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Menopause

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Original poster

Right after wallowing in misery for the best part of a year I am turning over a new leaf: does anyone want to join me?

85 replies

KatyMac · 14/02/2019 20:25

I have been miserable for months and I think my HRT is settling down so I am changing my life

I am restarting my self employed sewing business, started applying for jobs, I have had my hair cut & styled, I am starting a health eating plan (not a diet!!) and my exercise HAS to increase!

Does anyone have any goals they want to achieve? Can we be a team?

OP posts:
YorkieTheRabbit · 19/02/2019 17:46

Sorry to hear that Katy Flowers
Such a shame to be wiped out by something you enjoy
I’m not gloating at all but I’ve had a good couple of days, still hot at night but not bad sweats like I had before. I’ll have to wait and see if they return.
I work part time from home so done some today then back to decorating.
I hope you feel better soon Smile

IWantToBeBillie · 19/02/2019 18:34

Thought I would join you Katy and Yorkie!
I'm an empty-nester (DTs currently on gap years before uni this autumn) so have been struggling with having a lot more time on my hands plus feeling I've lost my purpose in life.
Went through the menopause six years ago and things physically have settled down (fingers crossed that lasts).
Over the past few months I have literally THROWN myself at life (with varying degrees of success - there have been a few disasters Smile) but beginning to feel like this new stage of my life might not be all doom and gloom.

Drookit · 19/02/2019 18:47

Ploughing my way through menopause here.
I think I cycle between ok, ok, ok, ok, hyper, ok, ok, low, miserable
Having a bad time atm with the night sweats and insomnia
So, its off to the drs next week to get HRT patches. Dr offered last month and I thought I'd see how it went.
It went crap.
Am planning a hair makeover and a few days to myself which I haven't had for soooooo long

YorkieTheRabbit · 19/02/2019 19:04

Good for you Iwant !
I’ve no children but I can imagine it being difficult to adjust to them moving on in their lives. It’s good you’re finding new things to enjoy in like Smile
How did you find the menopause physically and mentally, if you don’t mind me asking?
For me it was the awful night sweats and mood swings that pushed me to go for hrt. I’m more tired than I used to be and i ache a bit more when I’ve been busy in the garden but I can cope with that.
I gave up hrt a week ago after 18 months. I’ve had enough of feeling rubbish on it, the night sweats stopped two weeks after I started taking but in all honesty that was the only plus point. I’ve decided to try without and see how I go. I know I’ve been an absolute nightmare mood and temper wise at times. I’ve not felt right for months, even on good days I was still sort and I knew the good days wouldn’t last. Feeling rubbish for pushing two weeks a month just wasn’t worth it for me. I’m hoping to manage my moods better, I’m sure my hormones will be all over the place but by not having set amounts going it to my body every day, I’m hoping that I’ll see a bigger gap between the dips and that my migraines will settle down again.

YorkieTheRabbit · 19/02/2019 19:49

New hair do and time for you sounds fab Drookit
Fingers crossed the patches help you Flowers

BestIsWest · 19/02/2019 19:57

Hello, Can I join you too? Need to stop feeling sorry for myself. Been on HRT for 4 months and on a high dose of vit D for the last month as mine was deficient. Also got a frozen shoulder which is driving me insane, elderly infirm parents and a job in IT where I continually have to learn new things to keep on top of it all. Am totally knackered but don’t get enough exercise and need to lose a shedload of weight.

Kahlua4me · 19/02/2019 20:33

Hello, can I join you too please? I have been in peri for a year or so, although for the first 6 months I ricocheted between thinking I had one terminal illness after another before somebody suggested it could be menopausal!

Currently I am only taking a multi vitamin so think I probably need more. I need to lose some weight as well as increase my exercise levels as only really do Pilates.

Drookit · 19/02/2019 20:38

I'm trying to keep active but I ache!

IWantToBeBillie · 19/02/2019 22:10

Yorkie, I had a fairly miserable perimenopause with really heavy periods so was desperate for the menopause to arrive! I didn't go down the HRT route (for a variety of reasons) and did find insomnia was a big problem for the first couple of years post-meno, although I didn't have much in the way of night sweats. I'm still not sure if the insomnia was the menopause or stress or both. It is better these days which is a great relief.

I started on Vagifem last year (which I think is equivalent to 2 tablets of HRT per year???) and that has definitely helped with the insomnia as I don't need to get up and go to the loo several times a night. I'm down to one trip to the loo per night and that's a great help! I'm now in my mid-fifties and actually don't feel too bad or too old (although I do get tired more easily these days).

My biggest adjustment has been the DC leaving home. I didn't think I was a woman who was defined by being a mother (I've always worked, run my own business etc) so has been a bit of a shock to find myself feeling so adrift now I'm not in full time "mum mode". As I said in the previous post, I have thrown myself at life a) as I don't want the DC to think I'm stuck at home moping and b) as I actually found it difficult to not be doing things (that's when I felt depression could really take a hold).

IWantToBeBillie · 19/02/2019 22:12

Yorkie it does sound as if you've had a really rough time - I do hope the hormones sort themselves out soon!

