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Original poster

I can't get a date ...

28 replies

squareheadcut · 01/04/2010 23:38

it's been ages - four months since the last guy I had in fact. I know it's cos i can't get out to bars or clubs as i am a LP. what's wrong with me? guys don't ask me out. my friend says i might come across as intimidating cos i am confident. i'm quite pretty (well not hideous) what shall i do?

OP posts:
thesunshinesbrightly · 02/04/2010 00:33

Four month's are you kidding me?

Original poster
squareheadcut · 03/04/2010 23:28

that's a long time to go without don't u think?

OP posts:
MrsMorgan · 03/04/2010 23:36

Hmm 4 mths is a very short time. I have been single for 4 yrs.

Original poster
squareheadcut · 03/04/2010 23:39

i don't mean relationship, the last proper relatioship i had was for me, about 5 years too. i'm talking just straight dates, pretty meaningless sex is all i hold out or getting.

OP posts:
MollieO · 03/04/2010 23:53

Try 6 years .

Original poster
squareheadcut · 03/04/2010 23:54

do u mean u have had no sex in 6 years?

OP posts:
Mspontipine · 04/04/2010 00:35

Sex................sex............... what was that again ???

thesunshinesbrightly · 04/04/2010 16:34

Well sex is pretty easy to get, if that's all you want or maybe you are just acting desperate and your scaring the poor men

Try playing it cool.

MollieO · 04/04/2010 19:31

squarehead yes . Apparently you actually have to go out to meet men as they don't come to the house (so my friends tell me ).

kdk · 04/04/2010 21:41

damn mollie, I knew I was doing something wrong!

Popzie · 04/04/2010 21:45

have you tried internet dating? a lot of my male friends do it (only coz they are the single ones in my circle) and think it's brill, especially if you are london based

kdk · 04/04/2010 21:46

and celibate (bar odd snog/grope) for best part of four years ... still all seems to be in working order though!

MollieO · 04/04/2010 22:14

Not tried internet dating although I do know people who have done so and met their long term partner (no children though). Pre-dc I could do what I liked and no one would know unless I chose to tell them. My private life was private, which it wouldn't be now.

Popzie · 04/04/2010 22:32

Seriously, if i were in a city (only because it seems more cosmopoliton) I'd do it. It's very 'now' aparently and a great way to get out for an evening. If you try the Guardian or Times sites then you get a higher callibre of clietele aparently. I'd do it but am with DH so can't [in another life emoticon].

kdk · 05/04/2010 09:39

Hi Popzie - unfortunately, from personal experience, think internet dating is actually quite difficult for women over 30 with kids in London - there is a huge pool of single attractive intelligent women without kids - and the available corresponding men are able to pick and choose ...

I consider myself not unattractive nor unintelligent and discount most of the men I get approached by purely on age, intelligence or looks - often they are under 30 or thick munters!

If you're out of London, seems to be a lot more productive - take a look at the 'where have all the fit men ...' thread for examples.

Fliight · 05/04/2010 09:44

I'm waiting for one to come to my house, actually.

Internet dating is awful, generally. Some exceptions of course but really it is bad for self esteem imo. So many opportunities for rejection.

Popzie · 06/04/2010 15:30

Really kdk? Gosh, I'd have thought those sorts of women should be out and about socialising and finding love than using the internet, which is far more convenient for women who don't want to go clubbing and who have other responsibilities. Shows how much I know about it, but wouldn't using one of the broadsheet websites be out of their audience?

Oh well, maybe I don't envy you so much after all. Good luck with it all.

lou33 · 06/04/2010 15:48

i had fun internet dating, but although i met my now bf online it wasnt a dating site

taken4granted · 17/04/2010 15:58

so what are the good dating sites anyway I've been on POF met one guy intially lovely bit unfortunately he's turned out to be a typica plonker and messing me about - so cheesed off and up north (lancaster area) the guys my age are all fat bald and into motorbikes (which I'm not) so the gene pool up here is very very limited!

kdk · 17/04/2010 18:07

god knows t4g, but if you find any let us know! Ones i know - but don't know if I'd recommend include OKCupid, Smooch, girlsdateforfree - those are all absolutely free - also datingforparents and singlewithkids but think those two you have to pay to read messages.

Re fat bald guys with or without motorbikes - think they are just an occupational hazard!

Could be worse, I get teenagers, the over-60s and guys who either wear dresses or invite me for rides on their disability scooters...

ninah · 18/04/2010 19:39

snort at kdk

sincitylover · 18/04/2010 19:52

I think a high proportion of British men (guessing about 60%) look like potatoes. LOL They can carry it off if they have nice face.

ie the Phil Mitchell look not that I particularly like his face

As the girls from fit and interesting will know I have also tried internet dating and I ebb and flow with how much I use it - def going through a jaded period atm.

However last year I did have a 'no strings meeting' with a very fit guy ( we did correspond for months beforehand so got him sussed out beforehand) and also dated a guy for six months who was rather laid back for my liking and was also a little bit strange in the end.

Also went on a few dates which were good experience (talking to someone you haven't actually met in person for 3 plus hours is quite a big ask imo) but didn't turn into anything further which was fine by both parties I think.

Currently get plenty of emails but rarely reply to any. But I'm not particularly looking for a serious relationship. It would have to be someone exceptional for me to consider that rather than the other way round - ie want a relationship and look for someone to fit the bill.

Pollo · 21/04/2010 03:50

Sorry you are finding it difficult. No guy in my life for 10 years (yes, that's years). Was Ok for the first 7, happy to be single. Then, of course, I fell for someone who just thought I was a good laugh. Have tried internet dating but no success - met a couple of guys whom I didn't fancy and a couple who didn't fancy me. Have now fallen (feels like over a very high cliff) for a guy at work who, again, thinks I am a bit of a laugh. Am slim and fit through running, have interests outside work, a good job and just want to be content with my lot. Am very lucky in so much of my life but ache (literally) for a relationship. Hate to say it but think it's partly (or maybe mostly) an age thing. What guy in his right mind would want an OK-looking, slim, fit, well- educated, active, lively woman with a good job, who takes trouble over her appearance? Whatever they want, I ain't got it!! Good luck to all of you looking for a date!

sincitylover · 21/04/2010 11:03

how old are you Pollo?

gillybean2 · 22/04/2010 09:32

I too would like to know how to go about getting a date. I don't have the opportunity (no 'every other weekend free', no babysitters and no friends to go with) or the finances (to pay for a sitter or to go out and I have no money for anything but basic clothes either) to be able to go out anywhere.

I did meet someone of a dating site and he seemed great, but he was a pathalogical liar and couldn't keep up the facade he had built for more than a few months.

Most guys on those things seem to be after sex and not much else too. I'm sure some must be better, probably the ones you pay for, but guess what, no money to waste on such frivolities... And as someone else said, why would a guy pick a single parent who can't just up and go, or can't even have sex anytime they feel like it.

I've resigned myself to being single even though I would love to have someone to share life with. And as for sex, i forgot what that is too!

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