Secret Garden

[BriansMum]

Hope this works, a shiny new thread girls - come on in .

I'd so phone them up Deb! You never know.

Update from here - DS started playing up again last night about 10pm-ish and there were no signs of an improvement by about midnight, so my very lovely DH ended up spending most of the night in DS's room with him to keep him happy so I could get some sleep. Not sure how much sleep the pair of them got sleeping on the floor with a cot bed duvet shared between them! DH came into bed about 6am and DS woke about 10 minutes later. So, they're off to the cinema this morning and we've had a 'big talk'. We've started a new reward chart for the week (he didn't get last week's reward because he didn't get enough stickers) and I'm going to order the gro-clock today. Going for a carrot and stick approach - if he's good then rewards, if he's not good then confiscation of toys will be the outcome. TV has already been banned for the entire weekend (which is handy because our Sky box got replaced yesterday so we have no programmes recorded on it). Wish us luck...

'Forever home' sounds very final I think Deb - it must add to the pressure of finding a home.

Enjoy the rugby G. How is DD enjoying her swimming? She's in an unaccompanied class now is that right? I'm hoping DS will move into that from Christmas - DH takes him swimming because I refuse to be seen by anyone in a swimming costume but it means if DH can't go for some reason DS misses out. He's got to master blowing bubbles in the water before he can move up though and he's not keen.

Deb - good tip about asda as it's not only cheap but quite decent quality.

Leo- sorry to hear bout nightmares. The get tough policy does sound way forward(star charts have worked well here for encouragement).

Swimming lessons going well (typing as I watch) - they don't do much more than s does but her confidence coming along. Just seen her doggy paddle for a toy using a noodle to float. She has always been quite lazy/slow on anything physical (late to walk, still won't use a scooter happily etc) so this is really good. It isn't that she isn't active but can be quite hesitant and slow on new skills. The best thing is the obsessive competitive mums seem missing today (I am usually subject to a load of chat on school entry, relative brilliance of their kids).

I only hope rugby this pm is less tense than this morning- we were lucky

Oh and agree ring them deb

Ooh, yes - I forgot about Asda. I've had some great quality clothes there for DS. In fact, a new one has opened near us so I must check it out - DS desperately needs some new trousers for nursery. His 18 month - 24 months are now a bit short (but fine on the waist) and I've been struggling to get some 2 year ones to actually fit him properly. Managed to get some straight fit jeans/trousers from Gap and M&S the other day, but the jeans were £17 so they're definitely not going to nursery!!! DS has now reached that age where the knees are going quickly on those trousers that do actually fit him - I suspect that there may be some correlation between this and the semi-permanent knee bruises he has

[groan] at competitive mums at the swimming G. How dull. Enjoy the rugby this afternoon!

Leo, that is so so tough re: sleeping . Can't remember whether it's been discussed or not but have you approached your HV team? I know HVs are seen as the devil incarnate on MN, but actually when we had our sleeping issues with both boys (at different times) they were a godsend and gave us good advice and lots of hand holding too. It does obviously depend on the individual - maybe I was just lucky .

The only other thing I would say about bedtimes/routines/bedrooms which may or may not help is that the DC never go into their bedroom except to sleep (don't I sound like a draconian mother! ). We made the decision early on that they would not be allowed upstairs to play (we have a chalet style house so only our bedroom and theirs upstairs) and they are lucky enough to have a lovely playroom downstairs so it works for us. This means that they have no toys upstairs and no books except their current bedtime stories. I don't know whether this has any affect on the fact that bedtimes are generally easy in our house or not, but it's worked for us.

Deb, definitely think you should ring the vicar and find out about the house!

Also agree with Asda for great kids' clothes - although lots of naff slogans for boys can be a bit off-putting .

Lol at being disloyal on the books Gig! Although Usborne are doing a great offer for the first two weeks of Oct if you're interested :

great offer on first readers

Hi to everyone else, must go and get on with some homework for my course now!

