Given up on love - very sad.

[poshsinglemum]

I don't know what else to say really apart from it just hasn't worked out for me.

I am so fed up with men and love. I have lost all hope. I know it is something to do with me. Men just seem to hate me.

I feel sad that I was lied to when I was little girl. No handsome prince will ever rescue me.

Kdk, I'd really love to, thank you. I love that thread ! How do I contact you ? Not very good at this. x

This is unnecessarily depressing - I know several 40 and 50+ women who have had success with online dating and are now happily with new partners.
And in fact women of that age who met men through work etc and went on to have happy relationships.
I think there is a tendency to project personal negative experience as "this is really the way it is". Er no it's your experience/opinion.
It aint very helpful for anyone.

well, flicka, my experience of online dating is similar to kdks. A couple of years ago, when I was 39,I got LOADS of hits on meetic - people flashing/chatting all the time. Now I have turned 40, it has switched off like a tap.
I think a lot of men must put under 40 on their searches.
I was hoping to meet someone who like me, already has children and doesnt want more,but it looks as though its not going to happen via the interenet.
But going out is really hard, I dont know anyone to go out with, and there is always the language bar (am in germany, can speak ok german, but not as fluent as english by a long way, and bad communication is a real turnoff. So, I feel that I am probably stuck single as well.

PSM, you seem to have been doing some soul-searchign recently, by what you have posted on mn. Have you thought of writing an auto biography? I wrote my life story down,and it really helped me to think about it,and to see things from other peoples point of view. Your parents sound a bit like mine.

@ mff - of course it's my personal experience I'm talking about - I wouldn't dare talk about anyone else's - as I've said on another thread, I know it works for some people - so far, it hasn't worked for me - and imo, isn't likely to do so.

Not sure why it's unnecessarily depressing - only if you define yourself and your happiness as being dependent on being part of a couple - if you, like me, aren't that bothered by being single, then it's not depressing - unlike internet dating, which imo, is depressing!

have to say I agree with kdk on the whole

but look on the bright side ladies, at least we don't have to worry about bugging our cars

I agree with kdk and night. I joined a good dating site 2 months ago.

I'm late 40's and asked for men between 43 and 50. I'm attractive, young for my age, did a nice light hearted undemanding profile, with nice photos.

I thought I'd have men queing up round the virtual block wanting to meet me.

How naive I was ! In 2 months I've had about 8 winks and they're all from men who......well...you just wouldn't want to meet . 2 of them were nutters. I myself winked at 4 men and didn't get a response. On friday I actually got one from a seemingly nice bloke ( didn't fancy him but had a nice profile) I emailed him "thanks for the wink, I like your profile" and heard nothing back ! WTF.

I think kdk is right, men in their late forties can get women in their thirties which is exactly what my FH (not dh) did.

I get sent a selection of "matches" every day and some of them are so awfull I actually think they're made up ones by people taking the piss.

I work from home so unless the man of my dreams (or just someone honest, not smelly or too vile) falls in lust with me in tescos then dating sites is the only hope.

Its VERY VERY depressing the thought of staying single forever and not what I signed up for when I took my vows only 5 years ago.

Happy Bloody Valentines Day.

I've had friends in their late 30s and early 40s who have been successful with internet dating. I haven't had a date since ds was newborn and his father left. He is nearly 6 now and I'm in my mid 40s. Can't quite imagine doing dating from a practical pov. In my pre-child days I could do what I liked and no one would know unless I told them. Now someone would know as I'd need a babysitter.

I agree, the weekly mugshots round up of your 'matches' is a real glass of bromide

I always feel there's some malevolent little man who has been jilted once too often sitting in some skanky bedsit somewhere who does 'matches' - picking out the most unattractive/mad/weirdoes and sending them to attractive/intelligent people and cackling evilly to himself - then again, I probably don't get out enough for reasons which I've already explained!

The Fairy Godfather you mean lol

kdk - your last coment made me laugh out loud!

I'm 34 and divorced. Put my profile on a couple of free dating sites and had lots of winks and messages, but so many weird blokes, old blokes and (sorry to sound shallow) really fugly blokes!

Got all freaked out and pulled my profile from the sites.

How do single mums meet a new man? I just don't know the answer. People say - 'It'll just happen one day'. This frustrates me because how on earth will it happen when I work with mainly women/old men/taken men, when (if) I go out it's with a load of married girl friends (and I don't want to meet someone in a pub/club anyway)???

Tempting to give up on love. I just try to distract myself with shopping. Got lots of nice stuff in the Laura Ashley sale yesterday - my Valentine gift to myself...

Had to just say, i got the tesco valentines meal 4 2 , shoved in freezer for another day, went out yesterday and brought some lovely new knickers!

Recieved a bottle of vodka and a card from a fantastic friend and her hubby.

Went to a 2yrolds party with the kids and have tried my very best to ignore today but am finding it harder than xmas!

Soon be over......

Yes, kdk you're very funny. Who needs bloody men anyway. Wankers.

Gosh, as if I didn't feel sad enough.
I too have worries over being alone for the rest of my life. I have supportive friends who say 'you're lovely, attractive ...etc. You'll soon find someone' But I can't see it.
I feel unattractive, old (I'm 45), etc.
If I was so great why did my H leave me for OW after 26 years together, 21 of them married.
I have joined a dating site too, as you say no one my age seems interested, just the older, ugly ones. I would hate to be alone for ever, I need company, that is my nature, all this talk of enjoying your own space, time, company, I find really sad.

Just reading this thread and thought I'd chime in, as a happy single mum who hasn't dated for 18 yrs!!!!! (I chose to be a mum, using a donor, almost 9 yrs ago and so overnight got over one of my main reasons to date at all!!!)

I treated myself on Valentine's Day to getting the whole house deep cleaned by a cleaning company and it was the best gift I could have got! - far better than a romantic meal for two!

In fact, whenever I peruse the personal ads. in newspapers, I mentally 'reject' each and every man advertising because I think to myself, what I really, really want is someone to help with the running of the home, playing with and looking after my twins and providing enough money in the background to mean I don't have to work so hard myself....

In other words, not really a man but either a 'superman' or a housekeeper/ nanny/ millionaire - with occasional 'extras'.

I'm just so used to being single and relying solely on me that I couldn't even imagine now what it's like to be partnered.

I'm 46 and three quarters and the thought of having to compromise/ change myself in any way, just to get a man is a complete anathema to me. I don't even think to shave my legs except once every few months! , let alone indulge in the full Brazilian we're all supposed to have nowadays! I imagine dating now would only mean putting myself out - and spending even less time with the DCs - just in the vague hope that the man might fancy me....

I wouldn't mind a really, really close friend, with time on his hands, loads and loads of money, who adores my sons and who LOVES housework but I'd never again want anyone to live in my house and have any say in how I live my life/ raise my children.

So who would fit me and my life? - an elderly billionaire?....a toy-boy...?...a woman...??? I've been alone so long, I forget that Valentines' Day is supposed to be a special couples day. It sort of feels like something I 'grew out of' years and years ago - all that romance stuff.

It's perfectly possible to fully embrace solo life, freedom, independence and the empowerment of 'doing it all for ourselves'....though I must say, 4 days into half-term now, I could really do with someone to take the darling DCs off my hands for a little bit!