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Lone parents

Use our Single Parent forum to speak to other parents raising a child alone.

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Original poster

Never done this before !!!

37 replies

pinksmarties · 30/12/2009 23:15

Hello, I'm very new to this and am crap at computors and don't know all the abriviations.
Was left by husband nearly 2 years ago, (were together for 27 years and he was the love of my life) tho it seems like yesterday. Going through dreadful divorce and feel totally heartbroken. He's set up home with young gf and i'm so upset all the time. This week is total pergatry and am dreading tomorow night (new years eve). Wish i could have an early night to avoid it all but i have 3 teenagers so will probably have to stay up all night checking up on their wherabouts etc. I have friends but no family and the aloneness i feel is so immence and engulfing. I still can't believe this has happened as i was so happy for all those years and thought he was too.
I thought we'd grow old together and the thought of him with her is just unbearable. I always put on a brave and happy face to the outside world but inside i'm dying. If it wasn't for the the kids i wouldn't stick around as this missery is too hard to live with.
I live near East Finchley and i know there must be other people in similar situations near me but i don't know any. I'd love to meet other people in the same boat

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LittleMontyontheDustyRoad · 30/12/2009 23:21

Pink - ohmigod I'm so sorry. I've choked up reading your post.

You aren't alone, there will be many along to offer you comfort.

Deep deep breaths, it's one evening and you can and will get through it.
Have you got some of your friends to come and help you through tomorrow eve?

FluffyForLifeNotJustForXmas · 30/12/2009 23:27

There's normally quite a few of us around on here tomorrow night, you need not be alone. Grab a glass of wine and join us.

Your best bet for meet ups is the local bit at the top of the page, there's normally bits and bobs specific to your area in there.

As to rebuilding your life, you can do this. Your ex sounds like a complete twazzock but you are strong enough not to let this stop you from living your life. Take some time to work out where you want to go from here. The best place to make friends is to join a club, the womens institute are really welcoming and it's a start.

Original poster

pinksmarties · 30/12/2009 23:31

Thank you so much, yes a friend is coming for a while and we'll have baileys on the rocks same as last year which will be lovely. Thanks for replying, it's so weird doing this, chatting to people you don't know, but reading all these posts is addictive, i was going to have a shower 2 hours ago ! x

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FluffyForLifeNotJustForXmas · 30/12/2009 23:34

It's easy to loose track of time, food gets burnt, ironing piles up....

Welcome to mumsnet by the way.

LittleMontyontheDustyRoad · 30/12/2009 23:36

It's quiet tonight but you will find a lot of support on here.

I'll raise a glass of Baileys to you tomorrow night (only I need to go and buy some more first lol).

How are the dcs?

LittleMontyontheDustyRoad · 30/12/2009 23:37

Yes, a big warm welcome .

IfYoureHappyAndYouKnowIt · 30/12/2009 23:37

Hi Pink

Plenty of people in the same boat here so come and talk with us. My situation not dissimilar to yours but am moving forward in "chin up, tits out" style as suggested by fellow posters.

I'm planning to pop out for a couple of hours and then come back to see/corral DC's also. So will probably see you here tomorrow! .

Afraid I'm not a Finchley girl but happy to chat in MN land.

Original poster

pinksmarties · 30/12/2009 23:39

Thanks fluffy, need to get my son to cut and paste this site on to the bar thing or i'll never find it again. I used to watch Jam and Jerusalem and loved it and thought one day when i'm on my own i'll join the womens institute. Thought i'd be in my 70's tho not my 40's.

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coldtits · 30/12/2009 23:40

If you ever had a tidy house, pink - kiss it good bye. This place is addictive. I've been here over 5 years.

No, really.

FluffyForLifeNotJustForXmas · 30/12/2009 23:41

My ex mil is a member (she's in her 50s), she says all ages go, they mainly have nights out, cups of tea and a natter.

LittleMontyontheDustyRoad · 30/12/2009 23:41

Pink! 40's! Come on, there's loads of life in you yet!

lol at Iyhayki!

