Right after wallowing in misery for the best part of a year I am turning over a new leaf: does anyone want to join me?

[KatyMac]

I have been miserable for months and I think my HRT is settling down so I am changing my life

I am restarting my self employed sewing business, started applying for jobs, I have had my hair cut & styled, I am starting a health eating plan (not a diet!!) and my exercise HAS to increase!

Does anyone have any goals they want to achieve? Can we be a team?

Hi Trying! Yeah I tried another type of hrt that suits me better and gave my body a little time to adjust. I feel better than years ago, I am 43. I think that my body was suffering from estrogen loss the previous 5 years.

I think we need to talk about menopause and HRT - I had no idea it could be this disabling

I made sympathetic noises when friends mention 'problems' I really had no idea of the scale some women deal with

My GP suggested I consider HRT when I first started to have peri symptoms, but at the time I thought I would try without and see how things progressed. I’m still wondering if I can bear another medication with more side effects.

Since then, I’m now 2 years since my period stopped and my anxiety went through the roof. I was suicidal too, I actually left job I was really good at and loved because of stress, which I’m now thinking I might have managed better with medication.

I now work part time but starting a new job was incredibly stressful too. My GP actually said I was ok to take HRT for 5 years without risk, but that would only take me to 57 and I would still be of working age. I took that to more or less imply I would need it to keep working. I actually can’t afford to stop working.

Absolutely the same! No life, no work without hrt.
I had no idea that Meno is such a nightmare. I was in a such dark place 2 years ago, I couldn’t even recognize myself.
And nobody knows what the proper treatment is. I told to my gyn that I will take hrt for life if I want a life and he said that it is up to me for how long I can stay on it and the risks are increasing with the age.

I’m thinking I should try and stay off it for as long as I can. I’m on anti depressant and estrogen cream

I think (& I could be wrong) but HRT should be offered before antidepressents for women of Menopausal age

Have a look on menopausematters and ask questions there

& there is lots of good info about the risks over time on there

Had my GP app this morning and have my first HRT patch stuck on right now.
When should I start feeling fabulous?
Seriously I hope it does make me feel more me again as atm I'm suffering as are my nearest and dearest. I'm like a bear with a sore head.

Can I join please?
47, suffering plenty of menopause symptoms and feel miserable! The worst is the hot flushes at night, insomnia and anxiety, which happens when I drive! It’s horrid and I’m sick of it! The GP prescribed fluoxetine which is yuk. Waiting for oncologist to get in touch with GP re HRT because of breast cancer 10 years ago! Quality of life is zero right now.

Is it ok if I join you ladies?

I am early 50s, still having periods here and there and can identify with the wallowing in misery. I am not on HRT.

My DD left for university last year and I have found it just so hard. I thought I would be ok, I work PT, have good friends and a few hobbies but I have just felt so 'pointless' since she left. I am even getting fed up with myself now so have decided to try and be a bit more positive so I am pleased to have found this thread.

FizzyOrange I know exactly what you mean! My DTs are currently on their gap years before uni in the autumn and I have been staggered at how adrift I have felt. 'Pointless' is exactly how I feel too and it's a bit of a struggle sometimes to keep depression at bay. I'm keeping myself very busy but that 'pointless' feeling is lurking at the back all the time.

Horrid gp appt yesterday! Left me shaking

Are you okay KatyMac? What happened?

Apparently I don't know what I am talking about & I have to stop reading the internet & NICE guidelines as they are for doctors and I shouldn't read them and won't understand them

Which is quite condesending and crap really

& I won't need vagifem once my HRT has established
& you can't have continual progesterone - that would be silly
& you really don't understand what is going on in your body

& they should have taken out your womb too and then we wouldn't be messing about with all this

So I feel a bit crap really

Billie and other soon to be empty nesters - my DD is year 2 now and I can honestly say it does get easier. DD is settled and I am used to her not being here - that doesn't mean that I like it, but you do get used to it. I think the build-up to them going is one of the hardest parts of the process though - I really struggled with that, and I think I dreaded the actual drop-off day for about 6 months. It is very very hard but it does leave this sort of 'pointlessness' when they are no longer there.

All the books and articles I have read about feeling this way suggest being 'kind to yourself' - with this in mind I treated myself to a new nail varnish and some chocolate in my grocery shop yesterday. Everyone says things like 'keep busy' as a coping mechanism, but the thing is, I am very busy! I can distract myself for a bit but it is always there.

Katymac sorry about your GP appointment, that sounds dreadful. In my experience, some doctors hate it when you have done research. Poor you though, at a time when you need support it is horrible. What did he/she suggest you do then? Just carry on as you are?

