Perimenoupause or just a cranky bitch?

[Crankybitch]

Or both?.

Have been to the dr and it’s not menopause but I am fast approaching 50 so can’t be that far off

I am hoping others out there can provide sympathy/ advice as I am going up the wall

I used to be a optimist - now I think what’s the bloody point and am pessimistic about everything - is this normal?..

I hate everything & everyone - really feel like cutting out about 90% of my friends but am in a small community so impossible but they all play these power games and I don’t know why but now I have seen this it’s all I can see and i can’t find the energy to play them - any advice?.

What can I do? I can’t run away or move (DH & kids happy). Does this pass? Should I go on anti depressants? How can I get enthusiastic about things again? God I am even boring myself just typing this!,

when you say you have been to the drs and it's not menopause, what did you discuss and what did your dr say?

Some people tend to use the word menopause when they mean peri menopause ( years leading up to menopause) and menopause ( periods stopped for good.)

At 50 it's more than likely you are in peri menopause- which can last for years before a final period.

You certainly shouldn't be thinking of anti depressants for mood swings. The medical advice (NICE) is first line treatment is HRT, but also talking therapies like CBT.

Extract below

Psychological symptoms
1.4.5 Consider HRT to alleviate low mood that arises as a result of the menopause.

1.4.6 Consider CBT to alleviate low mood or anxiety that arise as a result of the menopause.

1.4.7 Ensure that menopausal women and healthcare professionals involved in their care understand that there is no clear evidence for SSRIs or SNRIs to ease low mood in menopausal women who have not been diagnosed with depression (see the NICE guideline on depression in adults).

Dr did blood tests etc

Will go back and see what I can do x

NICE does not recommend blood tests because they are unreliable. This is stated clearly in the NICE menopause guidance for GPs. It says blood tests are only to be done on women under 45 who are possibly having an early menopause.

The reason for this is that when ovarian function in peri menopause is erratic, you can have normal readings one day and a totally different reading the next.

I had the opposite experience; I had blood tests (not for menopause but as a full MOT with my consultant at 51.) It showed I was post meno which was laughable as I had regular periods. Went on to have them for another 12-18 months.

NICE guidance is treat the symptoms in any woman over 45 , as if meno.

Crankybitch

I'm the same, I'm pissed off with everyone and everything at the moment. I know DH is walking on egg shells around me. I try to be happy for the kids and don't let them see me like this. I've fallen out with family members and now my mum, although I thought she might be a bit more understanding but she's not! I just can't help this hatred I'm feeling for everything. I've got a constant headache and picking at DH for nothing really. I've felt like this a few times and I know it does pass but then I go on a guilt trip of making everyone feel shit. I've had blood tests and I am perimenopausal (44). It's just draining and I hate myself and my miserable face.

Sorry to hear that @peachrose - only plus side is you are not alone.

I am going to go back to the dr and see what he says

Haven’t fallen out with my mum yet but a sitting here overthinking anything any of my friends have said so who knows who I will fall out with next 😳😫

Hi Cranky! You sound like I was..... I totally get it.
I was a total weirdo from 40 to 49 and a half being perimenopausal. Nasty, crying, couldn't sleep, couldn't stay awake, anxious all-sorts! Periods all over the shop. Felt like I wanted to be horrible to everyone. Caused lots of commotion with friends and family. Last October was so far my last period and apart from hot flushes now I feel like a new woman. Just had my 50th birthday last week and believe me it might take a while but all that shit passes and you become almost Human again (but it does take a lot of time and coping).
Since my periods have stopped I feel better than I have done since effing puberty!! Keep trucking kid X

Thanks @neffinoodles.

Good to know that at some point this passes - until then I shall try to be positive and if that fails there is always gin 🍸

X

Oh not gin, that way lies the flapping mouth

I was like a snarling rabid dog underneath my normal outward guise. Scathing, sarky was me a lot of the time, lack of patience with others. I knew deep down it was not me, or was it? I had been a doormat looking after others for decades suddenly the rug was pulled from under me, in some ways that was not a bad thing, I started to stand up for myself. It is a shock to others though.

