Olympic Park

[StitchingMoss]

Getting exciting now !

Ohh a new alias ..

Yes big gig has a lovely day - tons of presents so was quite happy although think the birthday cake and playing with her big Brother was her best part.

Sorry - super quick posts yesterday! Glad to hear big Gig had a good birthday - loved the pics.

How's DS now LaG? I hope he's properly on the mend. Pirate - you mentioned your dad, was it him who had a COPD diagnosis? How is he doing?

We're having a tough time with DS's behaviour just now. Lots of sulks/tantrums at the slightest thing. I thought it was just normal behaviour and casually mentioned it to a friend with child the same age who said (nicely, not horribly) that her DC (same age as DS) aren't like that - probably because having a younger sibling means there's no point the eldest getting sulky because they don't have time to give him attention. So now I'm feeling a bit that DS's singleton status is having a negative impact. Not that it's for the want of trying, but starting to feel DS will indeed be an only forever.

I wouldn't go that far super (sorry cut off posting as was trying to Mn and do breakfast earlier). Big gig has been pretty challenging (ESP when tired) and I know some of her little mates are similarly boisterous. She was warned at nursery yesterday for smacking another child who snatched something off her . I don't think she is Turning into a thug but I do think there is a line at the moment where they have to learn that world doesn't revolve around them and to try to control their impulses which is a hard thing to do when you are 4 and maybe tired/hungry so not at your best (not to say that they shouldn't be told but it's a long haul and I don't want you to think that it's just ds).

Re the mental/ physical side of illness, I think it's very underestimated but important. I have been lucky enough to have been offered tons of support which I have taken. But I don't think that is particularly usual. When I was in last week the counsellor woman popped by for a chat and was saying that people don't tend to take up the support and obviously you can't force them. However she did (and I think she isn't just saying it as its her job) say it tended to add to stress for patient and family when they didn't get hope.

Must have been very difficult for all of you and your mum with your dad. My mum on other side of it (very positive to quite ridiculous degrees) which has its challenges but probably more useful.

House looks like a pink plastic bombsite...

Help not hope

Hello, thank you for all your wise words on DF. He is a glass half full person but is brightening by the day. DS2 is much better and just waiting for skin to clear up.

Deb: so sad to hear of Ethan's diagnosis. Regardless of whether there are worse scenarios it's never going to be what you want for your child. Having had a day or two to digest the news how are you and your DH feeling now?

Secret: I think DS having a sulky phase has NOTHING to do with the presence of absence of a sibling in his life. DS has definite phases of being a PIA and it tends to be impossible to pinpoint why. Sorry too that you aren't having success yet with TTC. I will remain optimistic for you though. (Offerings of baby dust etc make me want to vomit)

Gig - glad big gig had a good birthday.

I started typing this whilst trying to let the boys romp on the sofa playing "circuses" and pile up all the sofa cushions. I have now stopped them after DS2 got crushed for the umpteenth time. I have realised that I am not great at letting my kids trash rearrange the house in the pursuit of happiness. I think I ought to be more permissive (if that's the right word ). Gee whizz, it's a struggle though. What's your approach on this?

Secret, I nearly spat my tea out at the idea that children with siblings don't misbehave ! WTAF!!! I'm sorry but your friend is talking utter rubbish. The eldest child gets sulky for precisely the reason that they feel they don't get enough attention!

Also sorry to hear about the lack of success re: DC2. Have you gone for any investigations or is that not an avenue you want to pursue? I did at the idea of LG using the expression 'baby dust' though!

Gig, I couldn't agree more re: psychological affects of serious illness. But my dad is very much of that old school generation of stiff upper lip and don't talk about it. He was diagnosed with COPD Secret, but that diagnosis has been dismissed now . It was made by his GP which is mad - no disrespect to GPs but they are not experts on lung disease! My brother (a nurse) thought it was nonsense as he's never met a COPD sufferer who didn't smoke and so insisted he got a second opinion from a consultant. The consultant predictably dismissed the COPD diagnosis and has ordered a battery of further tests .

