Perimenopausal and gaining weight - tearing my hair out!

[StarburstSurprise]

I have been bleeding for around 3 months, feeling stressed and angry that I am gaining weight - about a stone overweight although exercising most days when I have the energy. Hardly any of my clothes fit me and I feel a frumpy mess. Any tips for losing this weight and feeling better?

Sorry no tips , except I'm exactly the same. It is really getting me down. I've lost 9lbs since December and this week 3 back on. I've paid a lot of money on therapy and NOTHING is working. I'm in tears daily after I've weighed myself. It's really getting me down now.
I'm already dreading the summer because I know I'll look awful. Some days I'm so pissed off I don't want to leave the house. It's causing rows with my partner because I'm so fed up. If anyone has the answer I'd be glad to hear it.
Sorry for the rant

Weight is 90% what you eat -exercise won't help that much.
Try Carol Vordamanns detox diet, a bit extreme but works for me.

3 months is a long time to be bleeding, that must be awful.

What exercise are you doing? I’ve started a beginners yoga class on YouTube (Fightmaster) and I was already walking a bit more, so far, it seems to be helping.

Have you seen a Dr? You might be anaemic.

Seen a dr, he says all normal, that perimenopause could go on for years!
I do weights, aerobics type classes, yoga, dog walking. I eat healthily, make almost everything from scratch, but I do like a drink .

Peri and full menopause means (unfortunately), you can't expect to do the same as you did before and get the same results.

Weight loss comes predominantly from what you put in your body, not exercise.

Keep the exercise up as it's good for your fitness and overall help.

But if you want to lose weight, you'll have to adjust to a new way of eating. Not diet, but a permanent change.

The alcohol needs to reduce because you won't process it as easy as before.
Your calorie intake during peri and full menopause will need to be reduced further if you want to prevent the weight gain. It's shit, but it's just a fact of life.

You need to weight up (no pun intended) if the misery you may get from reducing your calories further outweighs the desire to lose the weight.

Also, don't be sucked in to the "I cook from scratch" myth in that you think that means you should be thin.
Calories are calories. 500 calories of homemade stew and 500 calories of McDonalds is still 500 calories. Yes, the homemade stew is better for you healthwise. But for purely weigh, they are the same.
Carry on with homemade food, but you need to drop your portion sizes.

I started using MyFitnessPal when I piled on some weight and it really did help.

I would think ‘am I hungry or do I just fancy that?’ And it kept me on track for calories and activity.

I used to have the ability to eat and drink like a horse on steroids and maintain a size 8 but then it just all slowed down and I put on the beef.

It’s back in again now so I joined a gym yesterday, started counting my steps etc and will go back to having egg whites on a close of bread for brekkie, cut down in Kit Kat’s and wine etc.

I hear you... lose it app helped me work out where my cals are coming from. It’s quite an eye opener because bootcamp etc only burn up about a piece of toast and a small glass of wine. So on most days I really need to eat less. It’s helpwd keep my weight even this past year. Hrt has also helped with sleep as when tired I eat more.

Right, I will start using MFP, I have used it before but I need to stick to it. The alcohol will be reduced to special occasions, or could I have a few drinks at the weekend do you think? Sleep is good, I usually get around 7 hrs a night depending on night sweats. Thank you all, wish you well in your endeavours.

What about Almased? Any good?

I’m 51 and at the height of the menopause. Unfortunately it’s true you just can’t eat as much as you used to, weight will go on easier and exercise alone won’t shift the weight. I gained a stone last year and was determined to lose it. I’ve been doing the 16/8 intermittent fasting, it worked quite quickly and has become a way of life. I lost the weight in about 3 months and now I fast 3 days a week to keep it off.

I'm not a huge fan of meal replacements. I'd much rather just eat.

Cut back a bit on the and find some 300 calorie meals that you actually enjoy for lunch.

You'll be fine

Oh and I love wine but only drink on Friday and Saturday nights, no booze the rest of the week.

I pretty much only drink at the weekends and then far less than i did - wine etc does add up and affects my sleep. On the plus side (🙄) it takes less alcohol to feel drunk!

@StarburstSurprise You've had some good advice re weight ( basically you have to eat less as middle age approcahes- cut right back for life, your body just doesn't need that much food now.)

BUT you have been given crap advice from your GP!!!

How much blood are you losing? If this is a full-on 3 month period you are likely to be anaemic.

