Congratulations to all who have lost weight, whether by fat burning or blood donating or a combo of the two 
.
I'm not going to weigh myself today as that appalling woman Cathy Twat has been round (how does she get from one house to another so quickly, like Father Christmas? Does she have a magic sleigh pulled by fat puffing cake-fed reindeer? )
On Saturday I weighed in at 146.4, so I will put that, just for the sake of hanging on in with the process. I am a little bit heartened by the fact that my weight isn't bounding up too much when I fail to eat sensibly. It would have done, if the loss had just been achieved by crash dieting instead of more prolonged sensible eating.
It has been quite a tough time rfor me recently. I had to draft a new witness statement this morning in preparation for my son's inquest. He died over a year ago but the process is so slow. I had been putting it off, and as usual it is only when I am forced to confront certain things that I realise just how massive and massively costly my weird numb abstraction from them is, most of the time.
I absolutely don't want to go into any details about that here because it might be a bit derailing for the thread, but I did just want to mention it, because that is an important part of what emotional eating is: the preservation of a kind of blankness. And of course the same could be said for the concern to lose weight: Its just a distraction, something to hang attention on to stop it going elsewhere.
I feel bad about mentioning something so deraily, but I just want to think about it here in generic terms -- in the sense that we ALL have things in our life that are horrible, and it is sometimes hard to see the impact they have on things like our eating, precisely because we use things like eating to blunt and blur and bludgeon-into-silence our awareness of how those difficulties make us feel.
I'm sorry, again, to talk about something so difficult here, but I'm struggling to stay on board with bootcamp, and typing the above feels like something of a fingerhold on the process.
I feel the need to say something immensely trivial now, to try and reverse any chilling effect my selfish mention of something so difficult might have on the thread. I could just mention that I had my first post-lockdown sauna yesterday. I think I have lost the hang of enjoying a sauna though. I couldn't rememberwhy sitting around being very hot was better than just sitting around.