LG, I'm very much of the 'benign neglect' school of parenting , but that comes with the very large caveat that DS2 is a year older than your DS2 and that makes a big difference. I have to admit I'm not very good at playing with the boys though and largely leave them to entertain themselves which they are brilliant at doing - the small age gap has certainly paid dividends now despite nearly killing me at the time .

Hi everyone, thanks for the messages. Feeling better about it now and it explains a lot about Ethan now and the difficulties he has. We just thought he was having problems walking, couldn't speak clearly and was partcularly moany when we went walking with him No wonder he gets very tired, he must be exhausted.Had parents evening tonight and we're wondering what the next step should be in school, Pirates now he has diagnosis can he go on sen register?

children with siblings - ds2 is the moaniest of ours

It's nice to hear that you all have your fair share of moaners and sulkers

To be fair to my friend, she wasn't really having a go at DS or the fact he's an only - I think we probably do pander to him a wee bit more than if we had more than one to worry about. I always thought I was pretty benign neglect but I think I can be a bit more helicoptery when with other people who have children the same age. DH is a nightmare for giving in to DS and we're not as consistent as we should be I think in responding to tantrums and sulks. However, we're taking a bit more of a hardline approach this week and being very consistent in response to any tantrums etc and talking a lot about consequences. We did have a couple of really major ones this week that involved me/DH getting kicked and punched. I think DS would benefit from some more consistent boundaries relating to acceptable behaviour. It has led to some major tears at bedtime this week but I think it's very slowly starting to make a difference. Time will tell. DH has just started bedtime so fingers crossed he can keep to the approach I've started this week!

Pirate - re investigations and yes at baby dust LaG. To be honest I'm not sure. My GP isn't great - I kind of just think that they'll say it's your age, live with it! I know that I don't want to spend years trying (not at this age). Something to think about I suppose.

LaG - glad to hear that DF is brightening and Pirate - glad to hear that the COPD diagnosis has been dismissed, though hope they get to the bottom of the problem soon. It did seem such a very odd diagnosis. There are some fab GPs obviously, but they're rarely experts in particular conditions.

Glad to hear big Gig had a good birthday Gig - is her party this week?

Deb - hope you get some good info on the how to approach DS's condition particularly relating to school. I can't believe all your 4 year old's are going to school in September!!!

Hi all- big gig party is next week. Am doing ok but suffering with stick neck etc. also nanny 1 had an emotional incident and cried as "we all hate her and she can't do anything right" (I had asked her to resort mini gig clothes, confirm something with dh etc). So I had to calm her down . We are interviewing a new helper nanny for nanny2 - if she is ok may let
Nanny 1 go early (to put it in context she cried on dh after he came home from my first day of chemo jncl going on about how he was hard for not crying ). So two types of pain in the neck

Secret- i would echo getting some kind of test. Yes your age is a factor but it's not a drop dead thing so still worth look. A good ovulation kit worth it's weight in gold too.

Lag- there is benign neglect here. Similar cushion building games (based on either the olympics or total wipeout) have caused near misses here. But I too have limits on how much mess (particularly when it comes to getting stuck into any make up).

Curvaceous- I suppose Gp meant well and I know it was a worry that odd dx but still frustrating not to know.

Deb- how you doing?

Deb, I would say your first step is going to see DS3's school SENCo (have nursery had any contact with him/her yet?). Will he need speech therapy/OT in school? If so, do they have programmes in place and someone to provide them?

Unhelpfully all local authorities have different funding structures, so in our authority he'd probably actually require a statement to access the S< and OT/physio that he may require. In others the school should have the funding to bring this in without needing a statement. I would try and have a word this side of the school holidays as these things can take time and they need to have the programmes up and running in September if that's the line the professionals want to go down.

Secret, I'm no expert but I do think that consistency and boundaries are two of the most important things you can do to manage behaviour - I certainly found that was the case when teaching, but it's much much harder as a parent . Have just lost the plot tonight with DS2 cos he wouldn't tidy his toys and when I threatened to put them all in the garage he asked if he could help me .