Fluffy - have you got the Baileys in?

LittleMontyontheDustyRoad · 30/12/2009 23:44

Pink - what coldtits says is so true.

Original poster

pinksmarties · 30/12/2009 23:45

I don't know what dcs stands for but i think it means the kids ? they're ok now but were very shocked as he was such a nice dad. We don't talk about him as i find it too painfull but they think he's a complete tosser and feel totally let down. where can i find a list of all these abreviations ?

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FluffyForLifeNotJustForXmas · 30/12/2009 23:46

I'm almost out of wine No baileys (apart from some weird double cream with baileys) I expect it may go well with the dressed lobster I ordered at the same time (yes, I was tipsy)

Original poster

pinksmarties · 30/12/2009 23:52

That really made me laugh. No i never had a tidy house in the first place but was due to clean the mice cage out this evening and am now too tired so will probably be surrounded by starving animals soon. lovely thought.

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LittleMontyontheDustyRoad · 30/12/2009 23:53

Pink - here

You get used to them really quick.

Enjoy!

There's lots of swearing, but don't ask me what they mean.

LittleMontyontheDustyRoad · 30/12/2009 23:56

Fluffy -

Go easy on the double cream jobbie.

Fancy running out of wine. Tut tut.

sincitylover · 30/12/2009 23:57

Welcome pink smarties - I am in my 40s and split with exh three and a half years ago.

Exh moved on very very quickly and despite being nearly pensionable age has new partner and also has twins who are eighteen months old.

We were together for 15 years and married for 13 but the marriage was never good so in many ways pleased to be out of it despite all the difficulties since.

I have two dcs of 8 and 13.

After the split I also adopted the tits out, chin up approach - I had to dig very very deep to do it.

I haven't got, nor am I sure I would want new partner but have certainly had fun on the love/sex front since I split (tho not in a tacky way) and don't regret it despite being hard on many levels. I have found the support from here and also RL friends (that have developed more since I split) invaluable.

NYE is always a bit crap I find. Others are right come on here and you will find plenty of support.

And your post reminded me that I still have some Baileys in the fridge.

I think its the Christmas drink of choice for forty something women. Buy a bottle every year.

FluffyForLifeNotJustForXmas · 31/12/2009 00:00

I have no wine but I do have a rather large bottle of Bacardi! I don't really like it though.

Original poster

pinksmarties · 31/12/2009 00:08

Thanks ladies, i feel much happier now that ive made contact and had some lovely replies.
I'll come back tomorrow. x

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LittleMontyontheDustyRoad · 31/12/2009 00:18

Nite Pink. x

Fluffy, you could have a really weak one with lemonade or coke?

FluffyForLifeNotJustForXmas · 31/12/2009 00:20

Bleugh! Bacardi should be banned, it's the drink of the devil!

I do have lemonade

Night Pink

kdk · 31/12/2009 09:08

Hi Pink

Just wanted to add my tuppence ha'worth to the support you're receiving. Funnily enough I am quite local - and think there are others on the local Barnet board - so maybe once the dust has settled, it would be worth trying to organise a meet-up?

I'll be joining the party tonight, drop in and have some fun (not doing Baileys though as I can't stand the stuff!)

Original poster

pinksmarties · 31/12/2009 15:35

Hi kdk, thanks yes i'd love a meet up. Off to sainsburys and i'll be back later.

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Original poster

pinksmarties · 31/12/2009 15:46

Hi sincitylover,and everyone i'm dreading my stbx having a child with "her". I think that would finish me off completley. Would'nt how to cope with that at all, the very thought. I don't understand how men move on like they do, leaving such trails of devastation behind them.
If it wasn't all bad enough already, i must have put on half a stone in the last 2 weeks and still can't stop stuffing. See you all later, is it a bit sad going to an on line nye party ? My kids would call in the men in white coats if they knew, i'm quite looking forward tho. Beats crying in bed. x

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