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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

so what did you do with your wedding photos?

29 replies

sez2068 · 26/03/2010 09:24

hi, well, been separated from xh for 2 years now. was sorting out photos in the loft and came acros all teh old love letters and cards and worst of all the wedding albums -

well i chucked out the cards etc and actually had a little bonfire in the garden with some of it

but those photos haunt me! in the end i put them in a box and stuck them back in the loft - well there are so many pics of family and friends. and kids may want to see them one day? i mean i cant pretend it never happened worst luck

but just wondered - what do others do? did you keep them? throw them? burn them?!

OP posts:

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FeelingOld · 26/03/2010 11:50

My kids each have a box with newspaper on day they were born, first pair shoes, favourite baby outfit etc in it so i have put wedding photos and photos of them with their dad in there. I think the kids need to be able to look back at these when they get older.

Mongolia · 26/03/2010 15:23

I'm saving everything for DS. Just so he can see that there was a time when we were a perfectly normal couple with a lovely child, more so now that his dad is telling him he never liked me and DS has started to wonder if we were happy before he arrived

No letters though as they were mostly emails and they have been disappearing as I create new, and forget old, email accounts.

What I don't know what to do with is the wedding dress, it has lost all its significance but still feel uncomfortable of letting it go... certainly more difficult to add to the charity shop bags than my old jumpers/courtains, but probably just because it was a very expensive dress I have only used... once (unreasonable and stupid, I know...)

ChairmumMiaowGoingItAlone · 26/03/2010 15:28

My H has only been gone a couple of weeks but I can't look at the photos, so at the moment they're in a bottom drawer (conveniently empty now his stuff is gone).

Its faintly possibly they will go up again one day, otherwise they'll go into an album for DS. Same with family ones of us.

ChasingSquirrels · 26/03/2010 17:05

they are the cupboard, no way I will get rid of them, they are part of my history.

wasistlos · 26/03/2010 18:06

I've kept mine, too. They are part of my history and the kids will enjoy looking at them, I'm sure. Plus, they are - ironically - the only photos of me that I ever liked. I look fabulous .

NorthernSky · 26/03/2010 19:05

This reply has been deleted

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NorthernSky · 26/03/2010 19:12

This reply has been deleted

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Mongolia · 26/03/2010 19:45

oh no, don't worry NorthernSky, it happens, I have a friend who ended her marriage, destroyed ALL evidence of their 12 years together just to be back together one month later we still joke about it! Fortunately, all her friends had plenty of photos of her and her boyfriend/husband as to reconstruct most of the memories

IvanaPavlov · 26/03/2010 20:42

Though tempted to have a little bonfire too, I settled for keeping the wedding album and video in the garage so the DCs can see them when they're older.

chubbasmum · 26/03/2010 21:31

same here i decided to keep the photos for my dd as for the jewellery including my wedding ring i had to pawn them for food money no regrets what so ever

ninah · 26/03/2010 22:17

ah northern that's quite romantic really!
well my wedding pics are hilarious i have brooke shield eyebrows
was long before dc came along; had dc with a much more recent ex
my ds caught sight of my pics once and was mystified, i actually did feel quite embarrassed and longed - briefly - for a more conventional past
but the pics have my parents and grandparents in them, none of whom are still alive so I can't bin them really
even tho I hardly know the groom

partytime · 26/03/2010 22:25

I have looked at wedding photos but the most upsetting thing was watching the video.
Lots of relatives long since passed, and my ex and me in happier times. I hope one day to be able to look and not shed a tear. I put the video away and will leave it were it is for some time to come. I wish that at the end of this I can regain some of the joy I once shared, despite the awful '80's meringue and curly perm!!!!

macdoodle · 26/03/2010 22:26

Well the big framed one on the wall, got flung down the stairs after XH, and the picture inside shredded DD1 was devastated
I have the album and photos for her (and DD2) later, for the same reason someone said earlier, that we did love each other once, when we made them and that once we were a normal family

partytime · 26/03/2010 22:31

MacD - here, here.
Our DC's need to know that their parents once loved each other enough to want to make them and bring them up in happy, loving homes, until sadly one or both of us changed and wanted something else. But we, both of us, will always want and cherish them.

NorthernSky · 26/03/2010 22:40

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monkeyfacegrace · 26/03/2010 22:42

Mine got given to my ExH in a pile of his shit, so who knows where they are now! I think at the time there was a bit of 'maybe he will see them and want to come back'. Eugh. Thank God that didnt wrk!
Dress went on Ebay and paid for a holiday with my new man

Scorps · 27/03/2010 12:26

I had a big black and White canvas of us getting married - I gave it to mum and I don't care where it is now. Dress sold.

I have 3 White gold and diamond rings here. They feel like aliens to look at. I don't know what to do with them, they almost personify an utterly different him. Mayb I will sell them one day.

mesobitchy · 27/03/2010 21:14

I have my album under the stairs. They have been scribbled on a bit by DS as in a moment of madness, I gave them to him to 'colour the people in'

I looked at them the other week actually, covered my hand over my fake smile, and my eyes looked really sad.

My wedding was never meant to be, will listen to that nagging in my head next time!

Vistana · 28/03/2010 14:25

Please save them for your child/ren.
I have my parents wedding pictures and now I am older (and lots of the old relatives are deceased) I like to have them to look at them.
In my case my parents never seemed to talk about their wedding or maybe I wasn't interested in listening but its nice now we're 15 years down the line from the divorce I can ask things I don't know and feel I want to know.

p.s please ensure you are moving on from your divorce!! I've got a friend who is my parents age who 10 years after her split still rants and raves about what he did to her.
Ironically I acciddently heard the otherside of the story (both the otherparty and a bystander on separate occassions said stuff that they hadn't realised I wasn't aware of, as they assumed she'd told me the whole story) and she was not treated anywhere near as bad as she maintains and to be honest I think that if she accepted yes he could've done things differently but so could she and shes the one missing out on life.

Fruitysunshine · 28/03/2010 14:35

I have kept photos of my first wedding for my Daughter from our marriage. They are stored away until she asks.

Original poster

sez2068 · 29/03/2010 09:19

well vistana possibly i havent moved on - but he has, living happily with new gf for some time now.

thanks for all comments - i think i will save them for the dc's and also wasistlos - cos yes ditto i look great, never likely to be that thin again

so yes will keep them but somewhere i neverr ever have to stumble across them!

OP posts:

Madascheese · 30/03/2010 05:47

Hi there,

Same here, photos and other memories in a box in the loft for if/when DS wants them. No idea what to do with the dress/jewellery so I 'store' it at someone else's house so I don't have to come across it, but can't seem to find the right thing to do with them yet.

DS does deserve to know we were happy, but as he's just got to that age where he keeps saying
Mummy I will marry you, I don't think we are there yet....

consmom · 30/03/2010 09:13

I kept my wedding photos but gave ex all his family ones. Was a wise move as my ex passed away suddenly in October so I still have some photos for my son to look at

ToccataAndFudge · 30/03/2010 09:18

I'm keeping all mine, for the DS's, they would be here if we hadn't married, it's part of my "history" - and theirs as well.

BigBadMummy · 30/03/2010 09:23

My now DH has all his from his first marriage in the garage. His ex didn't want them and they didn't have any DCs so we have them, though not in the house. I am a bit about it to be honest.

My photos from my first wedding are in one album and my youngest DD has them in her room. I found it whilst clearing out the garage recently and she asked for it so she has them.

It is a tough one. I don't really want to throw them out as they do show a day in time that is important to the DCs and have people on them who are sadly no longer around, but then I dont really want them either!.

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