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Menopause

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Original poster

A peri meni rant. Having a bad few days.

47 replies

Perimenirant · 18/04/2018 10:26

I am nearly 49. Last year I think I started the peri menopausal stage. I was feeling really off and had crazy periods and went to the Doctor who did blood tests and said I was borderline. I went to see a Consultant and she told me to go away and keep doing what I was doing (had changed diet and upped exercise and started some supplements) and that I would have some "bad" days and to come back if and when it got too much.

I've been mostly OK for the past year. A few off days. However, right now I feel like shit. One of the things that is affecting me is that I have become a very light sleeper. The slightest thing wakes me up and keeps me awake and then I get stressed out and it is a vicious circle. I've had terrible sleep for 3 nights prompted by DH's snoring. I've slept on the couch for 2 nights but got little sleep.

Today my MH feels shot to pieces and I feel like I can't cope. Do I ride it out and see if I can get back on track? I have been feeling OK. I am not opposed to HRT at all. I was saving it for rock bottom.

Just a rant really. Need a bit of a hand hold as feeling really fragile.

OP posts:

haverhill · 19/04/2018 16:45

Peri, I would get out of bed and do something rather than lay there for endless hours feeling terrible. Even dozing in a chair with the radio on quietly will still rest your body and distract you from your thoughts.

JaneJeffer · 19/04/2018 17:10

I'm having problems sleeping as well. I just feel anxious for no reason and it's horrible. I hate going to bed so I stay up too late. Then at aroun 4 pm I get so tired.

Stormy76 · 19/04/2018 22:18

Love malteasers, my boss has zero understanding of the issues I am having being perimenopausal. She thinks I am moaning when I say how hot it is in the office.....we are not allowed to open the windows. Her answer is use a fan, because a fan blowing warm sweaty stagnant air around the room is so much better than sweating through your clothes and having to change in the loo, I get migraines because despite drinking water all day I am dehydrated, my sleep is terrible because I am woken up by hot flushes.....if I can get off to sleep in the first place. I am not at the stage where I can take HRT, it's too early for that but my doctor has said that what I have described is peri menopause. I am just hoping that by the time I hit full blown menopause I won't notice the difference because I will be so used to it. There are some benefits to it though......I am never cold in the winter anymore.....now if only my inner furnace could burn off some of my fat lol

As I say there is zero understanding in my workplace, my boss has no compassion or empathy ......I hope that when she hits this stage of life she has a young, impatient and ignorant boss who treats her the same way as she has treated her staff.

The80sweregreat · 20/04/2018 15:40

stormy, could you not go to see HR about your boss? that so unfair not having a window open when its hot. that isnt on.

swingofthings · 20/04/2018 19:04

Chatting to women a bit older than me at work, I’m amazed how many of us survive on way too little sleep.
I'm 'lucky' in that I work in a team of 6 and 4 of us are going through it and the other two are only coming out of it. A few of us have fitbit and like to share our sleeping woes and so true that we are all poor sleepers in our own ways. We managed to perform somehow, but the yawns start at about 2pm. I think we are all relieved that we can talk about it and not feel we need to pretend against the inevitable.

ParisUSM · 20/04/2018 19:32

My female line manager refused to allow me to switch off radiators and told me everyone else had to just get on with it, so I would have to too. I am a lone worker which made it even more ridiculous. Only relented when I said I'd contact my union and emailed her direct quotes from the Unison guide to supporting women through the menopause. Horrible to work in an supportive workplace like that.

LovesMaltesers · 20/04/2018 20:31

I am not at the stage where I can take HRT, it's too early for that but my doctor has said that what I have described is peri menopause. I am just hoping that by the time I hit full blown menopause I won't notice the difference because I will be so used to it.

Bit unsure of what you mean? I started HRT when I still had periods , was having hot flushes, and insomnia. HRT is for perimenopause and post menopause as well. Is your dr saying you can only have HRT when you are post meno? Hope not as they are wrong.

Emerald13 · 20/04/2018 21:18

The same here! I went on hrt with almost regular periods at 41. You don’t need to suffer and to wait your symptoms become unbearable! Hrt is recommended for peri especially at young ages!

Stormy76 · 21/04/2018 06:28

They won't give it to me yet, my bloods were done and nothing showed on them but I am having the symptoms so the GP said, it's too early really for treatment to just keep an eye on the symptoms and they will check my bloods in 6 months. I thinks that is a reasonable response because they have to justify prescribing me hrt when there is no clinical evidence that I am suffering from hormone issues....other than the symptoms I am having. I do have the mirena as well for gynae issues and am seeing a consultant at the end of the month re fibroids etc so I am happy to wait and speak to him, my appt was for June but they brought it forward to this month which is a relief. I can cope when I am at home with the symptoms but at work it's horrendous, it was so hot I nearly passed out and was dripping in sweat .......had to come in and get straight in the shower......felt so grotty and disgusting.

OnTopOfSpaghetti · 21/04/2018 06:37

I'm so pleased I've found this thread! Thought I was losing my mind this last few months. I have everything you're all describing, the anxiety, low moods, poor sleep, waking up with a knot in my stomach. I am 43 which seems early but I am now convinced it must be peri reading all your stories. I am on the pill and my GP said I could stay on it until I am 2 yrs period free, I am still having light periods though so this could go on for a while yet...