Oh, LG, showed your houses to mum and dad - mum thinks the Storrington one is the one you should go for , but dad thinks you should go for North Chailey as it's only 2 miles from here!

I am not bringing the topic of chailey up with dh again...but keen to hear how viewings went.

Leo hoping tonight easier

I am not bringing the topic of chailey up with dh again...but keen to hear how viewings went.

Leo hoping tonight easier

Better night tonight, thanks everyone. Not brilliant, but better. Fingers crossed we all get a much needed good night's sleep. Am feeling very thankful for having a great DH, who's been very understanding about me reaching the end of my tether.

Stitching - I think having a bedroom 'just for sleeping' would be ideal, but unfortunately we don't have a separate playroom (or the space for one). Speaking to the HV would be a good idea, but ours isn't great. If I'm being kind, I'd say she's over-stretched - the reality is that she covers an area that has large pockets of deprivation and tbh, families like ours don't really get any HV support beyond the absolute basics.

Luckily though, I have MN how's the housemaid's knee?

Ah, sorry Leo . thought u'd mentioned having a playroom. That does make a difference.

Good to hear u had a better night.

Knee is fine as long as I don't scrub the floors .

Leo e goes in her bedroom to play - also she seems happy when leave her at night as gets books to look at from side table etc.
Stitching is diagnosis on your knee just to take it easy until it eases?

Morning all.

Do people still scrub floors

A better night all round. Still the usual playing up/screaming etc at bedtime but it didn't last as long as it has being and I think he might have been asleep by about 9 which is a significant improvement! He still came into our bed in the middle of the night, but he must have gone straight to sleep - no screaming, putting on all the lights etc, so again, a vast improvement. He only got one sticker out of a possible 3 for last night so hopefully that will be an incentive to behave better again tonight.

DH and I are both being a bit shouty now which isn't really helping anything.

Anyway, distract me from my misery - I want to hear how LG's viewings went and Deb, have you phoned the rectory yet. Stitching I saw news of your new job on FB - can you basically work hours to suit yourself i.e. don't have to worry about childcare?

And where is mudwiggle?

Oh, I saw a post in about unemployment last night on here - the posters name and situation made me think of someone Welsh we all know... Sounds like she's having a grim time of it re: losing job.

yes I saw that too leo but if its what I think it is , wasnt there a long history of issues with the job (not excusing it, just saying it wasn't out of the blue).

I wouldn't know re cleaning floor as am not known for my house proud ways.

leo - I can't blame you for being a bit shouty - I think I'd have lost the plot long before you and dh did.

Am tentatively starting to ebay some old stuff (some old clothes of mine, bits of baby kit that I wasted cash on in pfb fever ) to see if any takers. Am trying to see if can balance what little I do buy on baby johnny wilkinson (I am sure e didn't move like this) with getting rid of the heap of old stuff we need (sadly I am getting nowhere with the golf clubs that have sat in our downstairs cupboard for 5 years).

stitching (and deb) - as teachers (and not as usborne lady ) - would you recommend those readers? Am torn about knowing what to do next with e as she is keen on saying sounds/letters and wants to know what words are when we read (ie what is that g for, trying to follow sounds) . I'm all for encouraging her but how do I do that (without turning into one of the swimming pool mums on competition front)?

School is meant to be moving onto phonics (it does this quite early) if they known sounds of certain letters (which she does - its only about 5 of them) . However I am not completely convinced yet that teacher has measure of whole class (or even knows who half kids are...) so that may be someway off.

You're right G - lots of history (excusing the pun) on that particular employment issue.

Sounds like a good plan to ebay stuff that you know that you won't use again. I've got some stuff set aside that I keep meaning to do the same with, but just haven't got round to it yet.

