Secret Garden

[BriansMum]

Hope this works, a shiny new thread girls - come on in .

Absolutely - if you are a Catholic getting children baptised is obviously entirely reasonable. The conversation we had here was more like "well DH's granny was Catholic but my family are CofE, agnostic blah blah... I think we will go for Catholic though because they have the best schools."

I was thinking last night that Leo and stitching would say that private was wrong too. As I was privately educated and can see the benefits I got from it I suspect I will consider private for the boys at some stage. It will depend though on what the state and private options are near us at the time. I understand the moral objections to private education but I feel that faking your religion is a worse choice because it is dishonest. At heart though I a more of an individualist in my politics than you two are

Gotta go. Creche time at the leisure centre.

Also Stitching I am interested in why numeracy and literacy are so poor. Do spill.

Laguerta - also went to private school
And e at one too. I can see your point Leo (and stitching) about abolishing them . I think only a revolution would bring real change in education generally (and this is absolutely not about quality of teaching but more to do with attitudes to raising kids and learning generally) . Oddly I don't have an issue with socialism Education when on a scandinavian model- it's the ad hoc mash up of policy that seems to happen that I find hard to stop (sorry get emotional
Here but still scarred by my maternity hospital experience - and that has I am afraid made me less liberal than I was).

Stitching you would be proud- have bought a blanket to knit for baby -and picked up a knit your own advent calendar book for my mum.

Deb remind me again why playmobil advent calendars are to be avoided- was sorely tempted earlier...

Gahhh! Nina and the Neurons did "what are belly buttons for?" today. Fast forward 10 mins and we are now eating tea with DS1 asking "how did I get in your tummy Mummy". Help!

We had this yesterday(not about how you get in your tummy but what are belly buttons). Fortunately e got distracted..
Can you say so something about it being a seed being planted - I am all for good explanations but I think on this one would hunt out a book that would help.

E still disbelieving about bf- thinks you feed from mums neck which is worrying given we do have a transylavanian nanny

Gigglebiz- it's Justin "jump the shark" moment isn't it?

Completely agree with everyone re: pretending to be of a faith to get into school. I find it a bit offensive. On private schools, I completely understand why people go private if the local schools are poor. What we should have however, is schools that offer a great education to all our children. Where I live, 1 in 5 children go to private schools and I think that damages our local state schools. In my area the schools aren't great - the catchment includes a fairly affluent area where most children go to private school. Call me cynical, but I think if they went to the local schools they'd be a lot better. It can't be a coincidence that some of the worst schools everywhere are in the most deprived areas.

In other news, our night time battles have re-started. Tantrums till 10pm last night then again at 4am. It's just kicking off again upstairs...

Lots of education talk here, like you LaG, we watched educating Essex and thought it was great, that deputy head is fantastic.

With Austrian education, it is very Catholic and in religious education they don't learn about any other religions. I like the fact that they stay at Kindergarten until age 6 but then primary education we found very narrow, no creativity, no communal school events, and very traditional teaching methods. Secondary appeared to be better from the month or so that Stefan went , and it was certainly more relaxed as there was no school uniform. I like uniform as it stops the peer pressure to have the right clothes ,and I do think they look smart but dh who was a secondary teacher said that so much time is wasted on it (as in the tv prog), and something I hadn't thought about, it provides a whole load of rules to break.

Leo, here's something to cheer you up on your stressful bedtime situation, I have come on here tonight to admit that I, Debra, have bought a Christmas present in September

Gigondas - loving the transylvanian nanny, I have an image of Mary Poppins crossed with someone from Rocky Horror show. Playmobil calendars, just seem to be a waste of money imo but E is a year on now so probably would be OK.

Took Ethan for a follow up hearing test on Friday and he hasn't got glue ear now, and there's no problem with his hearing so now we can start on the speech therapy route, once again. My boys have got progressively worse with speech, just as well we stopped at 3. Ethan is saying lots more and his vocabulary is increasing dramatically but still very unclear, especially now he's in Nursery and telling me things out of context.

How long will speech therapy route take deb?

Also I did some early Xmas shopping today (nick choosing e's present as I have a shelf of little presents I have bought over year Eg books so can use some of this). Just need to think of something for dh.

And deb you have reminded me why I don't want a advent calendar- if the toys are complex the calendar would be a nightmare.

Think we have decided on new car- Vw sharan. Was exceptionally unimpressed with ford (test drove an s max). Prob not helped by fact wasn't actual model we wanted (had sold that), bits didnt work on it and it smelled of sick (am not joking!). Would have to be some car to get over all that.

Leo sorry about bedtime battles- we have a version of reluctance every night (all sorts of excuses) but doesn't always lead to tantrums. Am not looking forward to fact that baby may make it worse

Lots of chat to catch up with .