YorkieTheRabbit · 19/02/2019 22:18

Weight seems to be a recurring theme with us all. I’m always hungry, I swear there’s days when I could eat a pig with socks on and still not be full Blush
I did go three days without chocolate but a mars bar minus its wrapper, happened to fall into my mouth today. Hey ho, I do like food and Wine

YorkieTheRabbit · 19/02/2019 22:30

Iwant I’ll be honest, I have scared myself at times, I’ve felt completely out of control. I’m going to give myself three months without hrt and see how I am. I certainly don’t want to go back on tablets.
The weird thing is that I never suffered from pmt before this lot. I’d no idea I could be for vile, something I’m not proud of.

BestIsWest · 20/02/2019 07:53

God yes, IwanttobeBillie I can empathise with that. My two both moved out two years ago, one to go to uni and one to work 50 miles away. I really really miss them even though we message all the time and talk on the phone frequently. I am glad they are both happy though.

Original poster
KatyMac · 20/02/2019 08:46

Morning everyone - it's lovely to have company; isn't it Yorkie?

Should I go round plumping cushions on sofas and making tea - or would we all prefer over proof Jamaican rum and a blanket over our heads? I know which I'd choose and I'm teetotal!

Awful night again I wonder if I need more HRT!!

Off to Cromer today (Train & bike) for chips on the seafront!

Hi Billie, - DD moved outfor college at 16 and came home last summer which is lovely and awful at the same time....

Drook I had about 6 inches cut off my hair last week not a massive improvement sadly

Best......same! my shoulder works but my hip....

Kahlua - yes more than a multivitamin (D, Magnesium, methyl folate & B12 are my essentials) and up the number of times you do Pilates if that's what you can do

Catch you all later - after my seabreeze rude awakening!

OP posts:
YorkieTheRabbit · 20/02/2019 09:33

Yes it’s good to have company Katy enjoy Cromer and the chips —not jealous— Grin

IWantToBeBillie · 20/02/2019 12:14

Chips mmmmmmmmmmm! Have a fab time Katy!

Agree Yorkie, weight is a problem. I lost nearly 4 stone last year (gallstones) which was great as I REALLY did need to lose it (although the gallstones were pretty grim). Unfortunately, the weight is beginning to creep back on as I don't seem able to stop stuffing food in my mouth! Like you, I could definitely eat a pig with socks on and still not be full Smile. Can’t actually blame that on the menopause as I’ve been like that from birth I think. I don’t appear to have a little switch in my head that says “I’m full”.

Original poster
KatyMac · 23/02/2019 19:00

Cromer was lovely - I was exhausted!

Then I went to see 'Black is the Colour' in London - I was exhausted

& then I did the first Aid course - I was exhausted

Are you sensing a theme?

OP posts:
JinglingHellsBells · 23/02/2019 21:24

what all in one day? How did you fit it in?

Original poster
KatyMac · 24/02/2019 10:11

Nooo! no chance - it was over 4 days with half a days work in between

Sorry I didn't explain well

Last night I was sat here at 4:30 wondering why I couldn't sleep - my patch isn't technically due to be changed until this evening, but I slapped a new one on and I was asleep in 20 mins - what is that!!

OP posts:
JinglingHellsBells · 24/02/2019 10:36

If you were awake at 4,30am you'd prob have gone to sleep anyway soon, regardless of changing your patch! :)

Original poster
KatyMac · 24/02/2019 10:51

I'm thinking auto suggestion!

OP posts:
TryingToBeCheery · 25/02/2019 09:20

I came on here to start a very similar thread as you can see from the name change. Thanks for starting Katy.

I have been downright miserable for ages and I am sick of it. My PeriM started about 2 and a bit years ago and since then my anxiety has rocketed, sleep terrible and oh the sweats. I can't believe how miserable I have been and I and upset that my children will end up thinking they have a miserable mother when I was always a great laugh with loads of get up and go.

I've done nothing for months. I've had zero motivation. My usual get up and go, got up and went. I've given my DH so much grief. I've told him we have no plans, we have nothing exciting to look forward to, never go out and have no holidays booked. The truth is, I've been too anxious to get on a plane and have thought that its not worth going on holiday as I haven't enjoyed them due to anxiety. My DH asked us all if we wanted to go on an extended business trip somewhere exotic with him at Easter and I said no due to feeling rotten at the time of asking. I am now massively regretting it and it is too late.

I am feeling better though. I've had a Mirena fitted and I've started exercising like a demon. After exercise I usually feel really great for hours. Its a massive high. I am thinking of ditching HRT as after 6 months I see no difference.

My question is WHY do we feel miserable? Why is there no joy? Why is there no motivation? I have lost sight of the fact that this is the menopause. I now just think I am a miserable woman.

Emerald13 · 25/02/2019 09:37

I was in the same boat 2 years ago and almost suicidal. I think that estrogen loss has a huge impact in the way our brain function and we feel miserable because our body and mind suffer.

TryingToBeCheery · 25/02/2019 09:38

Do you feel better Emerald? What changed?

myidentitymycrisis · 25/02/2019 09:41

hello everyone I'd like to join you.
I have been miserable for the last 18 months or so, but since Christmas feeling more myself. I'm back on antidepressants after a break (which didn't work out well), and I use Estriol cream which has helped too.

I'm currently sleeping so much better and vaginal atrophy has slowed down. My moods still go up and down though and I am guilty of snapping at my lovely OH which I really want to work on.

My ds moved out just over a year ago which is great, I still see him lots and we are close.

I'm off on a mini break on my own today to the coast and the sun is shining! Doing things for myself to help feed my soul is what I am focusing on for the next few days.