Useful things for surviving the menopause

[Egghead68]

I’ve found these cooling pads helpful at night:

www.<a class="break-all" href="https://amazon.co.uk/Chill-Mattress-Single-Comfortably-Innovative/dp/B073WHY2MF/ref=asc_df_B073WHY2MF/?hvlocphy=1006886&linkCode=df0&psc=1&hvnetw=g&hvadid=309909280065&hvpos=1o3&hvdev=m&hvtargid=pla-696506022613&hvrand=11360041154179764583&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-menopause-3630998-Useful-things-for-surviving-the-menopause" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">amazon.co.uk/Chill-Mattress-Single-Comfortably-Innovative/dp/B073WHY2MF/ref=asc_df_B073WHY2MF/?tag=googshopuk-21&linkCode=df0&hvadid=309909280065&hvpos=1o3&hvnetw=g&hvrand=11360041154179764583&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1006886&hvtargid=pla-696506022613&psc=1

And this iPhone fan

www.<a class="break-all" href="https://amazon.co.uk/VIMVIP-Lightning-Portable-Rotating-Suitable/dp/B01LYJIA4X/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?s=gateway&keywords=iphone%20fan&qid=1562428974&sr=8-3&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-menopause-3630998-Useful-things-for-surviving-the-menopause" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">amazon.co.uk/VIMVIP-Lightning-Portable-Rotating-Suitable/dp/B01LYJIA4X/ref=mp_s_a_1_3?keywords=iphone+fan&qid=1562428974&s=gateway&sr=8-3

And a pedestal fan by my bed.

Anyone else got any tips on things they have found helpful please?

@rockinhippy

No scan, though tbh it's something I need to push for as I fracture way too easily these days. I've actually woken up with a fractured foot bone & no clue how it happened. I was sent to A&E as a result of the last one & the one before by my GP, as she thought they'd test & scan as she was concerned, but they refused, didn't even X-ray the last one

I find this incredible that you have not been offered a DEXA scan.
The rule is that any fracture from an insignificant fall or bump, must be treated as if the person has osteoporosis, and a full bone density scan carried out.

You MUST see your GP immediately, discuss and insist on a bone density scan. Your GP must refer you to a rheumatologist for investigations. Do not ignore this.

If you are having multiple fractures, it sounds as if you may have osteoporosis now.

Thanks for that info Jingles. I do have a lot of health stuff to contend with, so I do tend to just plod on with it all & not take stuff so seriously that others will as a lot of us just my normal IYSWIM , so I suppose I'm easily fobbed off, unless it's something I know about. I've been meaning to go back anyway, so definitely will now

For people worrying about it, you may not notice. The menopause can be easier for some than others. I'm sure it was luck and a coincidence, but I decided I would have a positive attitude and no drugs, and I barely noticed my menopause. Half a dozen hot flushes , each lasting two minutes or so.

@Sofasurfingsally Your post has got to be one of the most patronising and ignorant posts I have ever read here.

Fine, all we need is a 'positive attitude' and it all goes away. FFS.

Have you any idea at all how some women feel?

I consider my symptoms moderate.
I was flushing on the hour all day. They disturbed a client- facing role at work.
I was awake for 3 hrs before I could get to sleep.

I had a lifestyle that may as well have come out of some health guru manual (diet, exercise, no booze.)
I also did not clutch my pearls and sob over the menopause, feeling negative.

You don't have a clue.

But so pleased you got away with nothing except 6 flushes.
Great.

@Rochinhippy Read the website of the Royal Osteoporosis Society- full of tips and also how to spot the danger signs- which you have had. No one your age ought to have fractures at the slightest knock. Please please see your GP because it sounds as if you have serious bone issues that need sorting now before they disable you in 5 or 10 years with spinal fractures.

@Rockinhippy- typos above so hope you see this!

I've got a noddy question about HRT. I've not taken it because of a bad family history of breast cancer. My mum's never had it but her mum, two of her mum's sisters and her own sister all did, and all died of it.

Anyway, the only troublesome symptom I have now that I'm menopausal is hot flushes. I've been very fortunate and I don't have anxiety, mood swings etc etc. I don't find the flushes all that difficult to cope with but I would prefer not to have them. My joints aren't great but that runs in the family (my dad's family particularly) so I haven't been connecting that with being menopausal.

So my questions is, if I took HRT, would my periods return? Because that would be an absolute dealbreaker for me. The absolute best thing about being menopausal for me is an end to the misery of periods. I had endometriosis and I couldn't go back to that.

A little in sofasufprfsally defence, I have seen recently that things like CBT can actually have a significant effect on sysmptoms. People expecting to get symptoms may well get more and worse symptoms than people who don’t.

Human body/mind interaction is fascinating, and why placebos like magnets work for some people.