Private education is such a tough one - I was also privately educated and hated it (left and went to a state school in Y9 but utterly trounced my privately educated friends with my GCSE results, but that's a whole other argument !). Like Leo I see the appalling damage that the existence of private schools does to the state school system - Bristol (where I grew up) is one of the worst affected cities for this and it really is desperate with parents either paying hundreds of thousands for houses in the catchments for the tiny number of decent state schools, or paying for private education. Obviously this seriously disadvantages those who can afford to do neither.

Private schools will never be abolished but I'd love to see a government with the backbone to remove their charitiable status because that's an utter disgrace and makes me so .

Not sure what you mean by being more individualist LG, or is that just a euphemism for being right-wing .

As for what I think is wrong with the education system, it is only my theory and one many people may completely disagree with! I was shocked when I started teaching at the standard of education amongst many of the younger teachers I worked with - clueless about basic grammar, spelling, etc. I was also horrified by some of the new teaching methods used, especially those instigated by the National Numeracy and Literacy Strategy. I think a lot of the problems stem from trying to cover far too much in primary schools which means children don't grasp the basics before they're moving onto something else. And don't get me started on the new methods of teaching maths!

Leo, so sorry to hear the bedtime battles have returned .

LG, I can sell you a book on explaining the birds and the bees to pre-schoolers .

Deb, congrats on buying your first Christmas present!

Right, where's that wine . . .

Gig - ST will take a while, there's lots to work on! I'll take him for his initial assessment next week, got in quick as he can tag onto Tristan's appointment, but then it will be a few months I imagine before he gets a block of sessions.

Stitching - love the clip

Can recommend a zafira .

Good that E is getting ST deb - I have a friend who's 3 yr olds speech is v poor but ST said nothing to worry about . I think it's cos he's just not a priority for their stretched services which is such a shame when he starts school in a year.

Kia Sorento here,5 seats and 2 that fold down in boot, 4wd, I love it but it's a diesel guzzler.

Working tomorrow, bit scared as I'm actually planning the work this time , not just going in and teaching someone else's work. I'll be on my feet by Friday, but today I've had a lovely morning with a friend who moved into the village just after us , Ethan and her dd are best of friends and we went for a walk in sunshine and then coffee and cake, bliss.

Good luck tomorrow deb. Not much sign of promised sun here

Friend has Kia sorrento and loves it. Dh has lifelong aversion to vauxhall so that never entered the lengthy list of
Cars stitching - must be only one that didn't.

Right two Aibu for you (no way am I posting there as it is even more feral than usual with sahm wohm rubbish).

Aibu not to want mil with us for Xmas? Not that she is anywhere stitchings mil in annoyance but she is difficult at best of times and now not in best health with fading memory (she forgets I am pregnant which child is which etc all in space of a ten minute call). Added to that she has very bad knees so struggles in our town house. We have had had her 2 out of last 3 xmases but not sure I can face It this year when baby will be a month away and wanted Xmas at home just us. I know am not really being Aibu but I also feel a bit sorry for her as neither of other bil keen to have her -bil 2 had her last year and she is really horrid to him and bil 1 lives Near her so they do a lot of looking in on her.

Second one is more a wtf than Aibu.internal meeting today with bloke at work who is trying to encourage people to feel more confident and get Better at talking to clients (there is something to this as we are a lot of accountants not all of whom have best commuications skills myself included). Anyway this guy is setting himself up as something of a mentor and expert on this area.

So his opening gambit (not met me before) seeing I was pregnant was when is is it due, what is it - all normal small talk. Then get to think its a girl and I mention already had a dd and anyway really don't mind what it is. To which he replies i bet your dh secretly wants a boy !! . let comment go saying he didn't mind and had dss (shouldn't have said that as what difference is that). But am really looming forward to what this tool can teach me on good client relationships as if I was a client my firm probably wouldn't be getting any work after that...

Evening all. Bit weary here - still not getting much of an evening with DS and had a few bad nights so a bit sleep deprived

No I changed to wine as could no longer keep up on e's favourite tv characters.
Sorry about rubbish bedtime Leo. I have no idea what I want for Xmas or even my birthday which is next week.

I suppose I could have mil but never had xmas with just us at home and wanted to enjoy it without anyone else.

God knows why bloke setting himself up- seems he is a bit of an arse.

Any views on labour conference stitching or Leo? Fwiw I dont think a vat cut will help any. And what is ken livingstone doing as how many non London types give a toss re mayor and those that are there will vote for him anyway?

I do sympathise re: Christmas G - what does your DH think?

I actually haven't seen any of the conference apart from reading a speech by the new gen sec who I know. I'm not a fan on Ken generally but I'm hugely out of touch with London politics. I would have liked to have gone though - it's a great event. I realised this week though it's been 10 years since I went which makes me feel old

Ashamed to say I've watched none of the Labour Party conference at all , just feeling a little despondant about all of them at the moment. Uncertain times . . .

Hope today goes well deb, am very . How are you organising childcare for E while doing supply?

Gig, that bloke sounds like a complete twunt and he definitely wouldn't get any business from me if he dared to comment on my family like that. Why are people so bloody rude . One of my NCT friends (who I've spoken to Gig about before re: secondary infertility) is really struggling to get pg again, she was at a hen weekend a couple of weeks ago and one of her 'friends' gave her a half hour diatribe on why she was selfish to have only one child . Why do people think they're entitled to comment??

