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Menopause

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Your worst emotional issues with peri and meno?

53 replies

PollyPerky · 21/01/2018 10:45

I'm just interested!

I seemed to be really lucky and get very few peri symptoms; I got to almost 53 with nothing except an occasional missed period, then the hot flushes started.

Looking back, I was very short tempered and had 'rages' at home but I put that down to living with 2 equally hormonal DCs in the middle of A levels etc.

What was bad for you? Anxiety? weight gain? work issues? Confidence? Did anything help?

OP posts:
Mummytron · 22/01/2018 20:57

Agree with the poster who said they don't recognise themself anymore. Almost happened overnight for me

Rage and anxiety through the roof. I'm sure everyone hates me!

Pains, aches, just feeling generally crap ALL the time.

Like I'm living in someone's else's body so I dont know how to work it

Lambside · 22/01/2018 21:10

Some sadness. Having to think about and come to terms with the fact that having anymore babies is not a possibility anymore. I didn't want anymore but the possibility has been removed from me.
A feeling of release and optimism connected to the fact I'll soon not have periods ever again!
Fear over what fresh hell the menopause may inflict. Anxiety over whether my GP will be adequately informed and sympathetic.

Emerald13 · 22/01/2018 22:22

I had too severe symptoms that I was convinced that I had something too serious and I'll die. That made me feel despaired and I had suicidal thoughts. When I diagnosed with early menopause and was told that I had an estrogen crush and offered HRT I felt a huge relief. My hardest emotional issue I face is about aging, the meaning of my life, the idea of death. My meno reminds me that we are not immortal and that things change all the time!

flipflop67 · 22/01/2018 22:51

For quite a while I just felt low and flat. Just not like myself. I started doing yoga at least twice, sometimes four times a week and it has made such a difference to my general mood. I feel myself sinking down again when I don't go to class so often.

Crumbs1 · 22/01/2018 22:57

MissyB1. I wouldn’t stop using contraceptives just yet! I assumed I was definitely menopausal but am also on Tamoxifen but over 50 nothing for four years etc but my surgeon tested “ just to be certain” before switching to Arimadex but turns out I should have continued with some form of contraception as I wasn’t actually menopausal. I think the likelihood of conceiving was very low but certainly we weren’t intending to have any more.

MarigoldGloveHotel · 23/01/2018 14:18

I can't have HRT as I had breast cancer.

How do you all manage your rage at work. I've lost it so many times that I'm worried I'll get sacked. I get really angry at irritating things and act like a toddler. I can not stop, for 3 or so weeks a month I'm ok, but pow, that 4th.

theliousmonk · 25/01/2018 23:37

I would say I have has these symptoms for about 3-4 years. I am mid-40s.

Brain fog
Depression/flatness
Detached
Memory problems
Low mood
Mood swings
Cannot find any joy in things I used to
Confusion
Poor judgement/decision making
Teary

spectacularvelvet · 25/01/2018 23:44

I slowly went into some form of mental decline - looked ok from outside but I didn't want to do anything, go anywhere, was emotional - quick to temper or tears and generally felt as if I was going mad. It took months of tests and me saying to my gp 'there is something wrong in my head and it's not depression' to finally get peri- menopause diagnosis. Within weeks of starting on HRT it felt 'normal' again.
I have to say though I am very aware of my age, and the fact that younger people are looking so young... that gives me a bit of a sad ness as I feel like my chance has gone to grab all of those opportunities. Sounds maudlin - in reality my life is pretty fantastic and happy and I'm very fulfilled... but there is that voice that constantly reminds me that it's not my turn anymore?

LizzieSiddal · 26/01/2018 14:26

Emotionally I’ve always had pms but it’s far worse now, I’m 52.

I get terribly anxious and ragey the week leading up to my period then for a week after they start I have very low mood and I just cry and cry. It’s a good job I work from home Grin

I don’t really have any other peri symptoms. but anyone know if HRT would help with my 2 weeks of misery?

Shampaincharly · 01/02/2018 08:27

Anxious, stressed.
(As soon as I felt stressed I got instant heat through whole body and face reddened and glistened. )

Ncarruthers · 01/02/2018 19:22

Hi there. I'm not sure if I'm in the right place to ask this question, but I'm wondering if anyone out there has had any experience with the Prostap injection to chemically induce a menopause? If so did you have dreadful side effects whereby you literally felt like you were dying. I cannot find any accounts online that match the side effects that I'm having at the moment so i thought I'd try mumsnet because I'm so desperate to know if the symptoms will get better the longer I take hrt. Thanks in advance. X

KaliforniaDreamz · 02/02/2018 10:41

Terrible dark moods that don't lift!

BrownTurkey · 14/02/2018 21:48

Brain fog.
Ennui (this is the best word to describe it - I would have a nice normal family weekend, and by the end of Sunday I would want to throw plates at the kitchen wall or - and this sounds awful, but expresses it well - slit my throat with sheer boredom.)
Three episodes of starting to cry and not being able to stop.
I am generally a very emotionally level person, so found all this very unsettling.