Stormy76 · 21/04/2018 06:39

It is a relief to find it because I didn't know how early you could get hrt so I will look into that.

CrabappleBiscuit · 21/04/2018 06:44

Stormy, I went on hrt at 40 purely symptom bases as blood tests are not reliable for peri. Have s look at the NICE guidelines, they are pinned on the board. Really helped my symptoms, the brain fog, insomnia, night sweats and flushes ...and the RAge.

OnTopOfSpaghetti · 21/04/2018 06:45

Now wondering if I should ask about HRT, not sure if I would come off the pill then, I think a trip to the GP is needed.

RedLemonade · 21/04/2018 06:58

Stormy just wanted to chip in here and say that the guidance now is that hormones don’t need to be checked to make a diagnosis of perimenopause (with a few exceptions) and HRT can and should be prescribed based on symptoms if the woman wants it and there aren’t any reasons not to prescribe.

Also a PP mentioned having to wait for a year of no periods before being offered a continuous/no-bleed HRT prep but there’s nothing to stop you trying continuous options if you’ve been period-free for a decent few months. Worse outcome is you get some bleeding and you can stop it or move to a sequential prep for a few months (with bleed) and then try the continuous again.

There’s still an awful lot of misinformation out there regarding how to manage menopausal symptoms (often coming from GPs, and I speak as one myself who was woefully ignorant until I started actively educating myself a few years ago) so it’s really important to get good information. Menopausematters.co.uk (think that’s the address) is a great source. But essentially menopause is a clinical diagnosis (based on women’s symptoms) and NOT a biochemical/blood test-related one in the vast majority of cases.

to all of you in the trenches at present!

LovesMaltesers · 21/04/2018 07:30

@RedLemonade is right.

NICE says GPs aren't to do blood tests except if you are under 45. The guidelines say prescribe if women are having symptoms. Reason being, blood tests are completely unreliable in peri. Your hormones can be 'normal' on day of test as oestrogen and FSH levels spike and fall by the hour- that's what causes the symptoms!

Stormy76 · 21/04/2018 08:10

Thanks actually what you have all said makes a huge amount of sense, particularly about the blood tests, I know that it is not normal to be sweating this much....waking up drenched etc. I will read up on it because the last time I had to read up on pain medication because my pain (nerve pain in right arm) was not being treated so I whipped out pages that I had printed out from the BNF regarding nerve pain and how to treat and told them I had enough, I have had to quote NICE guidelines before as well. I do understand though .....gp's are overwhelmed and tbh if you are dealing with palliative care, dementia etc and some deranged 42 year old comes in moaning about sweating .....I can see how it's brushed aside......doesn't make it right though.

I wonder now if my breakdown at the end of 2016 was the start of it yknow because I was dealing with the sweating problem back then. And yes the RAGE is unbelievable, my poor dh looks like a hunted man ..... I will see if this Consultant is any use as well

swingofthings · 21/04/2018 10:34

The insomnia is such a tease! For weeks my issue was switching off and falling asleep to the point that I resorted to sleeping pills for a few days as desperately needed my sleep. This worked, so decided to try without them and sure enough, I'm falling asleep like a baby.... and waking up earlier and earlier. 3 days in a row at 5am and this morning, when of course I'm supposed to enjoy a lie in, 4:30. Could not get back to sleep no matter what. I'm supposed to go out tonight, I know by 9pm, I'll be unable to put to sentences together and will just be miserable, so will have to cancel. Of course, I'll be seen as the party pooper (only one of the group has gone through it and she's breezed through it...)

This perimenopause is so sadistic!!

ParisUSM · 21/04/2018 11:37

Is there any chance of getting a nap this afternoon swingofthings? I just catch up on sleep whenever I can now.

I find when I do sleep ok I have horrendous nightmares which make me up anyway - more evidence of sadism I think ;)

curlyfries · 21/04/2018 17:46

This thread has made me feel as if I'm not alone in this awful half life of poor sleep and anxiety - Anyone else suffering with bad skin too? I'm constantly covered in painful spots on my nose and chin, Also general redness around mouth - think it might be rosacia from what I've read online 😢

The80sweregreat · 21/04/2018 17:54

I get red skin and spots- gp gave me some anti biotic gel and that was very good.
I hate the menopause!

swingofthings · 21/04/2018 18:09

Is there any chance of getting a nap this afternoon swingofthings? I just catch up on sleep whenever I can now.
Thanks Paris. Unfortunately, afternoon naps are exactly the same as trying to get back to sleep after waking up at 4:30. I'm knackered, desperately want to sleep, but my body feels totally alert and won't switch off.

Oh nightmares are horrible, I do feel for you because even if you get a good restful sleep, you wake up feeling dreadful as if you've really experienced your dream.

haverhill · 17/05/2018 14:43

Dear All, I just wanted to come back on this thread to say that I started taking Black Cohosh a couple of days after the thread started, and my sleep improved massively within a week.
(If you want to try it, do read up on it first because it might not be suitable for you). Best of luck.

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