Thanks Jingles

I do have hEDS which makes me more prone to fracture easily, but I will definitely get checked out as this was quite a new thing. I haven't had it happen in a while though, maybe as I upped my calcium foods intake etc. But your right, I should follow it 💐

Yes, I took part in a research study about that. I think it was featured in the Mariella Frostrup programme a few months ago. It was clear from the material I was given that some women really struggle with this extremely visible sign of ageing and being female, for very understandable reasons. If you have a senior job which you've fought hard to get and keep, constantly fighting conscious and unconscious sexism, spend a lot of time presenting, have a highly polished look, I'd imagine it's a real blow to have this uncontrollable thing happening - it's like being undermined from within.

Whereas for me, working in a very relaxed environment, part-time, no formal dress code, no make-up, plenty of menopausal colleagues, I've not been self-conscious about it at all. It's helped.

I said nothing of the sort, @JinglinghellsBells. I was careful to say it was easy for some people. Had the thread initial post said "... if needed", or something, I would not have commented. It DOES matter that the menopause isn't the great bogey for everyone, and it is good to include it, as ONE perspective. So please calm down.

And @MIdgebabe, I agree that can be true for some people too. I have no idea whether it was luck or not. FWIW, I'm not calm and relaxed about everything, but I was on that issue.

HRT

My menopause survival kit; up the exercise regime, cut back on alcohol, cut out dairy, use olive oil on your bits if they're dry/sore/itchy and take a supplement for menopausal women.

but I decided I would have a positive attitude and no drugs, and I barely noticed my menopause

@Sofasurfingsally

Looks fairly clear to me what you wrote.

You are one of the 20% of women who barely notice menopause.

But it has nothing to do with having a positive attitude.

To imply that women who use HRT or any form of intervention because they don't have a positive attitude, is so wrong.

Can we actually all accept that lifestyle measures are not always enough?

There is a lot of misinformation out there.

I tried ALL the stuff people suggest- diet, exercise, haven't drunk for 20 years and although I sailed through peri with no symptoms at all, it all got worse when my periods stopped.

CBT is great for anxiety but it's not the perfect answer.

The menopause wasn't the great bogey for me either. I felt quite shit, went to the gp, was prescribed something thst made me feel better. Boom job done.

I have a positive attitude, I've always been a glass half full type but my god has peri and meno floored me.

Before HRT
30 plus flushes a day
Drenching sweats
Insomnia to the point that i was hallucinating
Thinning hair
Weight gain especially around the middle
Brittle nails
Dry sore skin everywhere
Joint pain
Chronic anemia due to massive floody periods

With HRT
None of the above... I feel and look so much better

I'm sure it was luck and a coincidence, but I decided I would have a positive attitude
correct - it was luck. What a pointless bloody post.

@Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g

If you have not had a period for at least a year you can use a no-period HRT.

However, given the history of BC in your family, I'd suggest you see a menopause consultant for their advice. Look on the British Menopause Society website under Specialists for ones in your area. A private appt is around £200. GPs do not know the details about prescribing in cases like yours.

The guidelines mine uses is HRT is not advised if you have 2 first degree relatives- mum and sister.

The other issue is that continuous, combined HRT is the 'worst' for cancer because it's the progestin which is seen as the catalyst for cancer and in a no-bleed type it's taken daily.

You need advice or to decide you can cope with the flushes as they are.

Your joints may very well be linked to menopause.

HRT saved my life - almost literally, flushing every 20 minutes night and day was intolerable. I don't get why people are so anti.

Thanks, Jinglin! Food for thought.

It was clear from the material I was given that some women really struggle with this extremely visible sign of ageing and being female, for very understandable reason

It's not just a work situation and it's not really about 'struggling with ageing'.
Nothing to do with ageing being 'visible'.

It's about getting a decent night's sleep and not feeling crap all day when lots of us are working, juggling teenagers and elderly, often ill parents.

"Positive attitude" 🙄.

I am having a fairly easy meno without HRT. My flushes stopped when I took sage tablets, my joint aches went with turmeric. I won't officially be through it until September so it could change.

I feel better than I have done in years mainly due to weight loss and being fitter. When the flushes first started I thought here we go. Felt a bit down and depressed but when the flushes stopped I perked up. I exercise a lot, and eat well. Brain fog not a problem. I have had insomnia though which is annoying. And my tolerance levels are very low! Too much wine makes me a tad warmer in bed.

However most of my colleagues have suffered horrendously - one could not go on HRT due to family medical history but her symptoms were so debilitating that she is now on it. Another colleague stopped due to worries about HRT safety but had to go back on it due to a tsunami of symptoms returning. Both of these had a positive mental attitude, tried self help like supplements (sage did not touch the sides for them) and revisions to diet etc. So, we are all different and whilst some do sail through, others have a much harder time. I have never had a bad experience with periods, they were just tedious, but contemporaries did, so it's just the same when we go through menopause, different experiences for different people. Mental attitude does not come into it!