping better although still wake but do go back to sleep again quickly.

Flapjak · 08/10/2021 07:19

Same here, brain fog, lack of patience, lack of motivation except for box sets and cake. Work.is a chore. HRT has definately taken the edge off , i sleep some nights, less achey, less sweaty, no strange anxiety moments. Have upped the dosage so hoping that will improve the brain fog. Anyone in their earky 40s with symptoms / change of periods should consider they may be in 'perimenopause' and GP can test hormome levels. Over 45 they should just prescribe HRT . Dont suffer or be fobbed off with anti depressants

isitweds9thseptyet · 08/10/2021 07:29

My closet friend works for a company who have just launched their menopause policy. So you could ask HR if you have one. It should set out what reasonable adjustments they agree they should make.

Talk to gp if you havent already.

If you don't want to talk menopause at work. Can you keep it vague and say i am struggling with a number of health issues at the moment and need some flexibility and support.

ilovebrie8 · 08/10/2021 08:04

@Runaround50 I’m on evorel conti patches but it’s not doing the job I’m a mess. I was on kliofem for a few years which are stronger and I’m going to ask my doctor to put me back on them ...I tried patches as they are supposed to be a safer option than pills but am still left with all the symptoms you described I remember nothing , can’t sleep, have palpitations I’m barely functioning...I wouldn’t wish this on anyone ...

ilovebrie8 · 08/10/2021 08:05

Am also on citalopram to take the edge off things ...

missfliss · 08/10/2021 09:44

I'm so sorry if this is unhelpful or accidentally rubbing peoples faces in things - I know that I am lucky here.

However if it helps anyone else reading this I wanted to say how much of a massive massive difference oestrogel has already made to me a mere three weeks in.

I start taking the progesterone element on Saturday - so I'm not giving an entire answer here and I may struggle possibly with progesterone too - some do.

However so far the oestrogel is amazing - energy and zip etc so so much better. Aching joints gone, anxiety much less, palpitations less, no night sweats or waking for a wee. Brain fog a zillion times better. Feel like I can keep working which is a relief as main breadwinner in family with disabled child.

JollyHostess · 08/10/2021 10:49

All those with palpitations, can you ask your GP about Propranolol? I find it incredibly helpful, take it when needed and it doesn't have side effects.

ilovebrie8 · 08/10/2021 13:07

@JollyHostess thanks I will ask my gp ...will it be ok alongside HRT do you know? Thanks

TupilaLilium · 08/10/2021 13:13

If HRT is not contraindicated I can't recommend it enough.

I've been on it for about 6 months and I don't have rage anymore at work. Things are stupid and annoying, but I can cope.

I am 47. It is a gift. I went via Neswom and it was money well spent. My GP now very reluctantly on board.