A peri meni rant. Having a bad few days.

[Perimenirant]

I am nearly 49. Last year I think I started the peri menopausal stage. I was feeling really off and had crazy periods and went to the Doctor who did blood tests and said I was borderline. I went to see a Consultant and she told me to go away and keep doing what I was doing (had changed diet and upped exercise and started some supplements) and that I would have some "bad" days and to come back if and when it got too much.

I've been mostly OK for the past year. A few off days. However, right now I feel like shit. One of the things that is affecting me is that I have become a very light sleeper. The slightest thing wakes me up and keeps me awake and then I get stressed out and it is a vicious circle. I've had terrible sleep for 3 nights prompted by DH's snoring. I've slept on the couch for 2 nights but got little sleep.

Today my MH feels shot to pieces and I feel like I can't cope. Do I ride it out and see if I can get back on track? I have been feeling OK. I am not opposed to HRT at all. I was saving it for rock bottom.

Just a rant really. Need a bit of a hand hold as feeling really fragile.

Going without sleep is awful, and waking up at 1am and 2am is really common unfortunately. If you want to go on HRT at some point I don't see the point in saving it for rock bottom really. You could try magnesium for sleep but I do think it is just hormonal imbalances in peri which will do what they want to do regardless.

What helped for me is realising that I didn't actually need 8 hours sleep to function. I used to feel wide awake at 2am and then panic that I had to get up for work at 6am. After surviving on 3 hours sleep a few times (and none o couple of times!) and nothing awful happening, I found that took the stress away. I also read an article which stated that dozing and being half asleep gave some benefit so I choose to believe that and it helped. I also nap whenever I can and am lucky that I can still fall asleep really easily, whenever.

Thanks Paris. I too get the panic about having to get up and deal with my responsibilities. The thing I hate most is the thought processes in the early hours when everyone is asleep. I actually feel scared and listen out for burglars. I would rather know I am only going to get X hours and go to bed late and get up early. Its the wee hours of ceiling staring that I cant cope with.

The ridiculous scenarios my brain can come up with at 1am are unbelievable. I often have really bad dreams which I just can't shake off and I worry about how to get out of the situation I just dreamed. So annoying.

I hear you. When DH is away and not snoring loudly enough to block out street noise I've started listening to sleep inducing podcasts (best one I've found is Come Sleep with Me) and yoga class music. It helps me block out the panic. I also use a mantra about how resting is almost as good as sleeping, to keep the panic away.

This is happening to me on a regular basis. Either I wake in the wee hours or, like last night, I didn't sleep until 3. I get up at 6 too. I am functioning OK today but am tired. I am planning on asking for HRT as soon as possible. It's really helpful to know that just dozing is beneficial, Paris.
Peri is proving to be a pain!

My sister listened to radio 4, it was amazing how much (useless) information she picked up during peri! She found things got better once she was through it, so here's hoping. Things have improved for me recently as I don't think I'm having the wild swings in hormones as I get closer to the end.

Oh the days I could gloat that I didn't know what poor sleep was! My sleep has been getting worse in the last 5 years. It's a bit of everything, sometimes failing to fall asleep for hours, restless legs, turning and tossing, sometimes it's waking up a number of times in the night, and if I managed to get to sleep ok and not stay awake in the night, I can guarantee I will be fully awake at 5am. Whatever the night, I'm lucky if I manage to get more than 40 minutes deep sleep and don't feel like I'm waking up with a hangover!

Can't imagine ever sleeping properly again!

I cut out alcohol, caffeine & sugar because I read these stimulants tend to make symptoms worse. It was very effective. I did it for about a year.

Well I don't drink alcohol at all, have my last cup of tea at 2pm and don't drink coffee. I've cut down on sugar before and not seen any difference but doing it again, mainly because need to lose 1/2 a stone. Will see if it also help with sleeping but not holding my breath.

Are you on HRT swingofthings?