Some GP's simply don't like people being informed and educated about their own bodies and it makes me mad! My GP was the same to a degree, She even said, once I had finished explaining, that patients can refuse treatment, but they do not have the right to demand treatment. I was not demanding, merely explaining how this godforsaken stage of life is affecting my sanity!

On the contrary, you SHOULD read NICE guidelines and any up tp date accurate information. It is YOUR body after all. And you probably do know what you are talking about. Can you request to see another GP?

May I join you.i have been wallowing in misery long enough now and have just about begun to grasp that there are things I can do to help myself. Yesterday I took a day off and went for a long walk to try and get my head together. Today I did some gardening. Exercise does appear to help lift my mood. Lying under a blanket on the sofa feeling sorry for myself has become a bad habit that I need to break.

My positivity is fragile, though. I was offered an "over 60s" ticket for something yesterday for the first time. I'm 48, so that made me feel pretty shit .

I am feeling a bit more generous with myself today - I have CFS/FM (my IBS seems to have cleared up post op) I am B12 & vit D deficient (& zinc and folate)

So it's not surprising I'm feelinga bit crap even ignoring the meno!

I have had it confirmed by a different doctor I am on the wrong HRT & I have no idea how to address it with my own GP

I have that havbit, a chickencalledkorma & I don't wanna give it up!

I am also feeling better today. Dr gave me a low dose (10mg) of amytriptyline as a pain killer for my frozen shoulder so I’ve had 3 good nights sleep. I’ve also upped my magnesium intake as I’ve read you need to take it alongside vitamin D.

Took the dogs for a fantastic blustery walk/run this morning and we’ll be off shortly to the cinema.

I really need to get more exercise but this is the first time I haven’t felt totally exhausted for weeks.

I'm joining. I'm only early 40s but been having the crazy moods, the weight gain, anxuety, hot flushes, the feeling of pointlessness..in fact I yelled at dp the other day "I FEEL SO FUCKING POINTLESS"
The poor man, he puts up with a lot.
Somebody mentioned vaginall atrophy. Wha..? When should I expect that delight?
Whhyyyyyy? ?

Chicken you know what? Being utterly miserable ages you like nothing else.
I was in a horrible marriage in my 20s and I remember meeting someone who was 37 and he assumed I was older than him!
5 years later and I was being asked for id buying wine on a regular basis.
My mum was the same. In her 50s she looked terrible, but at nearly 70 she could pass for 55.

Oh, I should say, my doc is WONDERFUL. I want to have her babies. ( too late!) KatyMac change your doctor, don't let some patronising twat get you down.

Todays new delights of menopause include grey eyebrow hair (!), terrible sore tummy and a vein that is swollen and sore in my wrist

GP was the only NHS one with any space when we moved in so I may be stuck

Me too OP, after a menopause induced divorce and quite honestly a few years of psychotic behaviour my ex husband has asked if it's safe to come back Also flounced out of the NHS due to menopause induced stress.
I am thinking about rekindling things with my ex but we are just continuing as friends for now.
Had a bit of a relapse recently but feeling better after increasing my HRT.
Would like to find a decent job in the private sector but I'm having March off, need to lose weight and start exercising as I've retreated to bed for the most of the day but now it's time to start living again.
Let's do it.

One more thing, don't talk to me about looking old!!! I went to the opticians yesterday for new glasses and the receptionsit said why are you paying for your eye test, you're a pensioner.
I said WHAT! She said I've got you down here as 77.
I'm 57!! I'm afraid I said the f word, she had obviously put my date of birth down wrong but she didn't question it when she saw me.

Oh, it's so good to hear that the way I'm feeling is "normal". I feel like I'm living in a bit of a fog, with occasional bright intervals. Meanwhile, my 16 year old daughter is also hormonal and moody and both she and her sister seem to be particularly adept at picking up on my moods and reflecting them right back at me.

My elderly father is grumpy with me because I can't take two weeks off work when he comes to stay. And I'm supposed to be helping him buy a flat and move down here which just feels like a mountain of work that I'm not in a position to climb.

I did get my hair cut at the weekend though. And the hairdresser has done something magical that makes the massive grey patch less obvious, so perhaps I'll get through today without being accused of being an OAP .

Hello everyone please can I join in? I’m 57 and started with debilitating hot sweats a year ago. I was also trying to adjust to living a single life again after finding out my husband was having an affair and had been using escorts.
I went to see a lovely GP who was young and extremely handsome. He admitted he knew nothing about HRT and asked if he could do some research and phone me at home later. I admired his honesty. I am now on Elleste solo patches and 100 capsules which I use vaginally. The night sweat stopped and my quality of life has improved although I still feel anxious on waking in the morning.