phoenix1973 · 20/02/2018 18:07

I feel lost and don't know what the point is now.
My DD is 11 and I think she no longer needs me. I work but nothing permanent so I don't know what's the point of me. Why am I here?
I feel rage, sadness, like I've wasted my life and it's all been pointless.
Yet I am silent about it. My mum knows I'm low but I can't talk. I can't talk to my partner. I'm going through the motions. I work, I function but I'm either numb, terribly anxious or raging. It's awful.
I hate being invisible. I'm just the Mum. It's annoying.
I literally look ahead and think once DD is 18 I can just die because there's nothing I want to do or look forward to.
The fears mean I have to force myself to drive, go out and go to work.
I've got no sex drive but I do my best.
Nothing interests me.
I know I'm lucky and should feel grateful so I don't moan or talk. But then I berate myself for not feeling grateful.
Otherwise, teeth, thinning hair, joint pains, vision probs, hairs in the wrong places, spare tyre, overheating, tiredness, all get me down.

hennipenni · 22/02/2018 07:43

Feelings of anxiety that just come from nowhere- even if I’m quite relaxed at the time.
Very low mood.
Mood swings/rages take me by surprise, like a switch has been flicked in my head.
Brain fog/feeling very detached from what is going on around me.
Feelings of Inability to communicate with people at times- resulting in monosyllabic answers and wanting to run and hide.
All been going on for around 5-6 years but certainly worse in the last 12 months due to family circumstances.
Been prescribed low dose AD’s which I’ve resisted for years but shall start in the next couple of months.
Unable to take HRT due to blood pressure problems.
I have a fantastic hobby which keeps me physically active and without this I’m certain helps me cope better with the above.
I’m 49 and clearly peri now from other physical symptoms.

DidoAndHerLament · 22/02/2018 08:03

Intense waves of dread/anxiety and a real sense of grief as though I have to mourn my life up to now (my youth?) before I can look ahead to the life I have left.

Oh. And tired all the time Sad

CrabappleBiscuit · 22/02/2018 08:18

I had it all, anxiety, depression, the Rage, night sweats, sore and achey.

HRT, sorted out the anxiety and depression and rage.

Angus castus for Rage.

Wool duvet for the now v occasional night sweat.

extinctspecies · 22/02/2018 08:49

Brain fog.

Emotional and prone to losing my temper. Used to burst into tears at work if things went badly. The Rage. Huge rows with kids and DH. This went on for years.

All much better since I started on HRT patches, although am still prone to anxiety & have difficulty sleeping.

NickyNora · 22/02/2018 16:45

Emotionally for me, the most difficult thing has been coming to terms with losing my fertility. I have hoped I would have one last baby since dd was born 4 years ago.

I also feel like I ran out of time, like I've been cheated of time.

I deeply regret some decisions I've made in recent years, there's nothing i can do about my choices now. I just need to look ahead.

MeganChips · 22/02/2018 16:58

This has made interesting reading. I’m 44 but my DM went through a very early menopause.

I am bored, feel flat and lifeless, everything is grey and I’m so angry all the time. Particularly at DH, I hate him half the time even though he’s done nothing wrong or different to usual. I don’t want to sleep with him although I do get urges in that area when I’m alone.

I don’t feel like myself at all and it’s beginning to worry me. It’s definitely having an impact or my marriage but I don’t know what’s real any more if anyone else gets that?

I’m on the pill for gynae problems which I think has helped a bit but it sucks.

chockaholic72 · 25/02/2018 08:33

Dreadful memory
Unable to learn or grasp new things.
A feeling of being completely overwhelmed
Feeling that I'm all washed up.
An intolerance of every single person on the planet.
Weight gain and low esteem
Lack of concentration and unable to prioritise.
Awful aches and pains.
Jealousy of younger women - I hate that I feel this way.
Straddling a knife edge of rage and tears.
Trying to come to terms with no, I really am not going to have a child.
Feeling like I'm watching it all happen to somebody else.
Losing interest in things that gave me so much pleasure like fell walking and cycling.

I'm 45 and this has all come on almost overnight. I have a female boss who has breezed through the change and who is not very understanding. I'm really scared that I'm going to lose my job. I started Femoston 1/10 last week and am desperate for it to make me feel better.

Oddsocks15 · 25/02/2018 09:14

I’m on HRT and anti depressants but emotional systems have been so bad recently I’ve made another appointment with Dr (end of March though)

Suidical and or running away thoughts
No interest in life, feeling flat and bored
Teary
Feelings of “is this it” and “what’s the point”
Jealousy of younger women- I too hate myself for this one
Weight gain, low self esteem
Moody

kath6144 · 25/02/2018 09:22

I seem to have only emotional symptoms, nothing physical except lack of libido

Anxiety/Catastrophising
Low mood/flatness
V occasional rage/Mood swings
Not finding joy in things
Teary

As a phoenix1973 said, I feel lost and don't know what the point is now. I'm going through the motions. I work, I function but I'm either numb, anxious ... just flat.

Have times when I take herbal remedies but not sure if I should be on HRT, even without physical symptoms. Is anyone on HRT for just emotional symptoms?

I'm almost 55, had Mirena for many years (I know this can cause low mood etc but never been a problem until recent years so haven't attributed low mood to that). No idea if post menopausal due to coil, but guess I probably am.

But as Op said, I also have a teenage DD who is hard work and maybe some of my problems are down to coping with that!!

haba · 25/02/2018 09:31

I feel as theliousMonk and MeganChips do. I'm 43 so didn't link it to menopause, and have v regular periods still. I assumed I felt like this because my D H is less than helpful.... maybe it's physical?

Oddsocks15 · 25/02/2018 10:04

kath read “what about me” by Kate Figes

haba my DH is pretty useless too, taken to dozing in the chair most evenings. He doesn’t listen, not really listen

Thanks to OP for starting this thread and making me realise I’m not alone on this path