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Menopause

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I didn't have a Menopause

148 replies

Anordinarymum · 14/07/2020 09:58

..as such.

I don't mean I didn't go through it as I am sure I did, but my periods just stopped at 49. I never had hot flushes or night sweats. I did not gain weight or go doolally. I just carried on as normal. When I asked my doctor about it she told me lots of women are the same but you don't hear about them do you?

Just sayin.......

OP posts:
Imissmoominmama · 15/07/2020 13:49

@Anordinarymum- I had a hip replacement earlier this year; it’s been life changing.

Abraid2 · 15/07/2020 13:58

It's not just physical symptoms that can strike women in menopause.

It can be a horrible flat feeling, that nothing is going to provide joy again.

My specialist also told me that hot flushes and night sweats can be linked to future cardiovascular problems and it was worth controlling them with oestrogen. My menopause wasn't bad by any stretch of the imagination, but it's worth thinking of future-proofing your body.

BiBabbles · 15/07/2020 14:05

Much like with menstruation, pregnancy, and labour, there just isn't as much to say about things when they go well and far less need for information or additional resources. I think it's important for girls and women to have a realistic idea that doesn't make everything fear doom and gloom, there isn't much to put out there beyond X% will get through with minimal if any issues.

Also, like those things, there is very much a 'get on with it' attitude towards those who struggle so rightfully there is a lot more focus there. Menopause in general is pretty underrepresented and while things like the Menopause Cafe and similar discussion groups are trying to correct that, it's pretty hard for everyone, especially if they're struggling and medical professions disregard NICE guidelines for their 'get on with it' attitude.

I mean, my periods disappeared at 28 and I got told by a doctor to enjoy not having to buy pads. It took over 5 years of increasingly horrible symptoms before a doctor finally stopped just going 'it's early menopause, it'll pass', actually looked through my result with me, and it turned out, I wasn't ever menopausal at all and my test results had never suggested it. My ovaries were and have always been fine, the issue was entirely different, but had created a knock-on effect through my entire endocrine system which gave me very sparse irregular periods and menopause-like symptoms. That's what the current atmosphere - even when NICE says otherwise - creates.

For all those suggesting HRT for bone density, do you know if there is an alternative for those of us who can't have HRT?

Most recommendations I've seen are diet and lifestyle-based, weight-bearing exercises are particularly viewed as important as is having nutritional blood checks to keep an eye out for any deficiencies that will impact them.

totallyyesno · 15/07/2020 16:06

I have had bad perimenopausal symptoms and have been diagnosed with osteopoenia but nobody has suggested HRT. Is it normally started after menopause or leading up to it?

Deadringer · 15/07/2020 16:13

i was very lucky, had a few very heavy periods, and hot flushes on and off for maybe a year and that was it. I never suffered too badly with my periods either generally, very regular and only moderately heavy. I am fat though, and finding it impossible to shift the weight since i turned 50. Sad

JinglingHellsBells · 15/07/2020 16:37

For all those suggesting HRT for bone density, do you know if there is an alternative for those of us who can't have HRT?

It depends what the question is.

@Defaultuser You'd need to be more specific if it's for you. There are drugs for bone density that are used with women who have had breast cancer and who cannot use HRT, but it can be complicated and it needs an oncologist to sort it out along with a bone specialist.

HRT is not given as such for bone density - it's given to women with early or premature menopause to prevent bone loss.

In older women under 60 it is licensed for bone loss if those women can't use other drugs or maybe they still have menopause symptoms.

Women who have had menopause at the normal age ( 51 ish) should get plenty of exercise (weight bearing) and eat at least 1000mg calcium a day, plus enough Vit D.

This is not enough on its own for women who have had early menopause though.

Defaultuser · 15/07/2020 17:13

@JinglingHellsBells thank you. I was meaning to ask the oncologist the next time I saw her anyway but none of this has been mentioned before.

JinglingHellsBells · 15/07/2020 18:03

@Defaultuser I thought that if women were young and had no ovaries or loss of fertility before 40/ 45, it was standard treatment to protect their bones? Obviously I don't know your circs and don't want to pry.

hippochoc · 15/07/2020 18:21

Haven't read the whole thread but same as op, periods dwindled, stopped and that's it. That was over 2 years ago.
I don't miss them one bit.

bellinisurge · 15/07/2020 18:25

Op, in the nicest possible way, fuck off with your "I barely felt it".

notangelinajolie · 15/07/2020 18:58

I had no menopause symptoms either. I was only 37. I had a baby and my periods just never came back. I had endometriosis so I was quite happy never to have another period ever again. It did mean though I couldn't have any more babies Sad

Actually - there is one symptom. My hair has practically all fallen out.