It's easier for me to practise benign neglect cos my boys have each other to play with - harder when you're DS's source of entertainment at home.

Keep going with the consistency though - and slap dh's wrists if he gives in . I have friends who practise very inconsistent parenting and they really are beginning to suffer for it .

Very hard to go down the investigations route when ttc but some simple blood tests could rule out certain things or even give you some idea of your chances. Having said that a 39 yr old friend of mine had tests last year that entirely ruled out a natural pg and she's expecting DC1 in August! So it doesn't necessarily prove anything one way or t'other.

Talking of fab GPs, the GP I had when I was first diagnosed with IF was absolutely bloody amazing - I actually cried the last time I saw her, and she gave me her email address so we could keep in touch. She was so delighted when we conceived our boys it was lovely. For some reason where I live now seems to be cursed with the most unbelievable number of awful GPs. Ho hum.

Wish us luck for tomorrow - we're potty training No 2!!

Doing Ok thanks Gig, came home today to a bunch of flowers in the post from my Mum, on the card it says "just because" Been to a music concert at Stefan's school tonight where he played trumpet (only been learning about 6 weeks so he said he mimed some!!) and Tristan played electric guitar and sang. Took Ethan along as we all wanted to go and he was as good as gold and it didn't finish until gone 9.30. He fell asleep on my knee near the end , when we got him home he woke up fleetingly singing "para, para, paradise"

Pirate, thanks for the sen info, the nursery teacher is talking to the senco this week, so we'll see what happens next. My best friend here is a ST so she's been doing unofficial ST with Ethan and I'm hoping that there may be funding for her to work with him in school (especially with me being f/t inSeptember)

LaG - Stefan especially needed that rough and tumble with sofa cushions at this age, Ethan 's different.

MSS - I can't believe our 4 year olds are starting school either, in Austria he'd have another 2 years in Kindergarten.

Thanks for all useful comments re: ttc. I may come back and ask more things. I had no idea that I could go off and have some blood tests to check on likelihood of future pg.

I'm panicking slightly over DS's birthday party. There is a mass exodus from Scotland in 1st week in July with the first week of school holidays and rush to beat the English holiday price hike and EVERYONE (it feels like) is on holiday. Only 4 children confirmed, with 6 still to hear from. Having hired a hall etc, I could feel very foolish. The only saving grace is that the hall can be divided. I think next year, we might think about having his party a week or two early - is that bonkers? Otherwise the poor boy will have a lifetime of no-one coming to his birthday party.

Deb - I loved the idea of Stefan miming at the concert. That's exactly what I would have done at school but that's because I'm virtually tone deaf

Concert sounds lovely deb - that song is also a big gig favourite.

I don't think an early party is a daft idea- big gig having joint party with another girl whose birthday in a couple of weeks for exactly that reason.

I am lurking at home- blood tests show my immunity low (standard for chemo. And shows having an effect) but best to keep out of crowded places etc for a few days til it picks up. I did have to go for a walk and buy loads of chocolate as was going mad at home.

How is the training of ds2 going pirate ? Called it a day?

Yep, called it a day ! You know my patience levels Gig .

Secret, I can tell you where half of Scotland is - in bloody Legoland! I think having an early birthday party is fine - loads of August kids do it in England. It's crap having your birthday when no one's around - mine was always in half term and I hated it!

As for blood tests, there are 3 main ones that spring to mind but my knowledge/experience is 5 years out of date so you need to speak to someone who knows more than me (try the ttc boards?):

LH - normally a Day 21 of your cycle blood test that checks whether you're ovulating or not.

FSH - tests for follice stimulating hormone. The higher the number the less likely the chances of conception, but it's a very blunt instrument. For IVF they were looking at anything below 10 - if it was over 10 then it suggested your chances of conception were less likely and over 15 very poor. My friend had two months of testing at 16 and then conceived 3 times - although the first two ended in m/c she is now 8 mths pg.

AMH - a much newer test and measures ovarian reserve I think, but I never had this as it had only just been introduced when we started IVF.

