I feel invisible

[cauliwauli]

I'm nearly 50, look good (ish) for my age, have spent a few months getting a decent wardrobe together that fits and flatters and I don't know why I bother.

Can't be arsed to get up and showered never mind made-up and dressed up. I have no social life at all (new to area) and I'm bored rigid.

Baby step suggestions please - and no, I'm not depressed, just bored stiff and feeling old :(

You do sound fed up. Have you children? They get you up I find!
I know the feeling of feeling old. I yearn for my younger self sometimes.
Do you work? I don't at the moment but do volunteer work which takes a lot of time and keeps me thinking a bit.
I need to sort out my wardrobe. I wear a uniform of jeans and jumpers. Very boring.
My social life is zero but not bothering me too much. It is hard to be new to an area. Anyone to even meet for a coffee?
Sorry to be pretty useless with suggestions.

Thanks for listening, no, I don't have any children and don't work.

I am nearing 50 and it is a strange time. All feels like change is afoot and not ready for it. l think I am trying to tell myself when I feel jealous of youth is 'hey the world is just as much ours while we are in it'.
Are you on your own or do you have a partner?
Is there something you feel you want to do- however small?

My OH retired early and we moved here for a quieter life but it's a bit too quiet!

It is a strange time I hardly recognise myself anymore and wearing glasses for reading makes me feel vulnerable when I forget them as I can't read a ruddy thing!

I see the next 50 years spanning out and instead I sould just focus on each day but it's all a bit weird.

Volunteering would be good. Do you enjoy it?

I do enjoy it. I volunteer at our local primary school. Could you do something like that? Schools are always looking out for people to listen to children read for example.

As for glasses I have always warn them. It will be varifocals soon!

Gosh your spelling obviously goes as you near 50- please excuse me!

I'll look into volunteering EJ, not sure if working with children would be my first choice as I have no experience of them but I enjoy the company of older folk!

What about reading to older people then?! Sure some would love that eg small print Newspapers etc. Do you have any supported living type places near you for older people who might want volunteers to perhaps be 'visitors'. Also what about hospitals?
Just thinking on my feet here!
As for no experience of children- you were a child once so you have got experience....

Thanks, I feel better for having aired my thoughts I'll look into getting out of the house, I need a sense of purpose.

Oh you are very welcome cauliwauli.
I am going to be very lazy now and have a glass of wine with Holby City!
Good luck with everything and be kind to yourself. xx

Ooh another thought for getting to know people. Have you a local pub that does pub quizzes? Not my sort of thing but my friend loves them and she goes with a friend once a week and sometimes wins. Does your OH like that sort of thing?
Ahh a child just got up again...
Bye for now and best of luck in your new home.

Thanks! xx

Exercise. Try to make it part of your weekly routine. Walking or jogging around your local area or swimming - whatever you enjoy. Apart from the obvious health benefits, it gets you out of the house and is a proven mood lifter!

Hi
Is your husband at a loose end as well?
Not sure quite where I am going with the question. I suppose I am wondering if you want to do joint things together, or seperate?

Good idea LB, will look into making that a routine I don't do anything at present

GD, both really but OH unsocial and enjoying a change of pace after working hard for years - it's me climbing the walls!

Why don't you work OP? Do you not have to financially, or are there other reasons?

49 is far too young to give up on things- recipe for feeling old!
I started my 2nd career at 50 and my 3rd at 55.

Each required re-training and the 3rd career was a life long ambition ( to write a book and get into print.)

You need a purpose. It doesn't have to be paid work- loads of charities are crying out for help from people with time on their hands.

Hi Lucy, no need to financially - lucky me - but I agree it's a recipe for feeling old.

Volunteering is sounding good but I need references and as I haven't worked for years it's a bit tricky! No friends to call on either :( Sad old bugger really.

Go to the website called Do-it.org- type in your post code and it tells you what's around- you don't always need references.

I think I'd still work even if I didn't have to for money- it's stimulating and makes me feel 'me'. sense of identity and all that.

I'm 48 and agree it's a strange time. I'm trying to retrain while working full-time and I'm so tired of people asking why I bother. It's like I should be winding down but I have 20 years left to my old age pension ( if it still exists at that stage!). Keep busy and get yourself 'out there'. Life is just beginning but you have to make things happen!

Age is a state of mind- the more you think you are old the more you live up to it.

Look at the people who are old and still working- Judy Dench almost 80, Maggie Smith, even go old Terry Wogan! Use it or lose it as the saying goes....

Great website Lucy, lots to think about - over 200 opportunities within 10 miles! Thanks :)

Witco - spot-on about getting 'out there' thanks!

Ha, I think I los it years ago - I've followed OH around for his career and at some stage I morphed into him lots of confidence issues as a result.

Thanks for your support everyone, it means a lot

I know I have to help myself out of this funk but it's been really helpful to chat here.

*lost