BIWI · 15/07/2020 18:58

@bellinisurge

Op, in the nicest possible way, fuck off with your "I barely felt it".
How is 'fuck off' "in the nicest possible way"?

Have you read the rest of the thread?

isthismylifenow · 15/07/2020 19:21

I had my yearly check with the gynae yesterday so I was chatting to him about menopause. I'm 50 and don't think I'm there yet. Usually he would do a sonar scan and from that can see eggs behaviour, but thanks to a power cut I didn't get to see my inner workings. He did say that in my country the average age for menopause is 50 so I just have to wait and see.

He did mention mood swings and dry skin, I said perhaps I've been menopausal all my life....

Defaultuser · 15/07/2020 19:34

@JinglingHellsBells they've not mentioned it yet but I'm still receiving treatment so maybe that's to come later

Ohffs66 · 15/07/2020 20:40

@Abraid2

It's not just physical symptoms that can strike women in menopause.

It can be a horrible flat feeling, that nothing is going to provide joy again.

My specialist also told me that hot flushes and night sweats can be linked to future cardiovascular problems and it was worth controlling them with oestrogen. My menopause wasn't bad by any stretch of the imagination, but it's worth thinking of future-proofing your body.

The flat part is exactly how I feel atm. I'm 47 and the last few months my ankles and feet have been aching in the morning, my periods have gone weird, and I feel so flat. I was attributing the flatness to lockdown but even now when things are starting to get a bit more normal, I still feel like it. I have a horrible feeling that my physical symptoms may not be too bad (fingers crossed!) but that the mental impact is going to be worse for me.. I get really bad PMT mood swings and anxiety anyway and I feel like it's getting worse, and with no discernible pattern (whereas before I knew if I felt like that it would just be a few days, then another few days and my period would start).
damnthatanxiety · 15/07/2020 20:44

it's the 'just sayin'. That is definitely smug and said with rolling eyes

Abraid2 · 15/07/2020 21:14

Ohffs66

It’s a horrible feeling. Don’t be like me and let it grow. It saps you. I feel better in myself since I’ve had HRT. More able to look forward and see that even now there are still good things and fun can be had. 🌼

Nanalisa60 · 15/07/2020 21:26

I think it maybe something to do with your genes , I remember my mum saying she never had a problem with menopause, I had my last period on the month of my 50 birthday as normal, next month nothing that was it no hot flushes not sleep problems. When I hear about how hard it is for other women I realise how lucky I was.
So ask you mum how hers went and it might give you a idea how yours is going to go.

Azaleah · 18/07/2020 13:05

Hello everyone, OP long may it continue! Smile I had a terrible perimenopause, long and full of weird symptoms but now that I'm postmenopause (4 years) I feel much better and I'm not on HRT. I have annual DEXA scans to monitor bones.
I wonder where these statistics come from? 80% of women will have menopause symptoms? I mean, there are so many different menopause symptoms and each woman is different!

EBearhug · 18/07/2020 15:03

I suppose every woman who has been through it will have at least one symptom, which is no period for at least a year, because that's the main way it's defined.

Azaleah · 18/07/2020 16:01

Yes, of course. I'm reference to bad symptoms though. Stopping having periods is absolutely WONDERFUL Grin

Azaleah · 18/07/2020 16:02

Referring to Hmm

daisypond · 18/07/2020 16:18

I didn’t really have any symptoms either. I get the occasional hot sweat at night, but not often. My hair suffered, though - dry and it seems to fall out. I can’t take HRT, though, so maybe I have had to minimise things.

Pipandmum · 18/07/2020 16:25

Same here. My periods started getting irregular when I was about 54 and now I haven't had one for over a year (I'm 58). No other symptoms at all. Same with a couple friends, though more have had hot flushes and the like, but only the minority bad enough to go on HRT. It isn't a universally horrendous time.

Azaleah · 18/07/2020 16:56

Thanks ladies, very interesting. I live in Brazil and I don't have any friends or family going through menopause who have bad symptoms so I had to join this wonderful website!

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