Just can't sleep

[ParsleyPot]

Is there anyone else who is really tired all day, but still can't sleep at night?

I don't drink alcohol or caffeinated anything.

I exercise 30 - 60 mins daily, Pilates or swimming.

On HRT gel and progesterone tablets.

All tips, even the obvious are welcome.

TIA

Joining the no-sleep club. I am on my knees with exhaustion. HRT helped a lot, but had to come off it and my sleep pattern is now worse than it was before the HRT.

Can’t help thinking if men had the menopause this insomnia stuff would have been sorted ages ago!

Ha ha Theemoji, this is so true.

I used to wake up at 3 am and not get back to sleep so I used to take B3 from Holland and Barrett. I did take more than one a night however. I found 3 nightly really helped my sleep last longer.

In the end though unfortunately it was giving me headaches so after a few years of it I have come off.

I think I will just take Kalms Night here and there. As my sleep isn't as bad as before. I don't get many proper periods now so think the symptoms have eased somewhat.

Just bought some magnesium supplements. Fingers crossed.

Another night... good luck everyone!

Hope it's a good one. zzzzzz

Can I ask if anyone else has really vivid - and usually bad - dreams? I'm not sure if it's menopause or the HRT I'm on, but after another bad night last night I wondered if anyone had suggestions for dealing with these.

I had really unpleasant dreams last night - I can still remember three separate scenarios which were really vivid and stressful - in one, for eg I was at work and wasn't prepared for the presentation I was giving and everything was falling apart and I knew it but was struggling on feeling my stress levels rising massively and ended up bursting into tears in front of an unimpressed audience.

These dreams mean I half wake, drop off again, am in another stress laden situation - and this continues through the night until I get up exhausted in the morning. I'd rather NOT sleep than sleep like this, frankly. It means that when I wake my stress level is through the roof - I'm not only shattered but I'm feeling panicky and flight or fight. It's a hideous way to start the day.

Just wondering if anyone else has had experience of this, and if they had a solution?

Yep I have horrendous dreams too. I'm usually thankful that at least I must have slept, but it can't be the best sleep. No advice, sorry. But I sympathise.

I do a random thing to get to sleep - it takes a few nights to work, but then it's like my brain realised "Oh, she's doing that thing, that means it's time for sleep" and off I go!

Basically, I imagine my eyes are like laser pointers or something, and I 'write' the word S L E E P (other words are available ) over and over and over again. If I feel my thoughts wandering, I consciously pull them back to writing S L E E P again.

It does take practice but definitely works for me!

Timeforanotherchange poor you, I suffer from bad dreams too, but mainly if I eat too close to bedtime.

I need a gap of four or five hours between eating and sleeping.

Chipinthesugar I'm going to give your idea a go tonight!

To those of you enduring vivid dreams I increased my magnesium supplement the other night and literally from that night on I slept much more deeply with less vivid dreams when I go for a wee. I get back to sleep quicker too.

I principally took it to help migraines and joint pain but if it gives better sleep too then I am all for it!

I also bought a better brand vit d3 (Solgar) which is also high strength for joint pains.

I really do try to keep supplements to a minimum but I am convinced these are worth taking.

What dose of magnesium do you take? I've stopped taking it as I felt it wasn't helping and something is giving me a rash on my face - can't work out if it's that.

I take 500 mg of magnesium now. Morning and evening 250 mg it is from Holland & Barrett and has calcium also.

I will probably move to a better brand when I run out, depending on finances. As I find Solgar really good.

It is bliss having really good sleeps night on night these days. I didn't even buy the Kalms Night in the end.

The other thing is I bought a new mattress earlier this year and this winter have slept the best in years.

I've been taking magnesium as someone suggested it - I'm just going to check the dosage! I just take at night, so maybe increasing it will help.

Ok, I have 250mg - and have been taking one at night. I think I might take 2 tonight - and then maybe try one morning and night from now on. Does that sound reasonable? I've got an excellent mattress, so that has helped.

Yes it is weird how much a new mattress has helped me this winter, after years of terrible winter sleeps.

If I had known that sooner oh well lol.

If magnesium on its own doesn't do enough you may wish to try B3 from Holland and Barrett. I took 3 every night with a glass of water although the maximum dose is one tablet. I researched online and it didn't say to take that small an amount. I found just one or two B3 wasn't enough.

When I did start taking 3 doses B3 nightly in 3 nights I was saved. It was miserable waking up at 3 am every night and that was in the summer too.

The only reason I stopped was after 3 years I got headaches from them.

We should also remember to turn our mattress around regularly.

Boy it is hard work keeping up with our bodies!

@PollyPelargonium52 Thank you so much for the advice - I'm willing to try anything to attempt to sleep!

I do honestly feel that if I could only sleep I could cope with anything. It's being so utterly exhausted all the time that makes all the minor shitty bits about menopause feel huge and insurmountable.

On the subject of mattresses I spent £1300 on one about 2 years ago (on monthly HP of about £30). This amount seemed utterly ridiculous until my sister told me, people spend thousands on a car - yet you spend 8 hours out of every 24 in bed; should you not spend more money on that? which suddenly struck me as eminently sensible.

Yes I could kick myself for not replacing my mattress sooner. It was financially not possible or so I thought but I bought a nice one on ebay for £170. Next time I will spend a lot more though and I also buy a new topper every year or two.

I forget to turn it around regularly then I wonder why I am sloping in bed lol.

@PollyPelargonium52. I come from a family where my mother was notorious for having dreadfully uncomfortable beds all through our childhood! She bought them at house auctions for about £2 each and came back triumphantly proud of her bargains...It has taken me until my 50s to realise it may actually be better to occasionally spend more money on something as vital as sleep.😁

I'm currently at in-laws sharing a dreadful, small bed with DH and wondering if MIL is going to point out how much weight I've out on every day we are here. She has done so far and I feel even more shit than I did. Biting my tongue very hard for DHs sake as it will upset him if I give her a mouthful and I know he will take my side against his mother, but would rather just ignore her. Almost every conversation takes the lines of and the pair of you need to lose some weight and I'm desperately trying not to say that is horribly rude and unkind. Have you got no manners? I am aware I've put a lot of weight on this year and actually I'm really upset about it. The very last thing I need is you making me feel even more shit about myself.

Feeling menopausal and utterly pissed off with life at the moment.

@TimeforanotherChange Ignore the silly old bag.

Lack of sleep is linked to unwanted weight gain and you just don't need comments like hers keeping you awake.

IF I had to stay at a place with a really uncomfortable mattress I would either keep my stay to an absolute minimum or refuse to go.

Any chance of packing a blow up air bed next time?