Motivate me to go university with two kids :(

[Noodlenation]

I went to an open day at university and decided uni wasn’t for me and just wanted to work. I was 18. Fast forward to 33 and I’m full of regrets. I’m now a useless uneducated mother with no degree and nothing for my kids to look up to.
now that I’ve got kids, I’m being told from friends and family to go and study. But my mind is just like how. I’ve got responsibilities.
ive heard of the struggles that people have as mature students. Do I want to get into that. Or do I get a grip and make something of my life.
just so confused.

Think about the Open University. They're very much set up around people returning to study later in life, and having other commitments alongside study. Yes, it will (typically) take longer than a degree at a brick-and-mortar uni, but you'd be able to continue your life as normal in the meantime, and that time was going to pass anyway so you may as well get a degree at the end of it.

I started uni last Sept to do my nursing degree, when my kids were only 2yrs old and 6months old...

I won't lie - it's tough. It's a lot to juggle.... uni, assignments, essays, full time placements, working part time, running a household... But I personally have found it so worth it to do the job I've wanted to for a long time and I would encourage anyone who wanted to study something that requires a degree to give it a go.

I'm now almost going into 2nd year and wondering why I was worried so much about doing it and thinking how quickly the rest of my time at uni will pass by!

Apprenticeship! Definitely. You can get to Masters Level with an apprenticeship. You don’t have to go to uni, in the traditional sense, to get a degree. You do the job and study, whilst getting paid, and they pay your tuition fees. It’s a no brainer as long as you can find one locally that interests you ….

I have worked with adult returners. First what sort of career are you considering?

Then look at the different routes into this. It may not have to be a degree route.

What's your current level of study? An access course is a great option to get you back up to speed.

What kind of support do you have?

I wonder if a few people who’ve answered have not realised this is the Mature Study and Retraning board - the purpose of which is to encourage and support people returning to study and training.

What is the next thing you would like to do with your life, @Noodlenation?

Or perhaps you don’t know yet - but know you’re intellectually and occupationally unfulfilled? It’s very easy for people who don’t feel that to dismiss university aspirations as worthless - I didn’t go and look how well I’ve done … And it’s pretty easy for people long past university to say Yes I went, but you don’t need to …

Start from where you are.
Qualifications you already have - A’ Levels?
Talents
Skills you’ve gained
Life goals.
Motivation / determination / resilience.
These are the things you bring to your application.

Then consider
Family situation
Financial situation
Geographical location and mobility, or lack of.
These are the things that might help or hinder you and will need to be worked around.

Then weigh up your
Motivation / determination / resilience.

Can you name three subject you might quite like to study?

(Apologies for typos and inadvertent repetition!)

If you have a particular career in mind that requires a degree then you should go for it! I put it off for many years and then nearly didn't bother, as I thought I was happy as I was for the most part and wasn't 100% sure on my chosen subject.

I took a leap of faith in the end and just did it, and I've now finished the first year of my degree and absolutely loved it! The contact hours are fairly low on my course, but there is an awful lot of independent studying to do, and my course is heavy on exams/essays. So it is mostly manageable and I still get to have a life and pursue hobbies outside of university, apart from the lead up to exams and essay deadlines when the workload really ramps up!

The first year has gone so quickly, and the next two years will be done in the blink of an eye. I would go for it if it's what you want, it's not been nearly as daunting as I thought it would be!

I’m 40 with 4 under 11 and have just gone back to uni for a PhD. It is hard but possible. I think you need to focus more on the questions people have asked rather than jump to university being a possible answer. It could be a good move but will it help you get to where you want to go?

Maybe I’m the voice of unreason, but I don’t see why you’re only allowed to study a subject that leads directly to a specified job.

We only get one life. The OP is surely just as entitled as any other human being to dedicate three years to degree level thinking and learning for its own sake. If that’s what she wants to do, and if she can find a way to make it happen.

@Noodlenation I completely understand the impulse to want to be all the things you intended to be for your children. Reading for a BA in Philosophy and then spending the next thirty years working in a bookshop or developing a revolutionary new thesis is just as valuable as taking a degree in Nursing or Engineering. And any general, non-vocational degree will put you in line for graduate opportunities that might otherwise be less straightforward to access.

Obviously if you do have a vocation in mind for which an apprenticeship would be a better route - do that. Just don’t feel you must be limited by a strictly utilitarian approach to your own life.

@MayIDestroyYou if you read the OP, does it sound like she's looking to study for the fun of it? She talks about "being told from friends and family" and is asking us to motivate her, I really don't think OP is looking for permission to study for fun with 2 kids here, I think she's looking for permission to not feel so pressured to do it.

Firstly, you're not a useless mother. No such thing! You are an amazing mother. It's the hardest job ;)

Secondly, you don't have to do a degree if you don't want to. If you are interested in stepping into the world of study, you can try an OU free course, or a free level 2 course (link: https://freecoursesinengland.co.uk/free-courses-1/ ). Next step up is a level 3 course (A-level equivalent) - I have done courses with Learn Direct and The Open Study College and recommend both.

Have a look around and see what you might want to do - no need to jump in and do a degree as it's expensive and it might not be in the area you want.

Good luck! x