No one ever gets it

[MrsMorgan]

I put up a good happy face, but even when it starts to crack, no one ever notices and I am left to cry on my own, pull myself together and carry on.

i am so tired of pretending

Slightly struggling again today. Felt really in need of a hug from a friend yesterday/today as I had a crappy situation with xp, but as usual there was no one there with time for me.

How is everything?

I know how you feel too. I liken it to living in a world where I don't know the rules.

I tell people, but it doesn't help. I try to talk myself up, and be kind to myself. I'm an LP of four Inc one 3 month old who I've done alone since birth.

I get so scared of my future. Terrified.

know what you mean - I keep worrying what will happen if my ll decides to sell up. Have a bad credit record and think it might be difficult to find something else.

Being homeless is one of my worst fears.

Meanwhile my exh keeps boasting about his 'luxury holiday' and how him and new p (she is the one with money not him) are looking to buy a house costing 1.2 million.

Also he has attended ds1 football about twice, never for ds2 but wild horses wouldn't keep him away from a new activity of ds1s because it is more upmarket and takes place in a good area.

However life though uncertain is far better without him.

My track record with men not good since split either - one non committal exbf, one rather odd (in hinsight) guy met online and dated for about six months and one semi stalker.

Hopefully some better times around the corner. I am optimistic in some ways.