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Mature study and retraining

Talk to other Mumsnetters who are considering a career change or are mature students.

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Original poster

Motivate me to go university with two kids :(

36 replies

Noodlenation · 22/07/2023 21:55

I went to an open day at university and decided uni wasn’t for me and just wanted to work. I was 18. Fast forward to 33 and I’m full of regrets. I’m now a useless uneducated mother with no degree and nothing for my kids to look up to.
now that I’ve got kids, I’m being told from friends and family to go and study. But my mind is just like how. I’ve got responsibilities.
ive heard of the struggles that people have as mature students. Do I want to get into that. Or do I get a grip and make something of my life.
just so confused.

OP posts:

UpUpUpU · 22/07/2023 21:56

It is very hard but if you choose a degree that will take you into a career, then go for it!

DustyLee123 · 22/07/2023 21:57

How about doing some sort of access course first, to see how you go, without committing to the degree ?

Valhalla17 · 22/07/2023 22:00

You don't necessarily need to go to uni to make something of yourself....

What did you want to do with your life? What subject are you thinking of?

Misspinkdiditinthelibrary · 22/07/2023 22:00

I can't really help you OP because I went to Uni the 'normal' way.

However a friend of mine put herself through Uni as a single (divorced) parent with 2 teenage kids. (And she got Hons )

She worked PT as a weight loss consultant at night to help pay her way. However, she was fortunate in that she lived within travelling distance of a Uni that did the course she wanted.

God luck !

mintbiscuit · 22/07/2023 22:01

Do you actually need a degree? I haven’t used mine to get ahead in my career. I’ve worked my way up and relevant done side qualifications along the way.

i’m a senior manager and am much more interested in work experience than degrees.

PimpMyFridge · 22/07/2023 22:03

It's really not easy. Emotionally and logistically the challenge was high.
I did it, the reason it worked was that I was highly motivated because I had a clear goal and reason for doing it (interesting subject, career in mind).

And, crucially, it was financially achievable (not easy, mind, but achievable).
If I was just doing it to fulfill others expectations, or it was emotionally and logistically and financially difficult I don't think it could have done it.
So I think you need to examine the options from your own point of view.
Not having a degree does NOT mean your kind have nothing to look up to. Neither of my parents do and they were and are huge role models.

HippeePrincess · 22/07/2023 22:06

I think it’s only worth a degree if it’sa direct route to whatever it is you want to do as a job.
i did it as a single mother to two kids they were 2&5 when I started. I will say that while it’s the best thing I’ve ever done it was also the hardest thing I’ve ever done too.

KingsArmy · 22/07/2023 22:08

Hi OP, I'm similar to you in that 4 years ago (late 30's) I went and did my BSc (1st) and MSc. I'm a single mum to 5 and wanted to set an example to my kids and get a good job. Unfortunately it's been SO difficult to get anything decent and I'm working in sainsburys bakery now.
My advice would be to either go to uni to qualify in a specific role, so don't study anything to vague OR scrap uni and get a job then work your way up. Ive found that the degree gets me through the inital stages but my lack of experience in the workplace has held me back. Experience is key !
I'm in massive debt because of it and it seems pointless now.

ArbitraryHaddock · 22/07/2023 22:08

Why do you want to get a degree?
What do you want to study?
How old are your kids?
How much support would you have?
Would it have to be full time?
Have you thought about some kind of adult returnship/Working your way up?

I did a degree as a single parent once my kids started school and now have a doctorate. It was the best thing I’ve ever done. But I had the support of my children’s father, and I really did it for me, and this was et years ago. Only you can know if it’s worth it for you. Good luck.

PermanentTemporary · 22/07/2023 22:08

I'd say no, I won't. If you're not motivated from within yourself, then don't do it.

I did a degree with a 3 year old and it was bloody hard work and we lived on oats and value baked beans for 3 years. I don't regret it as I do enjoy the job I'm doing as a result, but it had to come from me.

Like others I'd say what about a job with some training prospects instead? What appeals to you? What does 'making something of your life' mean to you?

As for learning or getting an education, there's a lot of ways to do that without university.

MulticolourTriangles · 22/07/2023 22:09

I am 33 with 2 DCs age 8 & 5 and have finished my first year of a healthcare course. It’s hard and sometimes the juggle is stressful but if it something you really want to do, you will find a way.

Temporaryname158 · 22/07/2023 22:09

Apply for professional apprenticeship courses in your area of interest. You can do them in all sorts of professional roles

accountancy
civil engineering
mangement

just to name a few

this will allow you to gain a professional role, someone else will pay all of the course fees so you have no debt and you have a job at the end of it.

I think it’s the better thing to do in your circumstances

also to note you aren’t just a mother, have self confidence and go and get the career you want!

WhatWhereWhenHowWhy · 22/07/2023 22:10

You aren't useless.

University isn't the only way forward, however if you do want to go, plan a career path and you'll need to be very dedicated and clear in your goals.

I'm going back to do my masters, will have a 3 year old this time round of studying. I'm under no illusions it's going to be hard.

Chewbecca · 22/07/2023 22:11

Agree with PPs, perhaps you can do something without a degree, it doesn't sound like you are that keen on it so it is unlikely to be a great success.
I did accountancy exams with no degree & this can be a great route to a decent career.

thesandwich · 22/07/2023 22:11

Contact the national careers service to find out about all options.

Northernsoullover · 22/07/2023 22:12

I did a degree in environmental health. All my cohort have very well paid jobs so it absolutely was worth it. I did it as a lone parent. I'd definitely recommend it if you choose a vocational degree. Not psychology or English lit at this stage of life.

PurpleFar · 22/07/2023 22:14

Have you looked at The Open University? Lots of students who study with them have kids and work, etc.

Gladtoblasto · 22/07/2023 22:38

Do it at a pace that works for you and do it as a remote student. My dad started his degree when I stated mine but spaced it out over a longer period of time.

determinedtomakethiswork · 22/07/2023 22:49

I would go in a heartbeat! What do you fancy doing for a career?

Vettrianofan · 22/07/2023 22:57

Open University is a good shout.

decaffonlypls · 22/07/2023 23:12

I did a degree at 35. It had all the lectures in one day so I worked part time did a day at uni , a day work exp and had a day for study . I have two kids. They were 11 and 13 when I started I found it fine.

DustyLee123 · 23/07/2023 07:09

Martin Lewis was on recently, talking about degrees for young people. He basically said not to bother if you could get to your goal without one, he advocated apprenticeships, unless you wanted to be something that actually needed a degree.

Nellieinthebarn · 23/07/2023 14:14

Have you thought about an OU degree? I did three modules that led to a certificate when my children were still at primary and I was working. It was hard to fit it in, and somewhat exhausting, but it meant that I got a qualification and didn't have to give up work. This helped me get a better paid job, and I later used the OU modules instead of A levels to do a degree at a brick university. This enabled me to have a proper profession with a career path and everything!

My point is that you don't have to do everything at once, or even commit to a full degree now if the timing isn't right for you. I did my OU courses in my 30s, and started my degree when I was 43.

fgfhds · 23/07/2023 14:17

You're looking at this backwards. If it's a career you want you need to work out what career, and what you need to do to get into it. A degree in itself won't open many doors, many people have degrees these days, plenty of careers don't require them, and if they do you'll need to know what the end goal is to motivate you.

NoSunNoSun · 23/07/2023 14:19

I went when my DC started school, one thing that helped was I thought if it as a two and half year course rather than the whole of three years. Also I really loved the subject I studied so that made it easier. I didn’t want to be one of those people that knew they were capable of getting a degree but didn’t actually have one.
I have no regrets.

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