The nurtering gene/hormones we are given to care for others fizzles out, we become more like men, more assertive, hairier.

That makes sense @justasking111 Have always tried to be nice etc and got hurt quite a few times. Now something has switched and I haven’t got time for some people. Just need to watch it doesn’t go too far 😳

Off to find the tweezers to sort out the hair problem - unfortunately none of the extra hair is on my eyebrows which are disappearing 😤

I have been feeling the same way but I'm not sure if it is peri-menopause or following a dramatic life event 4 years ago which started to make me feel more introverted than usual. But, I can definitely relate, I just don't have time for a lot of people anymore and I have cut a few (so-called) friends out of my life who would have subtle digs at me and as a consequence I am left with very few people around me now, other than my dh, dcs and a few friends I see approximately once a fortnight. I could do with making some new friends but don't seem to have the inclination right now. Something has changed for sure.

I'm the same. Periods have been only slightly erratic for a year or so. No hot flushes but lots of aches and pains and basically hate everyone, but DH gets the brunt of it. He literally only has to look at me and I want to punch him in the face. Been debating going to gp to discuss options.

I've noticed a definite increase in my irritability, I have 3 dcs including 2 fairly young ones...this is going to be fun! No hot flushes yet but itching down below which has responded well to oestrogen cream when nothing else seems to have worked. I also have bladder issues and aches and pains - having some tests run soon to rule out other things, I have health anxiety and find it all a bit scary.

Daphne it is scary, they are good to rule out other things, but eventually after a long time you become philosophical about it and think bugger this meno. every time symptoms hit, or you go on hrt.

unfortunately none of the extra hair is on my eyebrows which are disappearing. Did you get thyroid blood tests done too? Times of hormonal upheaval can be a tricky time for thyroid health too. Make sure you get that checked.

This is me too. Seriously grumpy with practically everyone. It's horrible but almost impossible to change some days. My periods are still regular - I'm worried I've got this for a while yet! Hope I still have some friends and family speaking to me by the time I'm over it!!!

I had similar symptoms and my Dr put me on HRT, with no blood test. Had a few ups and downs with the prescriptions not being available and changing the type of hrt, but I feel so much better. I would go back, maybe another Dr and get 3mths supply - it could be a game changer

I can sympathise. I went to a gynae last week but said my bloods do not indicate peri but I am certain my hormones are causing my low moods. He prescribed me anti ds but I don’t have the courage to take them due to side effects and feeling like I won’t be able to cope without them if they do help. I’d rather try hormones.

Does thyroid level affect your eyebrows? I thought that was just age?

Sorry to hear everyone is being cranky - feel free to whinge on here!

I am trying to not whinge too much to DH but sometimes need to vent

Username, your gynae sounds useless. Giving a women anti depressants without investing anything else seems so lazy and old fashioned. Is your gynae an older man?

Friends son doing medicine some parts are optional, menopause being one part, most duck out of it he said.

Mine gave me anti depressants too - seems to be the cop out when you are at a certain age. I’m not depressed I don’t think. Mainly angry

But it’s sunny and am sitting outside having a gin so not angry at the moment 🍹

I think being tired and angry and feeling pissed off is part of being our age, with teens driving you nuts, moany husbands and never ending money and health worries

Or maybe that's just me, maybe some women are swanning about with their fabulous careers and lifestyles..... Lucky buggers..

I'm not minimising anyone's concerns, I think if your moods are affecting your life style/family it's worth speaking to your GP, as long as they actually have a clue what you are on about and don't send you away with the one size fits all anti depressants

@ssd you are right, it does not help that the men get all mopey/cranky at the same time. Their Victor Meldrew hormone kicks in, I guess they look in the mirror and see their virile youth disappearing too.

True!!