I really like your post Fontella and totally agree with you. I too am tired of both extreme camps. Either you are considered a whimp for going on hrt because really, symptoms are manageable if you accept your situation or you are made not to go on hrt because it will resolve all your issues.
I've suffered from symptoms for 2 years now and yes, it correlates with me starting the perimenopause as confirmed by blood tests. My symptoms are neurological though, and although I also suffer from anxiety at time, very poor sleep, feeling low, I don't have night sweats, anger outburts, hot flashes or vaginal dryness, yet because most of my test have come back to say all is fine, everything is put down to it.
Because there's no point in being stubborn, I've accepted to try hrt. I'm now on week 6 and feel no better for it at all, if anything, I feel worse. Still I'm being patronised that I'm too impatient, that it takes some time to start working, and that even if there still no improvement in 3 months, it's probably because I'm not on the right one and I need to try another dose/brand.
Maybe the above is true, but maybe it's just not the menopause and maybe hrt will not be the miracle cure that everyone is telling me will if I'm patient enough.
I totally agree with your analogies that show how we are all different and it's not right to assume that what works for ourselves works for everyone else.
I was prepared to ditch the patch this week-end because I'm so tired of feeling like crap but then decided that if I do, I'll still be told that everything is down to the perimenopause and that I should have gave it longer, so I'll keep going. Of course, I'd love nothing more for it to work for me, I'd give anything to feel normal again.