DS just told me something heartbreaking :(

[Madascheese]

I'm so sad for him and I don't know the best way to handle this.

He is 4 and just back from a volcano extended trip to see his Dad overseas.

I see their interraction via webcamming and have long thought my ex doesn't have a very active sort of relationship with DS (it's not very pro active and seems to be more about what ex wants rather than thinking it through from DS's point of view.)

However, i try to be postive and re-inforce their relationship to DS as it's ex and me that have the problem not DS and Ex. I tend to be more child centred in my parenting style so DS and I muddle along as a team with my partner (who we see at weekends)

Anyway, DS is the most cheerful soul on the earth usually but since he's been having overseas visits, he's got more and more clingy (sleeping in with me a lot more)

Tonight as he was struggling not to go to sleep he told me he is too lonely at Daddy's and he doesn't like going to sleep there all on his own.

I've had a chat with him about him never being alone cos he always has his Mummy kisses with him, but he refused to be consoled and just clung to me in tears. Eventually he relaxed and has gone to sleep in his own bed (on a 'deal' he can come into me if he wakes.

I'm sure I'm not the first to have faced this, but it's the first time I've faced it, any guidance, or wise things to tell DS would be really appreciated.
Thanks

Thanks, this has really helped, it's just been a slightly pooey week all round.

I hesitate to tell you that he's not allowed his bear at his Dad's (ex calls it a smelly old thing...errr that's the point you big knobhead) so he has to have a nice clean teddy when he's there (DS obvnov)- found that gem out last night from littlemad.

I bloody well hate it more now DS is actually able to start telling me these things, previously I could dismiss what I imagined happening as my bad thoughts and bitterness, but now he can actually decribe things better.

Ok, I suspect he'll be dragging me back to court shortly as I've had the temerity to tell him he can't have holiday when he wants because littlemad has some induction days at school. I'm going to give serious consideration to asking for a review by CAFCASS of contact arrangements. Anyone done this? CAFCASS were full of high praise for me in all their previous report and had no hesitation in recommending I be given sole residency.

I realise this is going off my orginal topic a bit, and thanks for those who haven't lost the will to live yet!

[enjoys the hug fest]

Continuing hugfest

Yes, I have experience of a CAFCASS review and you can request it solely based on what you have written here. At the least, they need to get the 2 of you in a room to discuss these points.
Can I ask what the handover is like? It's very hard to take video etc of when he is upset, but if you can have an independant mediator there. I believe that if you have serious concerns over how he is being cared for, CAFCASS have to implement a full review of how DS is when he is in his care. I'm not sure how that will work wiht him being overseas. But they should at least be sitting and talking with DS now that he is capable. Granted they don't have to do what DS wants, but they do have to listen to him.

Just a hug and hopes etc. for you for these things to be sorted out for for you and DS.