I'll be interested in Stitching/Deb's replies on the letters etc. DS is constantly telling us that 'he's sad that he can't read' but I'm not sure where to start on that one (I too, don't want to be one of those pushy types - it's 2 years before DS goes to school). I'm guessing that the local schools use phonics, but they don't seem to in pre-school. I'm happy to start teaching him some letters/sounds but I don't want to use the wrong approach and make life harder for him when he does start school. I'd always planned just to wait for him to learn at school (because teachers are obv much better at this kind of thing than me) but 2 years is a long time! I have ordered one of those wipe clean numbers type books for him to practice numbers at home (when he wants to).

Do you not scrub your floors every day Leo??!!

Yes, the job means that I can work around the kids and shouldn't need childcare - although I'm waiting to hear about hours/money to see if I ask the CM to have them for at least one day a week. If it's very full on I don't want to be working every evening and weekend to keep on top of it .

The employment thread is about who you think it is - how for her. A nightmare scenario as she won't get anything near her, the employment opportunites there are so limited.

Reading, hmm. Well, of course, Gig, I think you should order at least two copies of those book packs - one for each child . It's such a tricky one - I have a few friends already madly trying to teach their 3 yr olds to read and write, whereas I have to confess I'm doing nothing. This is partly because I'm not a trained reception teacher so actually don't really feel confident in 'teaching' reading (doesn't stop my friends who aren't teachers at all of course!) and partly because I'm concerned about making this a chore at a very young age.

However, having said that do you remember those phonics books you bought for DS1? He really enjoys those and I am starting to use them more often just to introduce him to the idea of sounds - and he can now recognise about four letters but that's it.

I think Deb is better placed to answer this one - (a) because she has older children and (b) because she teaches school starters.

(Deb, if you persuade Gig to buy the books I'll give you a cut !).

Oh and yes, the knee does just need resting.

Feeling very broody today - been out at a Thomas Day and absolutely surrounded by families of 3!! Be still my confused hormones . . . .

Does feeling sick and having lovely braxton hicks in heat not put you off stitching?

I have dug that pack of books out too (as makes a welcome change from the cat in the hat). It's a hard one ro encourage but no push or teach wrongly.

Hello

Not sure I will get time tonight but would love to tell you all about the viewings yesterday. I am v confused. Contemplating most expensive house in the worst condition that is a bit of an ugly duckling. We could turn it into a swan.

Got my parents here, need to fill in all the solicitors forms and get some ironing done. gah back later or tomorrow.

Hmm, no, sorry, it doesn't Gig .

I think re: pushing/encouraging, etc - only you know your child. Some parents force reluctant kids to sit down night after night doing school work while their miserable offspring cry, protest and beg to go and do something more interesting! Other kids enjoy the challenge of learning and seeing improvement.

At 3 I think reading books to them is obviously the best thing you can do, and allowing them to do lots of 'mark making' without too much prescription as whether it's the 'right' marks (i.e. properly formed letters). If they're enjoying it, keep going, if not do something else!

I think you'll know when they've had enough .

LG, sounds like you've had a productive weekend!

will respond about reading tomorrow, off for a drink with toddler group mums tonight, and seeing the rectory on Thursday morning but feeling jittery about listed building status.

Hope you enjoy the drinks Deb. Must be good to be making some friends in the village.

Saturday was a confusing day here. We saw 8 houses. Some we could instantly rule out, and with others it is more complicated.

We saw 2 in Storrington. The one you have already seen that in August we had put a low offer on (that they reasonably turned down). Then a second that is more of an "executive home". The house itself was ok, but was ruined by trees at the back making the house dark. I mean really dark at 10am on a sunny day. I am now also not at all convinced that Storrington would be a good option in terms of location. Too inconvenient and far from anywhere else. DH still keen on dream house though.