As for your MIL, that's such a tricky one. Could you have her for a really short period of time so you've done your bit but also had some time alone? I hate family Christmases with the in-laws cos MIL just drapes herself over BIL the whole time and I struggle to keep my dinner down . Families eh? Who'd have 'em?

Leo, totally get the karma thing - I really don't want my boys' wives to think of me in the way I think of my MIL, but then she has treated me like shit for 18 years and I'm hoping I wouldn't behave like this!!

Enough of the talk of Christmas, any suggestions for DS2's 2nd birthday?! When you have two boys so close in age it's very hard to find new things to buy!

Oh, and any views on sleepovers - one of our NCT group is banging on and on about them but we think 3 is far too young. What do you think?

at image of mil over bil.

My mil lives 2 hour each way away so short visit tricky . Also dsd loathes her so that would cut short her visits (can't blame her as even my mum was appalled at some of things mil said ). Dh not keen on having her (long history of mil favoring bil). So may hope for best - dh getting on so well with Dsc ESP dsd and with them away a lot it seems a shame .
Re presents - mate at work suggests bright stuff as has lots of nice toys . Also Lego or playmobil or has that been done to death?

Re conference doesn't sound like speech went down well- will check it out later. And who was it who was booed?

Can I ask a very early question but it is bothering me? What did you do for childcare when in hospital ? My mum will stay (and nanny lives locally andwill cover which is better- I know I moan at times but I feel more easy leaving nanny than my mum with e).

at your friend and comment re kids. Had opposite today about someone trying for no 2 in time for school term so could cover childcare ... I was quite mild saying I envied anyone who had it easy conceiving

Quick one to say today went well, couple of lively children, need to stamp on them a bit tomorrow. I feel so tired though, Ethan decided that last night would be good to wake up at 4.00 and shout and cry to come into our bed. We ignored him and he did shut up and go back to sleep but it took a while.I do not know how full time working Mums do it. I will be dead on my feet by Friday.

sleepovers at 3 are they mad???? They will be crying to come home at bedtime or even worse at 4.00 in the morning. There is PLENTY of time for sleepovers.Why do some people want their children to grow up so quickly?

Completely agree deb re sleepovers - mad .

I think going back into work when you have been off (holiday, maternity leave ) destroys you- it not that you do nothing at home but it's a different pace.

Did someone mention sleep-deprived full-time working mothers?

I'll have to stop going on about it before I start becoming one of those mothers who thinks no-one else has it as hard as I do! I remember DS's godfather droning on about his lack of sleep until his DD was about 5 - we used to think he was just a bit moony about it.

Presents. Hmmm. What about a marble run if you could trust DS not to try to eat the marbles? I got a nice one from an ebay shop. More duplo? Something for the garden - pop up football goals etc? union jack scooter?

I haven't seen any of today's conference coverage - I think Ed might have been booed when he said he wasn't Tony Blair?

And sleepovers? Hell, no! I've got a couple of friends with similar age children I would take if they were stuck for an overnight babysitter (neither have family nearby) e.g. if they had a wedding to go to or something, but I won't be entertaining the idea of a sleepover for some time yet. DS is a nightmare at bedtime as it is (I may have mentioned this once or twice) and he's 10x worse when we stay at DB/SILs with DN who is just a year older. Stitching - your friend is bonkers for even considering it!

Share all the at thoughtless comments. I've had the odd 'oh you can't leave DS an only child' from people who barely know me and lots of fairly direct questions from SIL about if we're having another. I'd NEVER make those kind of comments. You have no idea what someone's situation might be - even people you're close to. It's such a personal thing. We've got close friends who we always expected to have a large family but have an only. I have no idea if that's through choice or not - they haven't said and I'd never ask. SIL has been pointing out my age to me recently and saying we'd better be getting on with it (I'm 39 in Jan). For all she knows we could have been trying unsuccessfully for the last year. My other SIL had DN just a few months after my first MC. When we went to see her for the first time and I was holding her (you can imagine how hard it was) SIL said 'isn't she adorable - don't you just want one'. In case you're all wondering though , DH and I haven't ruled out trying for another, but we'll be perfectly happy if we only have DS. No idea how easy it would be to conceive again and I really wouldn't want to be trying beyond 40 (although I know lots of women have perfectly healthy pregnancies at 40+) which leaves us a short window.

I am always slightly in awe of you for working and doing your extra qualification Leo.

Never too late - I am 39 next week and it prob would be last chance saloon next year given my age and dh age.

Re sleep deprivation I do sometimes think I am due a bad sleeper but then again e might not be the worst but I have had my share of early starts , late nights (she is a devil too when we go away anywhere Leo- I am asleep she is yelling at me to wake up if are in a hotel and she is in with us).

Sounds like you were right- it was mention of Blair that got them booing.