Why am I so fucking angry and what can I do about it?

[youareminebestfavourite]

Just turned 45 and it's like a switch has been flipped.
I am so fucking angry all the time... I have usually been very even tempered, haven't even really suffered with PMT since I was a teenager.
However recently I feel like a different person... at first I just felt 'harder', like I wasn't going to put up with anyone's shit anymore- which was actually quite liberating. Unfortunately that bit seems to have tipped over into being very short tempered. I've lost my temper to the point of shouting two nights in a row now and I'm not enjoying it at all.
I'm being a proper bitch to my husband and kids and I just don't know what to do about it.
Normal calming things like exercise don't seem to be working. It's like a massive deep well of rage that I can't calm.
Does anyone else feel like this?!

I was exactly the same OP. Irrational rage. I shocked myself and was so unhappy. HRT solved all my problems and I ft human again.

Caitlin moran wrote about this, she said middle aged women lose their rise tinted glasses and fully see how shit and unfair do many big and small things are

This is a bit of a myth. You do not have to put up with irrational rage, it isn't the same as being assertive.

Get some oestrogen gel if you can. It’s important for you cardiovascular, brain and bone health to get onto it BEFORE you go fully into menopause.

I'm trying to distinguish between what is irrational and what is actually a change in perspective. This is what I am struggling with and this is one of the reasons I want to seek counselling to determine. There is no doubt that hormones are fuelling it in my case but I'm not sure I can put it all down to this. I think it is definitely a time for reflection.

All I can say is I wish I'd not had those angry years.

Oh my god

For the last 4 years. I've suddenly turned into this angry monster. I've recently had the hot flashes.

I got given beta blockers for some high blood pressure and out my anger down to that as it then disappeared!

However. Menopause!!!! Why the duck didn't I think of that!

Help though. I can't take HrT!

Worth reading this book.. I am half way through.
[[https://www.amazon.co.uk/Wisdom-Menopause-Creating-Physical-Emotional/dp/0553386727/ref=mp_s_a_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=christine+northrup+menopause&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1603449431&sr=8-1 Christiane Northrop]]

I'm 53 and I've been angry for about 10 years

Is there a natural alternative to HRT?

I could of wrote this. I'm sure my kids and dh hate me at the minute. I can't stop screaming at dh he gives me the most rage. It's making me exhausted. I've started taking well women to see if they make a difference. I tried HRT but I felt so vacant and just weird that I came off it. One minute I'm screaming, the next I'm crying uncontrollably. I've had to come to bed to get out the way before I start another argument.

I really fucking hate this and the worse thing is I can't even have a drink to calm me down, I've completely gone off alcohol 😳 even if I did have a glass the hangover lasts for a week it's just not worth it. 😭😭😭😭😭

I use to be so happy and carefree, now I'm an angry tired looking mess and it's shit.

@Radiatornoise

Is there a natural alternative to HRT?

No.

@Radiatornoise - yeah! There are heaps of natural alternatives. They’re usually hideously expensive. Do they work? Not really.

@pourmethevino

I could of wrote this. I'm sure my kids and dh hate me at the minute. I can't stop screaming at dh he gives me the most rage. It's making me exhausted. I've started taking well women to see if they make a difference. I tried HRT but I felt so vacant and just weird that I came off it. One minute I'm screaming, the next I'm crying uncontrollably. I've had to come to bed to get out the way before I start another argument.

I really fucking hate this and the worse thing is I can't even have a drink to calm me down, I've completely gone off alcohol 😳 even if I did have a glass the hangover lasts for a week it's just not worth it. 😭😭😭😭😭

I use to be so happy and carefree, now I'm an angry tired looking mess and it's shit.

Try another type of HRT and be kind to yourself x

Radiatornoise

My gp recommended black cohosh as I can't use HRT. Only had a few days so can't really say if they've worked. I'll keep you posed good and/or bad.

Thank you! Fingers crossed for you 🤞

Thank you for this thread. I don't have anything to add, but am reading with interest.

I'm 41 and I have recently started to notice the anger building. I have always had a temper, but it used to take a lot for me to lose it. Suddenly I just don't care anymore. As others have said, in some ways it's quite fun, but I would like to get a better handle on it. I'm not at the menopause yet, but the tips about sugar and multivitamins are helpful, will definitely check that out.