Sleep is for the Weak Reunited

[gingerninja]

As we're officially not the weakest of other posters on the sleep boards anymore, it's time to move on. So, here is the new home for those of us that have been on SIFTW so long we can't bear to leave and who finally, can think about other stuff to talk about.

So my SIFTW sisters, this is where the kettle is always on and we can talk freely about sleep, no sleep or anything that takes our fancy.

Ginger: I am really pleased for you. Have you told DH yet?
FWIW I've always felt if we waited for the 'best' time to have our children we never would.
Being at the other end of the process I'm going to the Dr next week to sort a better form of contraceptive (then condoms) and I am considering the implant. Despite being 98% sure I don't want any more babies I am reluctant to take any steps that are too drastic.
The great thing about feeling you are going to have no more is how excited you get about everybody elses pregnancies..

So yippee Ginger I am so happy to hear your news.

Well, poor DH has taken it a little hard. Happy as he is about more children he is, as you can imagine, really worried about not being capable of supporting his family in the way he wants to.

I'm not sure why but he takes the world on his shoulders and feels solely responsible for providing and because his illness is taking it's toll at work he's feeling a great anxiety that he'll have to stop working and won't be able to provide. I have told him that we have an equal responsibility but he has always had the tendancy to think the negative so all he can see at the moment is doom and gloom.

I think somehow this illness has made him feel emasculated, it's taken away his feeling of being in control and incapable of doing what he sees as his male responsibility. Personally, it's made me love him more. It's shown me a softer side to him, a determined, selfless and courageous side that doesn't complain and has proved what I already knew, that he's a great father because unlike me, even when he feels terrible, he always has time for his DD.

I wish he wouldn't worry about what might happen in the future and concentrate on the present but that's just the way he is. I know he's happy about the baby just not happy about himself.

Needless to say, we're both still a little emotional. We are happy but it's buried under a bit of a cloud at the moment.

Thanks for caring

Ginger, it must be really tough for you and your lovely Dh at the moment. I really feel for both of you. It must be horrible wanting to be excited and happy but having this strain and unease at the same time. I hope that your Dh takes on board what you are telling him, you sound lovely and supportive. I think it must be terribly difficult for him to feel that he is letting you down (I know that he is not but it seems that is how he is feeling) and I don't know what to say really other than I am thinking of you both. E-mail me if you want a longer 'chat'.

Hey Ginger, it's really tough for you guys. I understand that it's hard for your dh to see to long term when he's having a really hard time dealing with the illness right now. But you, my love, need him to be excited about the new baby emerging ...
It's tricky. I have no answers. Just empathy. And lots of e-hugs. I have so much respect for you and your dh (and dd of course!) xxx

Have just seen this: congratulations Ginger . Your DH sounds lovely and might just need a bit more time to come round to the idea. This pg was more DH's idea than mine and he was still a bit freaked when I told him (come to think of it, the same happened with DS). When are you due?

Meg: dropping to one feed didn't seem to be much of a problem. Am struggling a bit at the moment as it is bloody painful, but am hoping that will ease off. DS still demanding MIK at bedtime so I can't see him self-weaning any time soon . I think at this stage you should go with what you are happy with as well as what your DS wants.

you have the important things right there: he's happy about the baby, he's a great father to your DD despite being ill and he'll be a great father to your next baby . Only natural to worry about providing for another baby, esp in the current climate, but you'll get through whatever because you can get through things together, as this last year has proved.

Thanks for your kind words everyone. I think it's just such a shock to both of us because we envisaged being in control of the decision in the same way we were with DD. I'm pretty sure we wouldn't have made the decision to have another, at least not now but hey ho, we'll be fine and the baby wil be loved by all three of us i'm certain.

EDD by my calculations is 23 March so it really is early days

March is an excellent time to have a baby (my birthday is the 26th ). It'll the spring so you can get out of the house, you won't be massive over the previous summer (or Christmas) and you get to spend a good deal of February on the sofa

hey ginger, all will be well in the long run. this baby is going to be so lucky to be born to you guys.

just a bit off topic, did anyone elses toddler go a bit screwy at 18 months. i know moxie has talked about it on her site. he was such an angel and now has completely turned. he wakes up at 5am and screams and screams. wakes up screaming from his nap. has tantrums at every turn. won't sit down to eat. wants to go out of the house every second of the day. won't have baths, won't go in pram, won't walk, wont' blah blah blah. it's been going on about 2 weeks and i'm slowly going insane.

Amber: oh yes. def went haywire at 18 mo, esp the early waking and the tantrums. I think the early waking is a developmental thing and has gradually got better (i,.e. wakes at 5:30/6 rather than 4:30/5) but the tantrums carry on. Maybe they're getting into the terrible twos early. Things did improve as his speech came on a bit (mind you he has just had a screaming fit because he dripped a bit of milk on his foot )

Amber, we must buck the trend because DD turned into an angel at 18 months and then back to a monster at about 20/21 months.

Tantrums are coming on thick and fast now. I've had to develop a third strike and you're out approach. ie she's told twice what will happen if she continues/doesn't do as she's asked and the third time I count to three and by three she's either stopped or the consequence occurs ie removal of object etc etc. The thing I find difficult is when there isn't an obvious consequence so at bed times I'm really struggling with, if you don't lay down i'll????? we used the threat 'i'll leave the room', which isn't great as that really is my objective but I'm stumped what to do on that one'

EP my EDD according to my own calculations is 23 and I was a few days over with DD so maybe we'll make your BD.

hello lovely ladies,
i've just popped in today and finding all sorts of going ons!!