Then we saw this one hurstpierpoint. This is the most expensive a bit of a stretch, and needs quite a lot of cosmetic work to be done to it as it is pig ugly. It is also quite unloved at the moment because the couple are divorcing and their 5 kids seem to have free reign with the biro on the walls. The positives are: commuter links for DH's 2 offices and London, nice village, great school, fantastic views from the back of the house. The right move photos don't really do them justice. I think we may put an offer in tomorrow, but it will probably get turned down as we can't afford the house and the work that needs to be done to make it pleasant.

Then we went to Newick which is a pretty village but less convenient. We saw two houses that are both a bit small when inside them, but lovely in many ways. Just not right for us:
fonthill
harmershill

Then we fell in love! With the ugly 1970's house that non of you said you liked. rodmell it is a really inspiring space and would be a great place to bring up a family. BUT it is in a small village with no shop, and pub that they are trying to reopen. It does have a primary school of 70 pupils, but the toddler group only has 9 mums. I would be completely dependent on the car to do anything. So reluctantly we have said no

finally we went to East Grinstead and saw a very nice wing(I.e. Semi d) of a Victorian house StAubyns. Then a vile house that we couldn't get out of fast enough PortlandRd very crowded not helped by the crazy amounts of clutter the owners had filled it with.

Got to go. Burning tea at the moment.

Dh says rodmell bad flooding area so does that ease the blow lag? I like staubyn too and one you put offer in on is lovely so fingers crossed. (we bought this off a divorcing couple although for reasons best known to agent wouldn't tell us that- it was pretty unloved but not as bad as house I saw years ago where all and I mean all the imternak doors had been removed by the husband and house was covered in wall paper rips, plastic where stuff had been ripped off the Walls - it was a se London version of that fi,l war of the roses (and I didn't buy it).

Enjoy the drinks deb- listed isn't terminal just more red tape . If you are planning in still doing the let's may also be a bonus as it's a feature.

V tired. It does seem harder this time- I assume this is normal - got so cross when people a work mentioed when I was going on ml with dd1 , now I am looking forward to it.

sorry for typos - tired and iPad

Ooh, houses - a welcome distraction from revision. I liked the house you're thinking of putting an offer in - although I cannot believe how poorly presented it is on right move! I really liked the St Aubyn one too - I'm a bit obsessed by floor plans and I liked the layout in that one.

Had a better night tonight so far - DS let me come downstairs without any tantrums. I've been working in the kitchen since then so not sure if he's cried or anything (though if he properly kicked off I would have heard him).

Hope you're having a good night out Deb. I've got a couple of long-overdue (but ill-timed) girls nights out coming up - I can't wait!

G - I can imagine pregnancy must be 100x time harder when you already have a pre-schooler to look after. I hope you're getting opportunities to rest.

Ok - time to go and watch some tv to switch my brain off before bed!

We offered on the ugly Hurstpierpoint house yesterday and it was accepted this morning!! Really surprised as we went in with an offer we didn't think they would go for, but it was the best we could do so told the agent it was the maximum (as it was).

Yay! I did wonder if they would be open to offers as they were divorcing . In a depressed market it would be a nightmare to be stuck in a house you couldn't sell with a partner you didn't want to be with! The views are to die for, and it's close to my parents so I can bug you whenever I come down to see them !

Have had a horrendous couple of days workwise - the school that offered me that job a couple of weeks ago phoned on Monday and said the job offer was back on as they couldn't afford the other teacher. I was delighted . They asked me to come in and do a day's supply next week and then we could move from there. Deputy said she would just confirm all Tues am and then phone me about 10ish to sort out finalities. Yesterday 10am came and went, I put in a chasing call, nothing. 2pm came and went, then 4pm - 6pm she eventually phoned me back and the Head had changed his mind again and offered it to the more expensive teacher cos "he didn't want to let her down" . So it's ok to let me down then .

I did not take the news well and spent most of last night in tears. I had totally psyched myself up for work and can't believe they did this to me TWICE!

Feel a bit better today but still very disappointed and blue about it all.

Right, have 40 statements to write - better be off!