Deb, I would hope that you wouldn't have to pay for ST yourselves x

Gig, hope you're not going too stir crazy - must try and get a date in the diary before you go back to hospital x

Off to babysit now and watch We Need to Talk About Kevin - cheerful viewing!

Those are the main ones as well as thyroid test I think.

Defo need to get a date in the diary

MRI scan through for Ethan, Friday 13th July! Poor boy can't eat for 4 hours before so thankfully it's at 9.00 so he only misses breakfast, we've promised breakfast in a cafe afterwards

Ooh that's good. Nearer time do you want me to explain what they do so you can tell Ethan? It can be a bit alarming cos of rattling noise and close tunnel but I guess if they are are sedating him that helps.

Yes please Gig, that would really help, I've been trawling through MN for threads about MRI's and it says how noisy they are. Ethan will be sedated so he should just sleep through but I'm not sure if one of us will go in with him.Early post from you, how are things?

Not too bad- have had to take it easy as low immunity for last few days (should be ok by tomorrow) but actually feel ok. Early post as between baby/stiff neck and light mornings seem to wake early , go to bed early. Have had nice weekend as had friend round yesterday and got friends and their 2 year old over for lunch today so need to do a trawl for small toys before then .

It clicks and whirls in quite a noisy way - like a clunky old style lift or noisy microwave. Also get random bleeps. And it is very close- you are basically in a tunnel that is about 50 cm semi circle. They do usually give you headphones so between That and sedation won't be unbearable.

Does Ethan like sportacus ? You could tell him it's sportacus bed as it looks a bit like that.

Also if they give him an injection (completely normal as it helps show up tissue - nothing sinister in this. Most MRI are done for muscular injuries ) it might make him a bit queasy. That is why they say don't eat - the operators will have bowl water etc do are prepared . But a nice cafe breakfast is definitely in order.

What is everyone else up to?

Most significant thing that has happened here is that there was a big fair in the village at the weekend. DS1 was performing in it with 200+ other kids who also do gym club. Well we had the one child who decided to absent himself from the collection point afterwards before we could get there. Apparently he was "looking for Mummy, because I love mummy" . DH found him looking at the fun fair after 5-10 v long minutes. He was completely unphased by the whole thing unlike the poor lady who helps run the club with her husband who was sobbing when he was found. I don't feel cross with the organisers although I think some parents would, I just thought they did an amazing job with all those kids I have have a very independent minded/stubborn child. What do you think?

ohLaG what a long 10 minutes, and well done for being a sensible parent and not blaming the organisers, at least you know he loves you!!

Gig, thanks for the mri info, I have also posted on SN threads too. Felt a bit strange posting for the 1st time on a SN thread.How are you feeling today, hope you weekend went well.

3 more sleeps until we come down to London for Wimbledon

I think you were very sensible but must have been an agonising wait lag. Although I do like all the midsomer murder type activities that go on in your village( well obviously not the murders ).

It must feel odd deb but I bet there is some good advice on those boards.

I am doing ok - sports day for big gig today which has meant practice since 6.30... Also secret she is being a complete tantruming stroppy madam. Nanny2 thought it was her but I said we had all been suffering. So it is star chart and time out for all lashing out/bigger incidents.

Sorry Gig, I'm so tired I read your last sentence that you were going to start lashing big gig if she didn't start behaving!

Big believer in time out - certainly works with our two! Haven't had any success with star charts yet, but given the disaster that was potty training last week, think maybe we will give them a go.

Deb, must be a big mindshift for you wrt DS3, but hope you get lots of sensible advice both here and in RL ((((deb))))

LG, I think you were eminently sensible - and I admire the gym club for organising an event for 200 children! I've been in that woman's shoes, having lost a child on a school trip once (she'd decided to go to the shop with another group and their group leader hadn't noticed!). It was horrific. I've also been in your shoes which is even more horrendous, but I think you were right not to get angry with them.

I had to laugh at the Midsomer Murders comparison though !

A distracting thread especially for deb !

AARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!