Ginger congratulations!!! i'm sure that you and dh will come out from under that cloud very soon. big hugs to you. i think thats one lucky baby

hi amber, lovely to 'see' you, long time...hope you get some later mornings soon. dd tried to fool me by getting up later for 5 days, then just when i was getting into it, she hit me with the 5am wakings again....minx!!!

roro glad things are better for you lovely to 'see' you too!!

effie hope things are progressing well for you

dd is really getting into the swing of terrible twos, for sure, cripes. doesnt want to go in the pushchair, then doesnt want to walk, wants to put her own shoes on then shouts when she cant do it and so it goes on........arrrrggggghhhhhhh!!!!
anyway, hope everyone is enjoying the sunshine, i'm off out in the garden, catch you all later....X

hey ep, ginger, tibs, thanks, it makes me feel like we're more 'normal' with all the toddler dramas. totally understand the spilt milk thing, if ds has a drip of anything anywhere, he stands and points and yells OH NO!!!!!OH NOOOOOOOOOOOO!! OHHHHHH NOOOOOOOOO!! until it is cleaned up. strange child.

HI EP, thanks for asking on the other thread, I'm fine although just getting over a stinking cold and starting to get a bit of morning sickness which I'm sure is earlier than last time. I'm certain I didn't get anything until about 8 weeks before.

The other thread wound me up, they don't normally but that one was possibly the most ridiculous I've seen on mn!

How's things with you? When is your EDD?

yes there are some odd threads on MN atm (I blame the heat )

EDD 30 Dec. All going OK apart from a dodgy blookd sugar result which meant I had to have a GTT today (ugh).

btw might need to pick you brains at some point about the lovely county of Essex as we are considering moving there (when we sort out this flat, grrr)

How is your DH?

I'm sure I got MS earlier this time as well, though not as badly. I get really bored of the first trimester, all worry and feeling ill. How far along are you now? Are you booked in yet?

I'm 6 weeks so not booked in yet. They do it between 8 and 10 here.

Essex is OK, there are some lovely places and some horrible bits, like every county I imagine. Where were you thinking?

Whats a GTT?

DH is up and down, he got a lot worse after starting the physio so had to stop and is picking it back up again now. It's a long hard slog and the Dr has now put him on AD's because he was cracking up and crying all the time so hopefully things will look up again soon. He's suffering with a cold we've all shared this week though which always seems to make his other problems worse.

The ADs sounds a good plan but they will take a while to kick in (and he may need to adjust the dose). I thkn they are a v good idea as a short term leg-up so you can concentrate on other stuff.

We were thinking of Colchester and surrounding area, mainly because DH is doing a lot of work for local companies at the moment.

GTT: glucose tolerance test, one of my blood sugar readings was a bit high so they want to test for diabetes. Bah. Am trying to cut down the sugary and fatty stuff in the meantime.

I don't know Colchester very well but there are some parts that seem very nice. Has much more character than Chelmsford which I think is a little dull tbh. It's always served a purpose though as I commute so it's a quick journey and DH works just outside the town.

The GTT is a bit of a worry then, I never really think of these things. Of course I was a lot lot healthier for the first prg. I just can not be bothered which is not the attitude but I just want to eat crisps.

Mmmm, I just want to eat almond croissants.

Ginger, you are amazing. YOu and hubby will get through this challenging time.

Am feeling blerk blerk nauseus and just got a very faint line ... so I reckon I'm joining the Up the Duff SIFTW graduates. Early days though. xx

OMG - huge congratulations all round.

Ginger, I hope DH is ok. The ADs should just give him a little lift, which will help you all to sort out the stuff that you need to do.

EP - hope the GTT was ok. Any news?

Amber - how far along do you think you might be?

Hope everyone else is well - any more BFPs among you ?

I am NOT pg . Actually, I think we think we're stopping at one. Can't really explain why, but DH and I both feel kind of comfortable with that.

We have the flat on the market at the moment, and have had a few viewings, but no-one's biting yet . I have an interview in Manchester in 2 weeks, but it's looking as though we've picked the wrong time to try to relocate...ho hum.

Congrats Amber!! Must be something in the water...

I'm not pg yet, afaik. But let's just say we're working on it!

Perkin, could you rent out your place for a while? That's what some people I know are doing, who have to move. Good luck with your interview.

Oh Amber, congratulations. Have you worked out your EDD? Well, this is becoming more exciting.

Perkin, I do understand being happy with one actually and oddly that didn't occur to me until I discovered I was preg with no 2. Not that I'm not pleased or excited but realise that if it doesn't work out, I'm happy the way things are. I'm pretty certain nay definate that I'm stopping at 2. I'd forgotten the horrors of morning sickness!

Meg, My DH says he feels a bit cheated because he didn't get to 'work on it' for very long

Congratulations Amber

Gosh we are a busy lot...

The GTT was fine btw, all normal and no need for any further action. Phew. 20 week scan next week so hopefully all fine and we may even find out the sex . Baby wriggling about quite a lot now which is v reassuring.

Perkin: good luck for the move, we're hoping to put the flat oin the market in Sep. August is a slow month anyway. Also looking into the renting out option if it doesn't sell quickly.

Did any of you London lot fancy the Museum of Childhood this week? A friend of mine went on Thursday and said it wasn't too busy. I can do any day apart from Friday, when I've got my driving theory test

That's a lovely idea Meg. I'm only free on Weds this week, but if you are going then I'd love to join you .