You do NOT have to accept this level of blood loss and it's not normal.

There are options- maybe a Mirena coil, tablets like Northisterone to stop the bleeding, the mini pill or the contraceptive pill. Very heavy bleeding might warrant an ablation.

Please go back to your GP and refuse to accept his/ her view it's all normal. If they can't offer better than that, insist on a referral to a gynae with an interest in menopause.

The only thing that’s worked for me is to give up alcohol & cut down my calories to about 1400 a day. I also exercise quite a bit ..a class every day & walk a lot.

I dread to think k what size I’d be happy if I ate the same amount as before.

On the bleeding it was a sign of fibroids for me. As others said you really shouldn’t be suffering this & need to get back to the doctor

Thank you JinglingHellsBells, I had a test a year ago and results came back as normal. I have tried mirena coil, pill, etc but my grandmother died at age of 4 due to the effects of hormones. I know the only vice left is alcohol but it helps blot out past as I was abused as a child. I know that alcohol is a depressant, so undoing all the many years of therapy, but for me alcohol is a blessed relief. I have a supportive DH but he says he sees me as being just the same as years ago, despite the fact that I am obviously much larger .

missyB1, that is good news that drinking weekends is ok

@StarburstSurprise To be honest, a test for anaemia a year ago is far too long ago. You can become anaemic in weeks if you bleed daily.

Are you spotting or is it a proper flow?

I don't advise you to worry about whatever happened to your grandmother decades ago. (What did happen?)

Modern treatments are very different to whatever was used 30, 40 or 50 years ago. Women don't die from hormone treatments now.
Are you talking about HRT?

If you have an issue with alcohol, there is a part of MN where you can post on that. You could also go to AA yourself, or see your GP for advice and signposts as to where to go, or call the free helpline on MIND.

It sounds as if the weight gain is more about drinking and your emotional issues.

my grandmother died at age of 4 due to the effects of hormones what does this mean OP? I realise you don't actually mean '4' but what do you mean by 'died from hormones'? I was going tis suggest HRT which h as been a godsend to me and others I know but I am concerned about this whole 'dying from hormones'. It sounds a little like something vague families repeat but doesn't really mean anything.

If you have an alcohol dependency issue, it will do your health far more harm than any safe types of hormones. How many units a week do you drink and are you drinking to get drunk? You say it blots out the emotions. Surely you need to get back into therapy if you are using drink to blot out these thoughts?

JinglingHellsBells, I was in therapy for many years with a few different drs and I feel it will do me no more good. Grandmother died from thrombosis aged 40, due to taking the pill, I have therefore not been able to take hormones. I drink 20-30 units of alcohol per week, yes, too much but gp not worried when I told him.

Oh, and spotting between heavy bleeding - gp not concerned though. You speak as though you are a medical professional - should I get a second opinion?

20-30 units of alcohol is an awful lot for someone in their late 40s, which I assume you are. I understand your explanation for why you're using it, but it seems to be making you feel angry and stressed with yourself which is the least helpful frame of mind for anyone to be in.

Not only is it very calorific, but it will make other peri symptoms like sleep, sweating, anxiety, mood swings and tiredness much worse.

Three months of bleeding isn't normal - try a female GP for a more empathic and thorough consideration of your bleeding.

It would also be worth having your thyroid, vitamin 12 and iron levels checked. Low thyroid is very common in middle aged women, causing weight gain, tiredness, low mood etc.

Best of luck.

@StarburstSurprise I'm sorry to hear about your therapy and the fact you feel it won't help further.

You are sometimes using double the limit of alcohol a week (14 units) and you cannot carry on like that and get away with it (in terms of your health.) I don't believe your GP wasn't worried and if they weren't they are not advising you properly.

The HRT used now is no way related to the Pill your gran used decades ago. There is too much to explain here, but basically the estrogen in modern HRT is identical to our own and doesn't cause blood clots.

Please accept that your drinking is doing you far more harm. It raises your risk of breast cancer more than HRT, and being overweight raises your risk of all cancers.

I am a health writer so I write on women's health and to do so I speak to consultants for information as well as studying research.

I can understand why you want to minimise your drinking, but you have to try to accept it's a problem- you have a psychological dependence on alcohol to blot out your emotions.

Alcohol makes all peri meno symptoms worse.

Please seriously consider having therapy again, or at least going to AA to discuss your drinking. Maybe your husband can support you in this.