I am feeling a bit better now. I have been feeling anxious for a few days with lack of sleep but now it seems I have a period and have pains and all the stuff I used to have when I was a teenager. Thought all that was behind me

Watching with interest. 45 and in the full flow of peri misery. So anxious, irritable and blooming exhausted.

peri misery. It sure is.

I went to see the GP about the insomnia and the hot flashes - HRT was mentioned but i dont want to start my periods again so have to wait for my year round to make sure i am fully menopausal ( so to speak) my choice here, although waiting till september is going to drag.
The not sleeping is horrible - i wake up and toss and turn and my mind plays tricks and I wake up feeling awful and tried and stressed and it goes on and on. The anxiety is also not good. I also hate hot weather that makes things worse too. Feeling a bit low as well. I might give the HRT a go I think, its got to be better than this all the time.

Joining your thread

I thought i slept badly when the children were young, I had no idea

Hi Peri, try not to panic, get informed and try to find a gyn who knows and really wants to help.
We don't need to suffer and struggle with all these awful symptoms and body changes without medical help. The only thing that helps me is hrt and it gave my life back.

Glad you are feeling better OP.

Are you on HRT swingofthings?
Yes, started about 2 months ago. I think I am starting to feel a bit better, but still waiting for the improvement with my sleep! I think it is helping with the 'coming out of nowhere' anxiety but have also started to walk later in the evening and rationalising my thoughts, focusing on the sounds of nature and I think this has been helpful too.

What I hate about peri is that everything is interlinked so hard to know what to focus on. Ie. is the anxiety/stress (I think it's more stress for me) triggering the poor sleeping (even though I've been very stressed in the past and still slept like a baby), which in turn causes me to be stressed and anxious, or it is the poor sleep that triggers the stress which triggers the poor sleep!

Had a really bad night last night. Didn't sleep a wink despite taking a Nytol which normally knocks me out. I went to bed at 9pm and got up at 6pm and spent the whole time in-between awake with horrible intrusive thoughts. I think the previous bad nights sleeps has made my mind go off the deep end. I got up this morning and told my DH I thought I was going insane and I meant it

I can see why the drop in certain hormones cause so many symptoms, but i am puzzled about the insomnia one to be honest. The doctor just said its all linked. over the counter tablets make me feel worse and give me a headache so i hate taking them, but sometimes i have to.

Perimenirant, what a shame. Time to make an appointment and talk about HRT do you think?

The80sweregreat, they know so little about what goes on during peri, don't they? So many people talk about a drop in hormones being the problem but for most of us we'll see surges in estrogen which can cause just as many problems. For me that's when I'm at my worst, I quite like hot flushes as I know I'll get a break from other stuff.

I think the insomnia can also be due to having too much cortisol. It is usually adrenaline surges that wake me. Doctors don't ever seem that bothered about understanding why something is happening, but I think it would really help a lot of women.

Oh it's an awful time, just think that years and years ago women were not expected to be out at work so they could deal with the lack of sleep during the day, a lot of them were still churning out kids as well! But in the modern world we are all out at work and I think there is no real consideration given to menopause and the massive impact it can have on your life. With hot flushes, insomnia, sweating, mood swings, irrational behaviour it's not a great time and I feel for you, I am also peri menopausal and feel like I am walking around in a cloud of sweat constantly ...... I feel your pain

I can feel myself getting hotter and hotter and the sweat starts. I hate it!

But in the modern world we are all out at work and I think there is no real consideration given to menopause and the massive impact it can have on your life.

I think it's getting better. But then we also have the option of HRT. I'm still working in my 60s running my own small business and doubt I could without HRT.

Peri . I had a total meltdown yesterday, crying like a baby from sheer exhaustion. DH and DS were . I forced myself to stay awake until 10:30 then took Nytol. I woke at 1:30 and was resigned to another shit night but managed to drop off at about 3.
Made a doctor’s appointment to get HRT. I can’t have endless broken nights and be effective.
Chatting to women a bit older than me at work, I’m amazed how many of us survive on way too little sleep.

I end up crying over anything these days - even in the car i'll have tears running down my eyes and all upset. i thought i was going a bit crazy but seeing this thread has made me realise i am not.