Bit of background for you. My H and I separated at the end of October 2009. He was and is still having an affair. The divorce is now progressing, since he made it clear he has no wish to ever move back in or end affair.
Lat year was very hard on my lovely DD. She missed her daddy terribly as he was away an awful lot (carrying out affair) which unsettled her as he was often away for days and when home seemed very out of sorts and then it all came to a head when I discovered the full deception and moved out with 2 DCs.
My DD is age 2 and isn't 3 until July. My son is currently 15 months. My son is a very sturdy chap and seems to be fine with everything. However my beautiful daughter (even now) still struggles and misses her Dad
She often cries and says she misses him. I try to ensure she see's him at least 3 times a week and does good things with him and me. My H is living with his dad, unemployed and looking for a job, so he has plenty of time on his hands right now. However the OW lives 4 hours drive away so whenever he goes to see her he is away for 3 nights at least. So my DD and DS will see him lots and then he goes away for a big stretch and then they see him again. Which in a weird way is harder on my DD it seems.
I said to him we need clearer boundaries and contact times as I hate how distressed she gets.
Can someone whose been through this tell me what I say to my DD to reassure her and advise me on contact regularity that will bring her more peace and security.
FWIW my H is fairly unstable and cannot cope with looking after them overnight or seeing them alone. Just so you know now before advising me.
Sorry it's so long.